Balance is the key to tackle tough times
When things are not going as we wish, we tend to develop ‘tunnel vision’-that is, focus on the dark, negative side of life; but remember that it is always darkest before dawn and trial and adversity can be powerful agents of change that help us grow
What is an integrated personality? To give you a textbook definition, it is a personality type combining or coordinating separate elements so as to provide a harmonious interrelated whole. A well-integrated personality is also a well-balanced one, in which, emotions, feelings and thoughts are in equilibrium. An imbalanced personality is one in which the person is often overcome by the excess of certain feelings or emotions like greed, passion, anger or depression.
A friend once asked me, “In this age of stress and tension, when people are being buffeted by recession, unemployment, uncertainty and fragile relationships, is it really possible for us to become well-balanced, well-integrated personalities?”
I replied to him, “Now, more than ever, it is important for people to strike that balance within! For we may not be able to control all that happens outside of us, but surely, our emotions and feelings must remain within our control!”
Why is it that we lose our balance? Because our wishes, our desires, are thwarted. We want a particular thing to be done in a particular manner. We expect actions to have a certain outcome. We expect people to react or respond to us in a particular way. When it happens in a different way, perhaps in exactly the opposite way, we lose our balance.
Why do we feel upset, frustrated, disappointed? Because we are attached, because we are involved. If I do my work, if I live my life with detachment, as if I am playing a part, I would not be upset.
If I have the faith that whatever has happened to me is according to the plan of the Highest, that there is some hidden good in it for me, I will not be upset. Once you realise this, there is no more frustration, no more unhappiness. You abide in a state of tranquillity and peace. You may not be able to achieve this straight away. It is a process through which you must move.
As my friend rightly pointed out, we live in an excited, agitated world-a world beset with stress and strain. This intensified stress and strain manifests itself physically as heart disease, hypertension and nervous breakdown. Doctors agree that the cause of such ailments is psychological rather than physical.
The great athletic trainer William Muldoon once said, “People do not die of disease, they die of internal combustion.”
Our ancestors in India were fond of saying: “Man durust, tan durust.” If the mind is at peace, the body is bound to be hale and hearty.
It all sounds so simple and logical; when we cultivate the spirit of acceptance, we acquire inner peace; our minds are balanced, our bodies healthy and our hearts are happy.
There are people who are upset with me because I advocate the philosophy of acceptance. They say to me, that this will make people lazy and lethargic; they will give up all their drive and ambition and simply sink into passive resignation.
I beg to differ! People who believe in the supremacy of the Almighty, people who learn to accept His Divine Will, never ever give in to lethargy and pessimism.
They do as the Lord bids them in the Geeta they put in their best efforts; they do not slacken; they do their best to achieve what they want. But if they do not achieve the desired results, they do not give in to despair and frustration; they do not give in to disappointment. Acceptance in the spirit of gratitude unlocks the fullness in our lives. It can turn despair into faith, strife into harmony, chaos into order, and confusion into clear understanding. It restores peace into our hearts and helps us to look forward to the morrow in the faith that God is always with us!
It is not enough to speak of gratitude or enact deeds of gratitude we must live with gratitude by practising acceptance of God’s will in all conditions, in all incidents and accidents of life.
When things are not going as we wish, we tend to develop ‘tunnel vision’ that is, focus on the dark, negative side of life. However, we will do well to remember that it is always darkest before dawn and trial and adversity can be powerful agents of change that help us grow, evolve to become better human beings, and eventually make a success of our lives.