Mom’s the Word Celebs recall their mom’s life lessons

She’s our first friend and foremost guru. The one who not only gives us life but also teaches us how to live it. And yet, we underestimate her lessons on life, love, hospitality, relationships and much more——lessons that not only have value for sentimentality’s sake but also translate to real life business and entrepreneurial success.

This Mother’s Day, here’s putting the spotlight on Mom-Made with Love, a management book that makes the case that most lessons worth remembering are learnt from our mumma. And yet, we hardly give her or those learnings their due because mumma does not spout jargon or wear a spiffy business suit.

Assorted celebrities and achievers featured in the book—from corporate honchos, industrialists and entrepreneurs to noted artistes, musicians, chefs, restaurateurs, and scientists—wax eloquent on the learnings from their moms that made them who they are.

The book is the brainchild of award-winning foodpreneur Gaurav Gite from Pune, founder of the Lebanese/Indian QSR chain Marrakesh, who started his incredible journey with his single mother’s life savings. Worded by journalist and writer

-Kalyani Sardesai

Think management and motivation, and the first images the terms conjure up would be business jargon, pie charts, figures and statistics—not to forget impressive speeches by mentors who seem to know it all.

What if we argued that the very first and most enduring lessons in management—and serve as the foundation in life, business and enterprise—come from home itself? Lessons that are timeless, boundless and uncomplicated.

Thus, the book, “Mom-Made with Love: Recipes on Life, Business & Enterprise”, is a management cum motivational book with a difference that celebrates the learnings we imbibe from our first friend and foremost guru—namely mom.

Here’s what some celebrities featured in the book had to say about life lessons from their respective moms...

A tribute, a love letter and a long overdue apology

“There is no mentor who has been able to surpass the advice I have received from my mother, and I suspect this is the case with most others. Honestly speaking, my personal journey would have been much smoother had I listened to her in the first place,” says Gaurav Gite. “Simply put, the book is a tribute, a love letter and a long overdue apology to the wonder woman that is Mumma-mine and everyone else’s too!” he says.

In all, the book has 21 chapters with memoirs cum management lessons woven in the narrative: Investment is trust by another name; Consistency is comforting; Don’t Spend a rupee before you have earned it; Waste not, What not; Use with intention: Mumma and the art of time management—to name a few. Each chapter is juxtaposed with research and a business case study along with the chapter summary called ‘Mumma’s words of wisdom’.

The book has an appreciation note from the legendary Raghunath Mashelkar, ex director CSIR, who terms it an exceptional book with a smooth narrative that is a must read for all sections of society given the VUCA world we live in.

To change the times, you have to be on time

Jaydeep Barman,
CEO and co-founder, Rebel Foods

“I left for home for boarding school when I was ten. And the person who was hardest hit (even more than I was) by my early departure was mom. As a result, I think she went a little overboard with affection, whenever I was home for vacations. Despite the fact that I was home only for 2.5 months cumulative every year for nearly 9 years, everyone thought I was a mother’s boy. I could be seen clinging to her saree in probably all my childhood photos.

The soft side apart, she was a strict disciplinarian. Among many other things, there were two aspects of my character that were especially shaped by my mother. The first is timeliness. She was a teacher of mathematics and in her forty years of teaching, she was not late to class even once. When I overstepped some limit, especially with respect to time, she would ensure that I got an earful and sometimes a couple of hits on the knuckles as well. So, there you are- she played a big role in making me value timeliness.

People make fun of my paranoia about being late, but I think it served me well in life and business. After all, we are in the business of food delivery, and we can’t be late.

The one thing that she really tried hard but failed in making me do was to sing well. She was a trained singer and keen that I learn as well. But, I guess I got my dad’s DNA on that front, and as a result failed miserably. Undaunted, even now, every once in a while, she tries to get me to hit the high notes. (smiles)

Innovation and education need uniformity of purpose

Kavita Sahay Kerawalla,
educationist and vice chairperson, Vibgyor Group of Schools

“Ihail from Patna, Bihar, though I have lived in Mumbai for over 30 years. I am an only child. The greatest gift my mother, Uma Srivastava, ever gave me was education and an abiding belief in its power. An irony because she wasn’t highly educated herself. This emphasis on education has defined my life ever since. A teacher-student relationship is very like a parent-child relationship and whenever anyone asks me how many kids I have; I would say ten thousand. (smiles.)

Speaking of my mother though, the other lesson I learnt from her was discipline. She insisted on a systematic way of life with a respect for time.

In this discipline is embedded the very next life lesson—consistency. Given that I deal with young kids, it’s important to be consistent as far as quality of education goes. Even if innovation is the name of the game, it needs to have uniformity of purpose.”

Open kitchen, open heart

Ajay Menon,
MD and CEO, Motilal Oswal Financial Services Ltd

“I am the youngest of three kids with a doting but strict mother. Though she herself couldn’t study beyond class X, she was a great one for opening the textbook, learning a concept herself, and then teaching us. This openness of spirit was expressed in other ways: in her care for other people and management of relationships. There’s much to learn from her wisdom and attention to detail. She has great networking skills when it comes to friends, neighbours and family and a great memory for birthdays and anniversaries—she is this important connect and contact for everyone. Growing up in Mumbai, we were nevertheless, very aware of our Keralite roots, thanks to her. Her kitchen was always open to friends and relatives even as they came to Mumbai to look for better horizons.”

Resilience in adversity

Dr Dhananjay Datar,
CMD, Al-Adil Trading, Dubai

“My bonding and e m o t i o n a l attachment with my mother, Shashikala, was so strong that I took the first breath of my life on her lap, and she left this world taking her last breath on my lap.

She taught us to respect food and never waste any. I remember an incident from my childhood when my father was unemployed for six months. There was no grain in our cellar and no money in our pocket.

Aai had the habit of storing some grains and pulses for any adversity. That day she managed to draw a fistful of rice from her grain bank and cooked simple but delicious dal- rice for us. She made us pray before taking the first bite and said, “Only a hungry person understands the value of bread. Remember, never waste a single grain as it is enough to feed an ant.”

In the very first year our business had to suffer a huge loss and thought of winding up. But my mother sold her jewellery and raised the money. Her reasoning was simple, “Times change. Do not step back from business, keep walking ahead.” If only she had lived to see her son become a billionaire with honesty and hard work.

To respect a woman and her dreams

Karl Mascarenhas,
founder director, DIVA Pageants (e.g. Mrs. West India, Mrs. Maharashtra, Mrs India-Empress of the Nation)

“My late mother Bella was someone who lived life to the full. Employed as a personal assistant in a Mumbai-based company before my brother Kevin and I were born, she devoted her life to bringing us up. Disciplined and no-nonsense, she demanded finesse in all we did. That, we keep our word. It was an ethic that would hold us in good stead.

She loved good food, travel, new experiences and made sure both Kevin and I were enriched by them. Mom was very big on respect, and we did not take undue liberties with her. She also made sure we respected women, be it pulling out a chair or respecting dreams and individuality. Principled with a firm sense of right and wrong, she nevertheless, was not a narrow-minded woman. She celebrated my inter-religious marriage to my Punjabi girlfriend Anjana.

Even as she battled cancer in the end, she loved to dress up well and put her best foot forward. The never say die spirit and effervescence still bring a fond smile to my lips.”

In a world full of brilliant people, it is important to be kind

Matriarch Suman tai Kirloskar,
from the House of Kirloskars

“My mother, the late Indu tai aka Maya Dixit, always stressed on the need to be self-sufficient in every situation. For that, we were to take care not to be dependent on anything, whether it was the presence of a material possession or the absence of a vital life skill. And she led by example, making sure each of her four girls performed the assigned tasks and chores to her satisfaction. That is something that has stayed with me. No undue pampering for any of us; we got the few treats and goodies when it was our turn, whether it was a favourite subzi or anything else. We shared a room and there was no talk of “my space”, that seems so important to the younger generation today. Simple, fuss-free, and yet enduring egalitarianism that made the going smoother for us as we went our separate ways.

I used pretty much the same approach for my boys - Atul, Rahul and Sanjay. A joint family system is a wonderful way to grow up; there are meaningful inputs from so many different members. The children were enriched by this diversity and vividness. Amidst all this, I passed on what was important to me. I was not the sort of mother to focus on studies, I prioritised life skills and general knowledge.

Each one of my sons has his own individuality and each one has done well in his own way. But, like I always say, in a world full of brilliant people, it is also important to be kind. As human beings, we find our meaning and direction not only through our work and goals, but also the people whose lives we touch.”

Sending me away from the cocoon of home was the making of me

Yatin Shah,
founder and MD, Precision Camshafts Ltd

“My late grandfather was one of the most noted traders of grain in Solapur. It was a traditional Gujarati household, and I, the much-pampered male grandchild. Whatever I wanted, I got. My mother watched this with increasing trepidation, and when grandfather died when I was eight, decided to send me to boarding school.

Living in the cosseted atmosphere of Solapur, I would not grow, she was sure of that. This was a tough call to make, and not one that was supported by others. This was just not done in a Gujarati home! But, she was resolute, and as they say, mother knows best. At the Barnes School, Deolali, in Nshik, I learnt self-sufficiency, independence, and confidence—all of which helped my future entrepreneurial journey.

When I graduated, my dad was happy to have me help him in the family business. Once again, she put her foot down and said I shouldn’t be content with just graduation. That’s how I ended up studying management and establishing my own set-up.

Looking back, I can only marvel at her ability to take difficult, painful decisions at critical junctures. Though she was a homemaker, she stressed on the importance of both education and exposure—without which I wouldn’t have been who I am.”

Go above and beyond your job description

Dr. Shubha Tole,
neuroscientist, faculty at Tata Institute of Fundamental Research, and winner of the Shanti Swaroop and Infosys award in the Life Sciences category

“Don’t let your job description limit what you do. This singular advice from my late mother Dr Aruna P. Tole changed my life, personally and professionally. What made it impactful was that she lived this truth as a much feted, pioneering occupational therapist with Tata Memorial Hospital.

That she thought out of the box is an understatement. She actually took it apart, redefined its dimensions and then put it together again, such that it would be the more solid for it.

A working mom in the 60s and early 70s, she would juggle home and hospital, often working herself to the bone. Her achievements I understood later—as a kid I merely saw the fact that she used up her very last drop of energy with nothing left for herself. It upset me. I wanted her to be well-rested. I would beg her to see that one patient less so that she would be a little less tired. She would simply shake her head and reply she couldn’t possibly let them down. In those early decades Post-Independence, the spare parts, odds and ends that helped craft machinery, appliances and prostheses for people with handicaps just weren’t available. It is in this backdrop that her inherent creativity brought joy and value to the lives of others. The prostheses she came up with were not just works of art and engineering, they were cost-effective, easy to use-and fit the Indian way of life.”

Good food and good values begin with her

Tarun Sibal,
celebrity chef

“It is to mom that I owe my affinity for good food made with the freshest ingredients. So naturally, I owe my career in the F& B space to her. The kitchen holds pride of place in most Indian households, and as far as I was concerned, her kitchen with its inviting smells and good cheer, was my happy place. Little things added up.

The way she chose her fresh veggies and fruits and deftly negotiated a fair price with the vendor, became my first lesson in purchase. Everything tasted different when freshly prepared in the kitchen: our ketchup, pickles and jams were always homemade; cream of almond and hummus were not ordered in, but made-to-order at home. Her attention to detail was what I picked up along the way.

She prizes honesty in a person and emphasised on dignity and respect in the way I dealt with people. These learnings are in my very DNA; I try to perpetuate the same ethos in the people I work with.”

My son will not just walk, but also fly

Vikas Khanna,
Michelin star chef

“For me, my mother Bindu Khanna is no less than an embodiment of the Divine. Her support, dedication and patience have been my fuel. Had it not been for her, I would have been relegated to walking on crutches. Born with misaligned legs, the doctors did not have many hopes when it came to my walking prospects. But mom refused to take their word for it. Mustering up all her resources, she got me operated at a young age. Next, I had to wear heavy wooden shoes to align my legs. I had to wear those shoes until I was 15. The pain was worth it.

When my shoes came off, my mother took me to the Company Bagh Garden in Amritsar and asked me to run. She was sure that I was born to fly; that nothing would get in the way of my progress. Tu Amristar ka best cook banega,” she predicted. I was not sure how I was going to achieve those heights, but my mother suffered no such doubts. And look, I did manage to achieve recognition for our fabulously diverse desi cuisine.”

Not just talent but your treatment of others matters

Padmashri Kailash Kher,
singer and music composer

“Music and poetry talk wistfully of companionship that stays on forever, but a mother who spends the maximum time with you in childhood, leaves an indelible impression on your personality. Thus, her presence in your life stays on long after her physical self is gone. She lives within you— just like a deity residing within the sanctum sanctorum of a shrine.

I often get complimented on the working and management style of my band Kailasa, but the groundwork of our working style, was laid in childhood. It is what makes us who we are.

My late mother Chandrakanta was a homemaker and a force to reckon with. She cut a charismatic, energetic figure in the small Delhi mohalla we lived in-through the meals she organised, and the social functions she led.

She always said to me that while there are all sorts of people in the world, what makes you a human being, is the respect and humanity you accord to those who can do nothing for you in return. Similarly, while fortunes wax and wane, just like the waters of the River Ganga, through assorted terrain, character is forever. The Padmashri award is a reflection of the truth that an achiever is an achiever, not just for their talent, but also for their action and contribution.”

If I don’t have enemies, it’s thanks to her

Avadhoot Gupte,
filmmaker, musician, and reality show judge

“It has been a harrowing time lately, but we won in the end. My mother has greatly benefitted from the treatment she received at Apollo, Chennai and it was worth the trouble of shifting there. Lung fibrosis is a rare condition that necessitates specialised treatment. I am grateful she’s vastly improved. While mothers across the board give life to their children, it’s only a blessed few who can save their mother’s life.

A happy go lucky person by nature, mom nevertheless insisted that my greatest achievement would be to be loved by those around me. To that end, she insisted on a few things: I was to greet everyone I came across and enquire after their health. Even as a child, I was supposed to engage with the people who came home, instead of playing in a corner with my toys. I grew up showing this basic courtesy to those around me. Music fans credit me with having redefined the role of the reality show judge; instead of criticising contestants, I encourage them. They feel comfortable with me, and so does everyone else. I never refuse selfies with fans, no matter how tiresome it gets. This acknowledgement of their feelings for me is something I owe my fans. I am one person who can claim to have no enemies, and it’s all due to her.”

The embodiment of humility

Chiranjiv Patel,
MD, PC Snehal Group, entrepreneur, startup mentor and change maker

“Simplicity and strength. These are the two words that best describe my mother Dakshaben Patel. Quiet, unassuming, and uncomplicated, she has a way of putting you at ease. Despite this affable persona, she was strong enough to stick to her guns of marrying my father; please note, a love marriage all those years back was a far greater deal than it is today. What’s more it required her to adjust to a family setup that was far different from her own. But adjust and accept she did, with grace, humour and complete sincerity. And even as she saw the family go from milestone to milestone: from scooter to car to a legion of cars, local trips to foreign tours, functionality to the choicest luxuries, she remains unawed by it all. She continues to be who she always has been: a no-nonsense, hard working and simple person, who can enjoy herself in any setting: be it a five-star hotel or a simple meal in a one bhk apartment with old friends. The change in setting does not change who she is, and that’s a life lesson she has demonstrated through her actions and choices, over and over again. Deeply cherished and adored by her traditional in-laws, she is an equally beloved mom-in-law. She is not the one to impose strict diktats; in fact, she is very modern on to that score. In fact, she and my wife live it up together, much like friends.

She is proud of me and happy with all I have accomplished, especially the work I am doing through my foundation. Typical of her, she will come up with some recommendation about a candidate who deserves help and relentlessly follow up on his/her case.”

She encouraged my love of theatre

Adil Hussain,
Actor

“My mother has been my greatest support when it comes to understanding and encouraging my love for theatre and acting. The youngest amongst five brothers, I was much indulged. She would give me the money to go for the theatre, keeping this a little secret from dad. Though she could manage to study only till class V, she is a voracious reader. Committed and loving, she was there for us no matter what. Times were hard, and we didn’t have electricity at home; so, she would use a hand fan and keep on fanning us so that we slept well in the heat. Graceful, witty, and well-spoken, she has a wonderful turn of phrase, and a natural ease with sayings and proverbs, and she brandishes the perfect words with perfect dexterity and timing. No matter what I achieve in life, I will always be her little boy.”

Her golden mantra: good ethics are good business

Vikrant Batra,
Restaurateur and co-founder, Café Delhi Heights

“Mom’s foremost lesson to me is that fear is never an option. She has played a big role in what I am as an individual and an entrepreneur. It’s no joke to have a career as long as 47 years—yes, indeed that’s how long she has been involved with the business. It is she who taught me the golden mantra: good ethics are good business. I know this to be true. Mom has not only been an inspiration to me but to many. She started with just two employees, but today we are a family of 1200 and growing. Throughout her journey, she has emphasised on the timeless values of forgiveness, sacrifice and commitment to family. A successful entrepreneur, she overcame every obstacle to build an empire.”

She believed in me before anyone did

Raghav Sachar,
Musician

“My mother Usha has always been my pillar of strength, not to forget, a repository of moral values. She believed in me long before anyone did; it was her belief that saw me through education and initial days of struggle in Mumbai. It’s a tough world out there, but she is always there to comfort me with open arms—my mom and my best friend. The most selfless person I have known; she puts her family ahead of herself every time. No matter how far I go, or how much I grow, she is and will remain the guardian angel of my life. I love her the most.”