Love that goes the distance

Former naval officer Seema Rani Sharma turned corporate professional and her significant half Alok Mishra (both 35) on the enduring nature of a marriage that is steeped in a long-standing friendship, shared roots and similar beliefs.

On the face of it, marriage between a naval officer and a civilian corporate professional is not the easiest of deals. Something that Seema Rani Sharma’s father reminded her of in earnest when they decided to tie the knot. Nevertheless, both she and Alok decided to forge ahead.

Unusual as it may seem, it was not an unsound decision. Their confidence in themselves and their relationship was on solid ground. Fauji kids both, they had grown up together even as both their dads served in the navy. A mutual love of travel, outdoors and an abiding faith in the institution of family were other commonalities. And while there’s much made of the fact that opposites attract, this couple is proof positive that similar temperaments and shared values have their merits as well. “We knew each other well, and thus when Alok told me of his feelings on a trip to Rishikesh, I said yes,” says Seema. “We vibed well, and while the defense is a world in itself, it helps to share similar cultural backgrounds. I am from UP while he’s from Bihar, and that’s pretty much the same socio-cultural belt,” she says.

Seema in her naval uniform

Back to the beginning

This love story was first scripted in Kochi even as the duo met in tuition class in the final years of school. They were both 15. “I was in Kendriya Vidyalaya while she went to Naval Public School,” says Alok. The families knew and liked one another, and bit by bit, the friendship went from strength to strength. However, both were career driven and focused individuals with a decided notion of what they wanted to do.

While Alok knew it was an MBA degree followed by a corporate career, Seema had dreamt of a career in the navy from the very outset. “It was my first career choice. Given that my dad as well as both my brothers are Naval officers, I absolutely dreamt of donning of the uniform as well,” she says.

She made it in the first shot. Except that as destiny willed it, she would go on to be a naval aviator-in fact, the first female naval observer of the navy.

To explain in brief, naval aviators conduct surveillance operations for the navy along the coast and take part in search and rescue operations and assorted missions flying hi-tech aircraft. More specifically, observer officers operate assorted state of the art equipment such as sonics, radars and other communication equipment. Exciting stuff, yes, and Seema absolutely adored her work, despite the backbreaking hours flying and the stringent discipline.

So, when Alok proposed, there were a few misgivings to how exactly a long-distance officer between a diligent fauji and busy corporate professional was going to work. “For starters, we made a pact to be together on important occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. Secondly, we both decided to come up with the 30-day-rule that mandated that we had to meet once a month. Besides, we were lucky enough to have the support of both our families,” says Alok. Seema couldn’t agree more. “Despite the fact that I had really long flying missions along with long hours spent analysing the data, I was absolutely assured that I had the support of both my parents and in-laws,” she says.

This was all the more evident when their little boy Advait (6) was born. “My parents and in-laws formed a solid network. Not once did I have to skip duty because of childcare duties. He was well-looked after, while I had the peace of mind to pursue my work. Honestly, that’s the beauty and strength of family,” expresses Seema.

THE MANTRAS OF A MARRIAGE

• Friendship and understanding
• Respecting each other’s dreams
• Keeping the family together
• Prioritizing each other

"We both decided to come up with the 30-day-rule that mandated that we had to meet once a month. Besides, we were lucky enough to have the support of both our families"

- Alok Mishra

Family first

However, after 12 years of service, Seema had to make a choice: to extend her short-service commission by 2 years or take up the Executive MBA programme offered by IIM Indore for those with a top-notch service record. She decided to opt for the latter considering the growing demands of their little boy. “Luckily, I qualified for the course, finished my MBA and was recruited on campus itself,” she says.

As of today, the couple is based in Pune with their two kids and Alok’s family. (Their baby girl Sanvi was born a month ago.) While Seema is currently working as an executive program manager with UST Blueconch, Alok is with Qodenext India Pvt. Ltd as country head Sales. Life is hectic but happy, even as the duo negotiate work along with the needs of two young kids. “A joint family is a blessing, it gives a couple the space and flexibility they need to manage the all-important work life balance,” says Alok.

Quality time consists of trying out different restaurants and going on road trips together. “We just love going on long car drives. India by road is a different experience altogether,” says Seema.

Like every couple, both have their share of differences, but the trick, says Alok is for one person to keep their cool. “You can have your say-but not at that moment. Save it for later,” he smiles. “Also, what’s most important is to talk things out and not to let fights fester. Talk things out when you can.”

Given that they’ve been married for 8 years and have known each other for much longer, what according to them, are the pillars of a relationship. The answers are pretty much unanimous for both. “Trust,” says Alok. “It’s pretty much the cornerstone of any relationship. Trust your partner, their integrity and their judgement.” On her part, Seema would stress on the importance of family. “Rest everything else falls in place. Yes, in our case, we are lucky to have been friends for far longer than we have been husband and wife,” she says.

Bringing up the babies

Parenting is a key area of partnership for a young couple. Bringing up two little ones in a fast-pace, ruthless world is as big a challenge as any. But both Alok and Seema believe in focusing on the child’s overall personality development and not just academics. “Yes, academics are important. But so are sports and extra-curricular activities. Not to forget discipline and consistency,” he rounds off.