It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Sunita and Ravi Teja have a simple mantra to keep it working: “If you care for and believe in each other, nothing else matters. Not the differences in culture, nor food habits, nor a million other irritants”. They sure know what they’re talking about—she’s a Thakur from UP, he a ‘pure veg’ rice-eating Andhraite. And they’ve been married for 18 years
This story was scripted bit by bit at various points: from the time he was just one of her brother’s buddies—to becoming her ‘permanent’ boyfriend in engineering college as part of a ragging ritual—to the point when they actually became serious each about each other—got married and overcame cultural differences together. A good 18 years and two kids later, Ravi (45) and Sunita (42) aver it has been a rewarding process in every way. He is Vice President at Nihilent Technologies, she Senior Project Manager (R&D) at SAS. This is their journey, and this is how they see it.
It all started during their engineering days at the National Institute of Technology, Allahabad. While both of them had come all the way from Mumbai to study, they barely knew each other. “It was during one of the ragging sessions at the girls’ hostel where we are asked to name a ‘temporary’ and ‘permanent’ boyfriend each,” recollects Sunita. “Not knowing what to do, I called up my brother who gave me the names of his friends who were studying in the same college. One of them was Ravi Teja—a ‘great and thoroughly decent’ chap—as per my brother,” she smiles. “I had vague recollections of him coming home, but nothing more.”
But, he was a safe bet, and she went ahead and called him her ‘permanent boyfriend’. Of course, he had no inkling of any of this.
However, as things would develop in their own way—the controversial Mandal Commission and the associated brouhaha—happened just then. Thanks to the heat of student politics, college was shut down for a few days and the Mumbai students decided to return home for the duration.
“A group of boys duly came to pick us up from the hostel as it was a night train. One of them was Ravi. First impression: why on earth is he wearing dark glasses at this hour? Obviously he’s trying to look cool.” (He was not! He simply had conjunctivitis!)
As for him, the first impression was pretty impressive. “A young, focused and studious girl seated on a suit case—studying amidst all the chaos of a railway platform. (Correction: she was reading a novel!) So even as they did talk a bit on the journey back home, it wasn’t until later that they seriously entered into each other’s orbit once again. This time, it was a freshers’ party and the girls had to ‘propose’ to one of the boys. Obviously, Sunita’s first choice was Ravi!!
Though this was all fun and games, Ravi did make his interest known to her. “You know what she did in response? She summoned her brother to the hostel and complained about me!! But guess what? I had already made my intentions known to him—and assured him I was serious about Sunita,” he grins.
Thus, to Sunita’s surprise, her brother actually started supporting Ravi. “Honestly, though, I did not mind about it too much,” she smiles at the memory.
Gradually, they started dating. “We went on dates on a cycle rickshaw and I learnt to ride a bike for her—and had an accident in the process,” laughs Ravi. “But those were wonderful days.”
Neither set of parents was thrilled. “We both come from highly conservative set-ups. My dad was a school principal at Kendriya Vidyalaya. He was very keen I make something out of my life—as it wasn’t common for girls from our village to be professionally qualified. Ravi’s family was similarly traditional. His father worked in the accounts department at the Shipping Corporation of India. We were non-vegetarian Thakurs, they were vegetarian Andhraites,” she says.
Initially, Sunita’s mother flatly informed her that such a match could never be. It would have to be a Thakur boy and no one else. However, time, and the positive impression made by the soft-spoken and gentlemanly Ravi had her change her mind. Nevertheless, the engagement was a tension-fraught affair given that Ravi’s mother had never tasted North Indian fare like Chhole and Palak Paneer. “So she asked my bhabhi, is this the food you serve your guests? To which my bhabhi replied in all innocence, of course not! We actually take pride in plying them with the choicest non-veg fare,” laughs Sunita. “She wasn’t very amused though. It highlighted the differences in lifestyle—which can turn into a serious matter later. Fortunately it did not, even though we did move in with our in-laws for some time. The thing is, I was just so happy to be married to the man of my choice that eating super-spicy, Andhra food was only a minor inconvenience.”
“Of course, we did sneak out for street food every now and then,” adds Ravi.
But, he was a safe bet, and she went ahead and called him her ‘permanent boyfriend’. Of course, he had no inkling of any of this
As is the case with any partnership, a marriage is about cherishing each other’s qualities. “While the first thing I noticed was his obvious good looks, I soon realised they were matched by a fine nature as well,” says Sunita. “He is gentle, soft-spoken, respectful and giving. He is also an excellent listener.”
For his part, Ravi admires his wife for her “discipline, straightforward nature, clarity of thought and communication”. “She can adjust beautifully to the need of the hour. I have seen her evolve from a fun-loving girl to a very serious young mother and professional. Now that our kids, Ayushi (15) and Siddhant (10) are slightly grown up, she’s lightening up again.”
While Ravi’s work requires him to travel a great deal, Sunita is the grounding factor, not averse to taking a break from work, when required. “It also helps that the company I am working for is known for its consideration of its employees. Besides which, I have taken the effort to cultivate and groom household help. Reliable help is hard to find, and when you do find it, one must extend every facility as an employer,” says Sunita. Of course, Ravi does his bit whenever possible, by taking up their son’s studies and making Sunday morning chai that everyone loves.
Parenting is another important arena where teamwork is a must. “Well, I am the bad cop, and he’s the good cop,” laughs Sunita. “But all serious decisions with regard to the kids are taken jointly. Also, it is crucial never to contradict each other in front of the children. All disagreements must be dealt with in private.”
Quality time consists of playing cricket with the kids, or long overseas vacations as a family to exotic destinations from Australia to Dubai to South Africa or Kerala.
The duo also believe in the importance of not letting negativity fester. “Fights tend to be hurtful and energy-consuming; so it’s best to talk it out as soon as possible,” says Ravi. “Of course, in most cases I end up apologising.” In any marriage, corporate or otherwise, love, respect and belief are non-negotiable. “Like any other couple we’ve had our ups and downs. But no matter what the situation, we’ve never lost our belief in the institution of marriage. Despite the march of time, one aspect that has stayed as is the sense of love and protection I get from him. It’s a beautiful thing to be cherished,” rounds off Sunita.
By Kalyani Sardesai
