Yours truly, through thick and thin

This is a love story that could be straight out of the movies. Perfectly fitting, considering that Pune-based Unman Bankar is a reputed screenplay writer for the Marathi film industry, and his better half, entrepreneur Sheetal Shah-Bankar, a trader in the clothing retail business. Now 40, their unwavering commitment to each other, despite the familial opposition, could teach Gen Z a thing or two about standing one’s ground.

Their story has pretty much every staple found in a nineties Bollywood romantic movie. Annoyed parents and different backgrounds? Check. (He’s Marathi; she Gujarati), a conservative small-town backdrop with friends and neighbours heavily invested in the ups and downs of this couple? Check. (Akole, Ahmednagar district), a story that started in junior college with Sheetal standing by Unman through false charges of eve-teasing? Check. Drama in degree college? Oh, plenty. (Both were sent to Sangamner, where he was pursuing a BE degree and she a diploma.) “She belongs to a well-to-do, traditional family of Gujarati jewellers. Love marriages are not a common thing with them-at least they weren’t back then. So, when they heard that Sheetal would meet up with me post college, they weren’t amused,” reminisces Unman.

In order to put an end to such goings on, her hostel deadline was settled at 6 pm. “Her family had the clout to manage such a thing. But when that didn’t work, her uncle came to confront me, whilst we were chatting. Anticipating a beating which I would have no choice but to quietly put up, given his age, I fled the scene. Besides, I knew it was only her family, so I wasn’t worried about Sheetal,” he says.

But it didn’t end there. One thing led to another and Unman couldn’t sit for his exam given the enforced leave he had to take to escape her family’s wrath. “When I returned, the principal who had asked me to take the leave wouldn’t consider the fact that my attendance was falling short due to the said leave. He was obviously under pressure-but I was in no mood to back off,” he says. Despite his professor dad and mom intervening on his behalf, nothing worked. Unman left the college, determined to work his way up. Over the next few years, he took up various jobs to earn and support himself. “My father told me that since I had taken such a stand, I would now have to find a way to support myself and my bride to be,” he says.

On her part, Sheetal was confident that they would eventually marry. “I was confident of his strength of character and determination,” she says.

The drama prevailed over the next few years. But it was a happy tying of the nuptial knot in the end.

Over the years, the couple’s personal and professional trajectories have charted many courses. From working in clothing stores and setting up workshops to manufacture auto parts, the duo have taken their decisions and the consequences, thereof, on the chin

THE MANTRAS OF A MARRIAGE

• Believing in each other and one’s partner
• Willingness to take the bad with the good
• Determination to see every situation through

Unman Bankar and Sheetal Shah-Bankar

From strength to strength

Over the years, the couple’s personal and professional trajectories have charted many courses. From working in clothing stores and setting up workshops to manufacture auto parts, the duo have taken their decisions and the consequences, thereof, on the chin. “Like I always said, I was least interested in her family’s money. I was capable of taking care of her needs myself,” he says.

Unman’s entry into the world of movies was unexpected, but perhaps destined. “Someone I knew asked me to back a film he was making. Since the performing arts have always interested me, I agreed. The movie was made but due to some differences, it wouldn’t release. It still hasn’t,” he laughs. “However, he did manage to make friends with the film’s writer-the award-winning Kaustubh Savarkar, who has penned several critically acclaimed films. “Kaustubh acquainted me with a talent that I didn’t know I possessed. He told me how I had a way with words and making a particular scenario come alive-a vital skill for a screenplay writer. Bemused, I told him I had no experience or knowledge of writing films as I came from an engineering background. But he insisted that I had the inherent talent to pull it off and he would help,” he shares.

And the rest, as they say is, history. Unman did make it as a successful screen play writer and has several reputed projects to his credit. This includes the web series Gondya Ala re, Mala kahich Problem Nahin, Daah, the much acclaimed Lokmanya on the life of the iconic freedom fighter Lokmanya Bal Gangadhar Tilak and the upcoming movies Nalini (based on Ravindranath Tagore’s first love), 106 Hutatma Chowk (on the formation of Maharashtra state) and more.

Meanwhile, Sheetal with her inherent “Gujju” instinct for business evolved as a trader of cloth and has her own boutique. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but both believe, it has been well worth it. “Self-confidence, determination and complete belief in one’s chosen partner are key to making a relationship work. Marriage is a very different ballgame from dating but if you care for one another and respect the institution, it will work out,” says Sheetal. “Also, once you understand your partner’s nature, work around it. If one is getting angry, the other must stay calm at that moment.”

Given that she comes from a very different social background wasn’t it difficult for her to adjust? “No,” she says quietly. “From the beginning, my in-laws were welcoming and accepting. Not once have they or Unman ever imposed their thought process on me.”

Luckily for the young couple, Sheetal’s family also had a change of heart over time and gave them their blessing.

Bringing up baby

Considering their own approach towards life, both Unman and Sheetal believe in letting Anvee explore life and assorted experiences rather than shield her from everything. “That is the only way they will form their own opinion. Also, moderation is key to everything you do. For instance, we never banned the mobile or TV for her, but let her have limited screen time and make the right choices,” says Unman. As of now, Anvee is pursuing a degree in mass communication and media.

Life is hectic but happy with each one following their own intense schedules. While Unman pushes the boundaries with each project, he is unafraid of the uncertainty of his chosen field. “I enjoy telling stories on celluloid. It’s my calling in life,” he says. “As for uncertainty, it is a fact of life. Instead of fretting over it, take each day as it comes,” he rounds off.