The Seven-Year Hitch
Newly-weds and IT professionals Rohit Khudabadi and Prashasti Chauhan on tying the knot after years of dating. Whoever said millennials don't do long-standing commitment clearly don’t know what they are talking about.
" When one person is angry, the other must be calm. When one is letting off steam, it is important for the other to be quiet. Don’t let fights escalate "
Rohit and Prashasti live it up in Maldives
Prashasti and Rohit are just back after a joyous, sunshine-filled interlude in picturesque Maldives. Travel is pretty much among their favourite things to do. But this is hardly the first journey the newly married couple have undertaken together. Truth be told, their partnership together started years ago, and has traversed many a difficult terrain, before moving to the logical destination: marriage.
It hasn’t been easy, but oh, so worth it. After all, they will have you know the feeling of having married your best friend and partner of so many years-with family approval is something else.
Back to the beginning
This love story was first scripted when Ahmedabad girl Prashasti was placed in a Pune-based IT company. That’s where she met her senior Rohit. Work brought them together, but similar values and shared interests drew them closer. Besides, both Rohit and Prashasti are qualified engineers with an MBA and MTech degree respectively from BITS Pilani.
The conversation flowed easily and smoothly, and the eclectic mix of differences and similarities in both their personalities only served to strengthen the bond. Both had much to admire about each other. Prashasti liked the fact that he was the perfect gentleman-suave, thoughtful, and well-mannered, she also figured out pretty quickly that he spoke his mind “frankly and honestly.”
While Rohit respects her “deep sense of independence, her jolliness and positivity, as well as maturity of understanding when it comes to life and relationships.”
Slowly but steadily, the friendship metamorphosed into a romance.
However, given the cultural differences - he’s a Sindhi born and brought up in Pune while she’s a Rajput, Prashasti’s family had their reservations. Luckily, though, Rohit’s mother gave the relationship her go-ahead and blessing, after he told her about Prashasti, a year into dating her. “But it is her traditional Rajput family who had to be convinced,” he says.
However, both of them were clear that they would marry and with support of their loved ones - though it was not exactly a cake walk. “Keeping a long courtship going is not easy,” muses Prashasti. “But we really had each other’s backs.”
It took time, much effort and trouble, but finally the elders understood the youngsters were committed to each other. And finally, after, seven years of dating, they were wed in Lonavala, in December 2022.
THE MANTRAS OF A MARRIAG
- Enjoying moments together
- Celebrating differences
- Keeping quiet when the other person is angry
- Communication
Building blocks of a marriage
Life post marriage is hectic but happy with work and life responsibilities. As it stands, Rohit is employed with AArete Tech Services as Technical lead as Prashasti with Atos as a consultant.
Considering they have dated so long, what as per them, are the building blocks of a marriage? “Respect,” says Prashasti without missing a beat. “Respect your spouse, their personality, judgment, and everything they stand for. With respect, everything else falls in place,” she expresses. “That and enjoying every moment together--good or bad. For instance, when our flight from Maldives got cancelled, we did not grumble or complain. In fact, we had a ball, laughing and joking together, till we were put on another flight. That, in a nutshell, is what marriage means to me. We add value to each other’s lives, and I am so glad for that companionship.”
On the other hand, Rohit is all for talking things out. “I think all problems begin with a lack of communication and end with proper communication. Your partner may not be in a mood to talk but the important thing is to get them to tell you what’s on their mind,” he says.
Long years of knowing each other have taught them how to manage and minimise conflicts as well. “Prashasti has a golden mantra which makes a lot of sense,” he says. “When one person is angry, the other must be calm. When one is letting off steam, it is important for the other to be quiet. Don’t let fights escalate. For when they do, everyone loses out.”
In any case, he grins, Prashasti is the calm one while he is the quieter one.
From strength to strength
So how difficult is post-marriage adjustment in an inter-cultural set up - particularly for Prashasti since typically, the woman is the one facing a sea change in her environment and lifestyle? “Not very,” she says. “Both families are very cosmopolitan and accepting. Besides, the millennial culture is all about equality, sharing chores and supporting dreams. In that sense we are sorted. We have grown up with similar values and dreams, so that helps,” she says. “Besides, my mother-in-law is an absolute sweet- heart. She’s very kind and loving and helpful. In fact, I have been welcomed in every way.”
Both Rohit and Prashasti are particular about sharing house-hold work.
“I cook and she cleans. I have a flair for food, and she has a yen for neatness. That really helps maintain the balance of responsibilities at home,” says Rohit. “House-work is for both partners-not just the lady of the house,” he says. “If you want clean surroundings and good food, both must work for it and pull their weight.”
Work-life balance is a challenge keeping in mind the long hours of work that IT professionals are required to put in. But they aren’t complaining. “Since we are both out long hours we make it a point to make the time together count,” says Rohit.
Quality time consists of watching movies and chilling out with Netflix. “We can pretty much watch a series back to back,” grins Prashasti. “It’s one of our favourite things to do together. We laugh, we joke, we have a blast discussing the story and the characters. Apart from this, both of us are die-hard foodies and thoroughly enjoy trying out different things together.”
It’s way too early to talk about kids but both are clear Prashasti will not sacrifice her career. “I always tell Prashasti that she has it in her to do well in life. I keep motivating her to give her career her all,” rounds off Rohit.