Camaraderie Connection Comfort

In a world that views romance through the lens of Bollywood and soap opera, here’s to the power of keeping it real. Dentist, RJ, voiceover artist, Dr. Pooja Sadamate-Nagaral and her significant half Shreedhar Nagaral—an IT professional, having traversed vast and varied ground first as friends and then as life partners—on the solid ground of respect, trust, understanding and support.

The issue with relationships today is that the media—including Bollywood and TV serials set mighty unrealistic standards when it comes to love,” says the effervescent Pooja. This realisation, she grins, has nothing to do with husband Shreedhar and herself turning 30. “From the outset, ours has been a relationship about connection, friendship and great comfort,” she avers. “Honestly, candlelight and roses are overrated. If you have them—great. But they are just frills, not the real deal.”

Wise words indeed and perfectly relatable coming from a couple who started out as schoolmates in the same tuition class before becoming long-distance buddies, and finally, life partners. Talk about a relationship that’s stood the test of time.

This, despite the cultural differences. (He’s a Kannadiga, she a Maharashtrian). Truly, bonds may or may not be preordained in heaven—but they are strengthened or weakened right here—through the choices we make, the responsibilities we own and the support we give to each other. “In other words, it’s the little things that are the big things,” she says.

Back to the beginning

This love story was first scripted in a tuition class in Sangli. While Pooja says they barely knew each other, Shreedhar has a slightly different take to offer. “She was someone who stood out. Not only was she great at studies, but also very artistic, talented, and outgoing. To the glee of us students, she would do a terrific mimicry of our English teacher. That would have us all in splits,” he smiles. “All that and she was so pretty. Naturally, she wasn’t someone to be forgotten easily.”

But as circumstances would have it, neither of them really had a heart to heart before college---and then too, they were in different cities pursuing their respective academic goals. (She was studying dentistry while he was pursuing engineering) Those were the early days of mobile phones and the duo exchanged numbers. “Simple casual chats led to deep conversations. Gradually, we started sharing almost everything with each other,” they reminisce.

There was much to admire about each other, and their personality differences merely served to cement the relationship. While Shreedhar appreciated her multi- dimensional persona—a dentistry student who also ended up working as a radio jockey for seven years before starting her clinic and voiceover studio—she admired him for his humility, kindness, helping nature and calm and composed persona.

The relationship progressed from strength to strength. She is outgoing and chirpy and talkative, while he’s a great listener. The days fell into the familiar routine of talking to each other daily despite having tough schedules.

So close had they become that it was now time to look at how far they had come together. “Thing is he is the nervous kind, while I am the more bindaas type,” shares Pooja. “So, when he asked me where we were headed, I was happy to say that I looked forward to the journey ahead.”

Nevertheless, the duo was expecting a few bumps given their cultural differences. “As it turned out, our fear about parental disapproval standing in the way, came to nought. Both sets of parents met each other and gelled so beautifully that they even fixed a time and day for our nuptials and simply informed us of the same,” she laughs.

After eight years of dating, they were finally wed in April 2018.

The building blocks of marriage

Post marriage, the young couple has been based in Pune. While Shreedhar is working as a network engineer with Cisco Systems, Pooja is busy managing her studio-Mimiqueen and her clinic, Relief Dental Care, Bhugaon. Life is hectic but happy with the duo managing to juggle precious moments together with the rough and tumble of work.

“While I am a total careerist and workaholic, I really appreciate the fact that she has a far more balanced approach. Family and relationships are important to her, and she really puts in the effort,” he says.

Quality time together consists of Saturday brunch, weekend getaways and travelling to different destinations together. “Honestly, travel not only opens your mind to the world around you but also helps you discover each other better,” says Pooja.

And while fights do happen, both believe in resolving them as soon as possible and not going to bed angry. “I am the one who starts most of the fights,” says Shreedhar. “But I am also the one who is happy to let go and start afresh," he adds.

“Yes, and that makes me mad because he acts like nothing has happened,” quips Pooja.

The important thing says Shreedhar is for one person to hold onto their patience even if the other is upset. “When both yell at each other at the same time, things tend to get out of hand—no surprises there,” he says.

Doing something special for the other person is always a good idea.

“Cooking for him his favourite non-veg Marathi dishes is the perfect peace offering. He loves my cooking, and I am happy to pamper him with special dishes,” says Pooja.

Given that they’ve married a long time and dated even longer, what as per them are the pillars of a relationship? “Well, love comes first,” says Shreedhar. “You must care enough about your partner to give them the love and support they need from you and put in due effort into having meaningful discussions with them. It is also important to enjoy a good and comfortable bond with each other.”

On her part, Pooja spells out the pillars of marriage as respect, trust, love, and support. “That and giving each other the space, we need to pursue our individuality. At the same time having some shared dreams and goals also helps bring you close. A strong marriage is thus a good blend of space and bonding,” she says.

Bringing up baby—err—not yet anyway

“We may have been married five years, but we still have dreams to pursue. Besides, having a baby is a huge responsibility—one that deserves due thought and planning,” says Shreedhar.

For the moment, two’s great company, they round off!

The mantras of marriage

• Shared dreams and goals
• Having realistic expectations of one’s partner
• Celebrating differences
• Supporting each other through thick and thin