It’s the journey that counts

Partners in life and at work, Gargee Patankar and Manish Sinha believe in celebrating differences and cherishing every moment even as they run their software firm— Gridlogics that specialises in patent intelligence software. A bonny pair of year- old twins—Aryan and Arjun complete the circle

It’s a hectic time for this Pune- based couple even as they share the responsibility of their infant boys and manage their own firm—Gridlogics, an IT firm devoted to providing patent intelligence software. With the scope of work and demands of two babies, it isn’t quite a cakewalk.

But some deft time management and juggling of roles helps. While Gargee is on the business development side, Manish is on the technical side. “The hybrid work culture with occasional work from home and differing roles are an asset,” exhales Manish. “But parenting two young babies is a whole new level of work—particularly given the fact that both have conflicting sleep schedules. That said, it’s also a lot of fun.” The operative verb indeed being fun—the precise emotion that has been a faithful comrade even as the duo took on challenge after challenge: an inter-cultural match plus letting go of the security of a fixed income for the vagaries that a first generation enterprise almost certainly brings.

But like they say, it’s always the journey that counts. “Similar values are important even if you are poles apart otherwise,” says Gargee.

Back to the beginning

This love story was first scripted back in 2006 with both Gargee and Manish working for different firms in the same start-up incubation centre. While Manish had his own start-up, Gargee was working for another IT firm. A common project led them to interact with each other and that’s how it all started. “No love at first sight business here,” laughs Gargee. “Honestly, that’s passe and not very likely. To like each other you have to spend time with them and take it slow and steady,” she adds. In this case, it was well over a year.

Adjustments with someone from a different background isn’t that simple. Dating is one thing, living together, quite another. Lifestyles and food habits differ. But we have similar values and shared goals. Plus, there was the joy of working for our own selves and building something meaningful

-Gargee Patankar

The mantras of a marriage

• Friendship
• Celebrating differences
• Sharing responsibilities

Gradually, work led to conversations, chatting and eventually, dating. Despite the personality differences (he’s calm and composed, while she’s the bubbly one), the duo gelled well. “We both share a passion for food and travel and adventure,” says Manish. The conversation flowed seamlessly. Friendship and companionship ensued. And yet, there was hesitation. “He’s a North Indian who’s lived in Delhi and the Middle East while I am a typical Konkanastha Brahmin from Maharashtra,” shares Gargee. In short, it was chalk and cheese. “I didn’t quite know how the families would get on, what to tell my parents and so on,” she says. “So, we decided to take both sets of parents out for dinner. The difference being: His parents knew what this was all about,” she laughs. “I still didn’t know quite what to say. Here was a young man with his own enterprise—something that my dad would admire given his own tryst with business—but mom needed some convincing. So, instead of saying anything to her directly, I just asked her to talk to Manish,”, she recollects.

It took time, effort, and plenty of conversation, but the families gave them their blessing and go ahead, and the duo was wed in 2010. So how tough is it to make an inter- cultural match work?

“Sure, adjustments with someone from a different background isn’t that simple. Dating is one thing, living together, quite another. Lifestyles and food habits differ. But we have similar values and shared goals. Plus, there was the joy of working for our own selves and building something meaningful,” says Gargee. “So, yes, it’s been a challenging but rewarding journey on all levels,” she continues.

From strength to strength

Given that they’ve both been married for over a decade—and have known each other longer— what as per both are the pillars of a relationship? “Trust, respect and space,” says Gargee promptly. While Manish would vote for friendship and the ability to laugh together. “When you have that strong sense of security and bonding, things eventually fall into place,” he says.

Like everyone else, this young couple has their share of fights too. “It isn’t possible for two thinking folks to agree on everything and honestly, it’s fine. You don’t have to successfully bring the other person to your point of view as well,” says Manish. “The thing is that in the quest to resolve matters, people forget what it is that brought them together in the first place. For instance, I have always admired Gargee for her outspokenness and honesty,” he adds.

Gargee adds that their temperamental differences are quite a blessing in disguise. “He is the patient one and good thing too— even though it often tends to bug me just how calm he is,” she laughs.

Quality time would consist of finding a great holiday destination to head to, watching movies and trying out different food. Besides, while Covid was a tough time for everyone, the duo is grateful for the time they spent together. “We spent two years together without any break. Prior to that, my work would mean different time zones and plenty of travel. I was living in and out of a suitcase,” reminisces Gargee. “So being together 24x7 and sharing chores was something that really brought us together,” she recalls.

Bringing up the babies

“After Covid, we were sure that we were ready to take on pretty much anything,” laughs Manish. “But parenthood is different. Nothing prepares you for the sheer responsibility of it. You tend to severely underestimate what it entails, but like I said, it’s also a happy time watching the kids grow,” he adds.

While Aryan and Arjun have just turned one—far too young to speculate too far ahead— both Manish and Gargee want them to have a balanced childhood with equal weightage given to academics as well as the pursuit of sports and arts. “Of course, studies are important,” says Gargee. “But they are not the be-all and end- all of the world. Knowledge comes at its own pace, it’s important for kids not to be consumed by the competition. What keeps you sane and grounded is art—whether it is drawing, playing an instrument, and singing. It is what supports you in an ever-changing world,” she adds.

But the serious thought is for later; for the moment it’s all about gurgles of joy and plenty of masti with the boys.