Three’s company ‘plus’ a dream
Entrepreneurs and engineers Divya Tembhurney and Bharat Nadkarni, co-founders of a Pune-based IT firm threeplus, on the importance of trust, space, individuality and a shared life goal to keep it going
It’s not often that an aspiring entrepreneur finds a patient ear to listen to his aspirations, day to day obstacles, hopes, fears, dreams and learnings. But in Divya Tembhurney, Bharat Nadkarni found just such a person. Enough to get the conversation started and lay the foundations of a rock-solid, forever relationship.
And to think this Nashik boy and Nagpur girl almost would not have met had it not been for a chance introduction by a common friend at the co-working space for which Divya looked after marketing. “In short, Bharat was a client using the space,” she shares. After the first few formal meetings, the two had much to talk about: their engineering background (he’s a Mechanical engineer while she is an Electronics and Communications engineer with an MBA in Marketing and Finance from Pune’s Symbiosis), their common ambitions to build a career of lasting value and their willingness to take risks.
THUS WAS BORN A LOVE STORY
“I loved how she was willing to hear me out. Not too many people can do that,” says Bharat. On her part, she appreciated his ability to empathise and look at a situation from assorted perspectives.
Despite being the proverbial chalk and cheese personalities, their differences only served to cement the relationship. “I am spontaneous, willing to take risks, whereas, she plans ahead and is very organised. I am someone who would prefer to curl up with a book on a weekend while she would love to meet up with friends. These little differences have helped us both grow. For instance, I have learnt to enjoy having people over and hosting them to a good meal,” expresses Bharat.
In short, the hallmark of a healthy and fruitful relationship.
The journey of a lifetime begins with a smileFROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH
Worried though they were about parental approval given her conservative background, in the end, it all worked out smoothly enough. “He’s a Konkani, while I am a Maharashtrian. He’s Hindu, I am a Buddhist. Also, things in my family are fairly traditional in terms of needing parental approval for marriage. But once my dad met Bharat and his family, everything fell into place. He was convinced that I had made the right choice,” smiles Divya.
And so the duo was duly wed in December 2020 after three years of dating. Post-marriage, Divya utilises her marketing skills to work with Bharat’s tech company, threeplus. “She is a strong professional in her own right and holds her own for the same reason,” says Bharat. “I always wanted her to optimise her own potential and achieve her dreams. They are just as important as mine.”
So, given their experience, what according to both - is the cornerstone of a harmonious relationship? Bharat says, “Trust is the first word that comes to mind,” while Divya would root for individuality and space.
She says: “We both share the belief that a marriage is supposed to be an extension of one’s own personalities, a bonus, a value-addition. On their own as well, each individual is expected to be happy, fulfilled and complete—whether it comes to deciding their goals and going the distance to achieve them—whether it means taking a particular exam or pursuing a particular skill or simply doing what one enjoys.”
In other words, neither believes that marriage is about giving up on personal dreams. “On the contrary, it is about ensuring your spouse achieves whatever’s important to them as a person,” says Bharat.
What advice would they give to entrepreneurial couples working together? “Keep your personal and professional lives apart. Do not bring work pressures to the dining table and do not carry fights to work as it could affect other employees,” they say. “It isn’t easy but it has to be done.”
Besides, says Divya, if you are marrying someone with a dream to build something of lasting value, be prepared for the fact that they may constantly be preoccupied with their own thoughts. “Entrepreneurs tend to have vivid imaginations and fast ticking minds. They may be with you and yet not exactly at that moment, thinking of future goals,” she says. “Instead of being annoyed with them, the idea is to support them and build them up.”
Which brings us to the question: how do the twosome resolve fights and disagreements? “I believe that due space is the way to take care of any niggling issues. When you have had the time to think of why exactly you are fighting, you are able to have a better conversation. Apart from that, we are firm about not letting fights fester. Never go to bed angry and definitely avoid having problems carry forward to the next. It helps no one and leads to a lot of wastage of time and energy,” says Bharat.
The young couple has had plenty of time to get to know each other, though it’s been less than a year since they married. “We had a lockdown wedding followed by work from home. So yes, we have been together a lot,” he says.
Despite work pressures, they make it a point to eat at least two meals together, without the distraction of either the television or mobiles. “This is our time to reconnect and really talk to each other,” says Divya. “That and playing with our pet beagle Yoda,” she grins.
"We share the belief that a marriage is supposed to be an extension of one’s own personalities, a bonus, a value-addition. On their own as well, each individual is expected to be happy, fulfilled and complete"
- Divya Tembhurney
THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE
- Balancing each other’s temperaments to the advantage of the unit
- Supporting and believing in each other’s dreams
- Keeping home and work separate
- A positive support system in the form of like-minded friends
- Equality in terms of sharing duties and responsibilities
BRINGING UP BABY—NOT QUITE YET
As of now, the couple is clear that threeplus and Yoda are their only babies. Besides, taking care of Yoda is the best possible opportunity to rehearse basic parenting abilities. “It is true that having a pet and being responsible for its safety, comfort and happiness, is the most sensible preparation for eventual parenthood,” smiles Divya. “Jokes apart, there is the correct time for everything. Right now, it’s time to build our business and gain professional success and stability so that when the time comes, we can give a child the quality time he or she deserves,” rounds off Bharat.