On the wheels of togetherness

Media professional Ameya Dandekar and his significant half Priyanka, an educational consultant by profession, wax eloquent on the importance of rooting for each other through thick and thin. A beautiful daughter, all of two-and-a-half-year-old, completes their little unit

When Ameya Dandekar first saw Priyanka, his new colleague at work, he was rather impressed. Not only was she pretty but also she could talk about stuff other than cars. Correction- she will point out. “I can talk on anything other than cars,” she grins. But working as the duo did for Auto Car India at that point, the conversation was inevitably about-what else-cars. “On the first day, there was a buzz about him as he had driven up in a Mercedes. Me, I had no clue that it was a Merc-a high-flying member of the luxury car segment. What’s more, cars were an utterly boring topic as far as I was concerned,” she say

But as the duo got talking, the conversation seemed to flow easily and spontaneously-despite their personalities being as disparate as the proverbial chalk versus cheese. On his part, it was the instant attraction-whereas, she gradually began to warm to his open-hearted demeanour and infectious smile. “What I love most about him are his honesty and confidence. He states facts as they are, without wanting to hide anything. Importantly, he is a good-natured person and has a consistently pleasant demeanour,” she says.

Whereas, Ameya points out that she is loving and protective about the people and causes she cares about-a huge plus in her favour.

Having met in 2013, the youngsters enjoyed a short courtship and were lucky to get parental approval instantly.

Fast forward to eight years later-the duo are happily married with a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter named Miura-a car named after the uber-luxurious constituent from the Lamborghini segment.

What’s more, despite having been born and brought up in Mumbai-the couple has chosen to move to Pune in pursuit of a better quality of life. “Sure, Mumbai is quite the happening city. But Pune offers a young family like ours a better chance at work-life balance. The pace is more sedate and there is time to smell the flowers as well as spend quality time with our little one,” he says.

He is an associate editor with Cardekho, Bikedekho and Zigwheels while she has since branched out into the field of education-working as a regional advisor (South Asia) for the Brune University, London.

"What I love most about him are his honesty and confidence. He states facts as they are, without wanting to hide anything. Importantly, he is a good-natured person and has a consistently pleasant demeanour"

- Priyanka

THE MANTRAS OF A MARRIAGE

• Support
• Communication
• Sharing responsibilities
• Respecting each other’s dreams

Three for all: Mom, dad and little Miura

FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH

Life is hectic but happy even as the duo share the responsibilities of home, work and child. Given that Priyanka has fixed working hours, she relies on Ameya’s flexible working hours to help mind Miura. “That and a 24x7 maid. Let’s be realistic here. A good, trustworthy round the clock help is absolutely indispensable to working couples in a nuclear set-up,” says Priyanka. “Beyond that, living up to the diverse responsibilities of work and home is absolute teamwork and luckily, we are both in sync with that. He pays the bills whereas, I look after the home front-the sharing of the work happened organically and seamlessly,” she says.

Given that the two have been married for almost eight years, what do they believe are the cornerstones of a relationship? “I would say that at the end of the day, it all just boils down to support-especially after the children are born. Both partners have to pitch in and motivate each other when the going gets tough,” he says. “For instance, like several working moms, Priyanka too has lived through pangs of immense guilt at having to divide her time between work and baby. However, I keep telling her not to quit-she has worked hard to reach where she has and that giving up now is something she will regret in the years to come.”

To which Priyanka nods in the affirmative. “I am lucky and blessed to have a supportive partner and in-laws.”

Considering the rough and tumble of short days and long working hours, how do the two resolve fights when they happen? “Well, since he is the one who starts the fights, he apologises,” smiles Priyanka. “Jokes apart, we don’t really have serious disagreements and when we do argue, we are conscientious about not letting things escalate. Plus, we don’t keep up the cold shoulder or silent treatment for long. You see, what happens invariably when fights prolong is that both lose out on good moments. It used to happen in the early days of our courtship. But not anymore.”

LEARNING FROM THE TOUGH TIMES

The worldwide pandemic has brought several tough lessons in its wake-Ameya and Priyanka being no exception. In fact, the recent months have been particularly hard for Ameya as he lost both his parents to Covid. “It has been a gruelling time in more ways than one,” he admits. “But what it has brought home to both of us is the fleetingness of life and the importance of living in the moment to the fullest. Do everything that you dreamed of today as tomorrow is never promised.”

Despite the irreparable loss, both remember his parents fondly. “They were married for 40 years and shared a beautiful relationship based on equality, love and respect. Theirs is the sort of relationship we both aspire to,” says Priyanka.

BRINGING UP BABY

Priyanka and Ameya are hands-on and enthusiastic parents when it comes to their bundle of joy Miura. “She is a friendly, sociable child despite the fact that she’s been pretty much cooped up at home since the pandemic started. I guess, it’s because both of us are open and friendly as well,” says Ameya. “We are fairly relaxed in the way we bring her up. However, it’s all about affection tempered with discipline. It’s a fine balancing act of parental guidance which is very important to the child. For instance, she is very close to me but is also a little wary of upsetting daddy by being naughty,” says Ameya. “I think it’s a good mix.”

That said, Priyanka and Ameya believe in encouraging her specific strengths. “While I was a studious child, I don’t intend on pressurising Miura for her grades,” says Priyanka. “Instead, we will let her be the person she is meant to be and pursue what she loves, be it studies, sport or art,” she rounds off.