It is time to heal

Forgiveness is not just a favour you confer upon another person. You need much-needed protection for yourself. It protects you from corrosive feelings of bitterness and anger that can corrupt your mind and soul

In an inspiring article entitled, “Forgive, Forget and Live”, Norman Vincent Peale shares with us the story of a man who seemed to possess the great secret of living positively at all times. He had made St. Paul’s great words the motto of his life, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God…”

Harbouring an unforgiving attitude, nursing resentment and grudges can actually cause illness and disease. A survey conducted in New York revealed that 70% of patients who came to their doctors for treatment, revealed one form or other of resentment in their lives. Looking at their case histories, a well-known physician remarked, “Ill-will and grudges often make people sick. Forgiveness will do more toward getting them well than many pills.”

I hear that fashion-conscious women often undergo what is called ‘wart-removal’ or ‘blemish removal’ surgeries to make themselves beautiful. Dr Peale recommends what he calls a “resentment removal” job on ourselves. And he suggests preliminary steps to achieve this ‘self-beautification’ surgery:

Be firm and determined to rid yourself of resentment- no matter how tough it is, no matter how long it takes.

Don’t forget the great harm that resentment can do to your system. It may even kill you!

Realise that practising forgiveness is the first step on the path of spiritual evolution. Goodwill must flow out of you, so that it can flow back into your life.

Don’t just think about forgiving-actually practice it. Forgive your enemies NOW.

Pray for yourself as well as for the other person. Send positive thoughts to him. Invoke God’s blessings on him and ask for God’s forgiveness and blessings on yourself.

Talk about the other person in kind terms. This will help get rid of your bitterness.

Reach out to the person you resent-through a kind gesture, an action or even a letter. This will also have a cleansing effect.

Analyse the factors that caused this ‘resentment- pattern’ to set in your life. This will help you make sure that the mistakes of the past are not repeated.

Psychiatrists tell us that when people refuse to forgive and forget, their life takes a definite turn for the worse-a downturn. They become bitter and wallow in self-pity. Some become passive, lethargic and bored with life. They stop seeking the company of positive, helpful people and lock themselves up in a prison of isolation and alienation. Some of them, sadly, take to drink. Others find that smoking makes them relax. Thus begins the spiral downwards.

The truth is that a troubled conscience will never allow us to live in peace and quiet, and our conscience will continue to remain troubled unless we rid ourselves of the hatred and resentment that makes us unforgiving. If you are unable to forgive and forget you pay the price in physical and emotional terms. What form this emotional, physical deprivation may take, it is difficult to predict.

It has been said that holding a grudge has a destructive effect on one’s soul. But I wish to warn you that it can destroy the body too. We all know that stress causes insomnia but so can bitterness.

Research has even revealed a relationship between unresolved anger and cardiac arrest. People who hold grudges fall easy prey to illness and disease. When they make the conscious decision to cease hatred and resentment they set themselves on the road to recovery. This is why hatred has been likened to cancer-it is the cancer of bitterness that destroys both body and soul. We still can’t explain or even understand how the bodymind- soul connection works. But there is a vast amount of documented research that links the working of the body with the thoughts and feelings of the mind. Our emotional turmoil is manifested in our bodies. We begin to be at war with ourselves.

If we wish to achieve inner peace, there is only one-way-release ourselves from anger and resentment, learn to let go of hatred and practice forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not just a favour you confer upon another person. It is much-needed protection you need for yourself. It protects you from corrosive feelings of bitterness and anger that can corrupt your mind and soul.