A wedding to remember

When Pune girl Dr Nikeeta Naren wed Canadian boy, Dr Nikhil Kumar, in a three-day traditional extravaganza in true-blue Mangalorean style, they were surrounded by the two things most important to them: family and love. On their way back to Sydney, Australia where they have been living and working for some time now, they let Corporate Citizen in on what makes them tick

The flowers were beautiful, fragrant and all the way from Mangalore. Mallige for the ladies’ hair, most especially the bride’s, Pingara for the puja and supari buds. As were the sweets and other culinary delicacies painstakingly served on banana leaves. (The bride’s father comes from Mangalore and the young couple were wed as per Mangalorean customs, despite Nikita’s mother being a Punjabi while the groom Nikhil is North Indian born and brought up in Canada.)

Both the bride and groom were welcomed by an aarti performed by five married ladies to symbolise the bliss and values of wedded life. Traditional temple music is played in the backdrop of the Vedic ceremony. Pride of place going to the flute recital in the course of the dinner.

And while the wedding was thoughtful and meaningful in every way, the young overseas couple was grateful for a moment in their lives that depicted the contribution of their elders. “Sure enough, friends and family poured in their love to make everything so lovely. But what is humbling to note is that the wonderful place Nikeeta and I are in, is due to our roots and the sacrifice of generations,” expresses the groom.

Little wonder then that the hues of the sky seem to be blending with the bride’s saree. “It’s as if all the proceedings have been blessed by the Divine,” smiles Nikeeta’s fond mother, Kumkum Naren. “Some things just happen because they are destined to. All the planning in the world can’t manipulate certain occurrences.”

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Trust
• Friendship
• An abiding belief in the institution of family

Nikeeta and Nikhil exchange garlands

Back to the beginning

Speaking of destiny, this love story was first scripted in 2018 via a dating app in Sydney where Nikeeta lives and works. Having shifted to the city at 18, she first completed her biomedicine followed by a degree in Dentistry. As for Nikhil, he was down from Canada, training to be an Intensivist.

Despite taking classes together at the University of Sydney, the duo somehow didn’t bump into each other until much later. “That’s why I say timing is everything in life,” smiles Nikeeta. For Nikhil aka Nik, it was love at first sight. A hardcore workaholic and single-minded careerist, he was fascinated to meet the effervescent young Nikki who despite her dedication to work was equally clued into the restaurant and social scene. “She was living her life to the full...an absolute breath of fresh air. She’s such a happy person, it felt great to be around her,” he reminisces. On her part, though, Nikeeta took her time saying “I do.” What really worked for her was that Nikhil is patient, calm and tends not to worry too much. “I guess you could say my profession has a lot to do with it. It requires me to stay calm during stressful times, and sometimes even assist in making people’s last minutes comfortable and allow them to simply die with dignity,” he says.

“It’s amazing how mature he is about what matters in life. For instance, in the initial days of our courtship, I happened to bump his car a bit. There was a scratch. I thought that I’d had it until he calmly asked: Well, no one died, did they?”

The conversation flowed smoothly and the moments passed by seamlessly. Gradually, both realised they were meant to be. They both cherish family, togetherness and relationships. A strong enough base for forever, so to speak. When the good news was passed on to the couple’s parents, they were absolutely over the moon.

However, given the onslaught of Covid-19 and the restrictions that followed thereafter, the ceremony had to be postponed twice. “We are lucky that it finally happened and in such a beautiful, well-organised fashion,” smiles Nikeeta.

Building blocks of a marriage

“I know I speak for both of us when I say it’s all about trust and being each other’s best friend. If you can’t be each other’s bestie and understand each other, what’s the point, honestly?” says Nikeeta. The fact that they are both sensitive to each other’s feelings is a factor. “I get upset that she is upset that I am upset,” grins Nikhil. “We call this extreme sensitivity upset-ception,” he chortles.

And while being tuned into each other’s feelings is a good thing both realise there are times when the best you can do is to let the other person be upset and remain upset until the storm passes naturally.

Though it’s far too early in the day, both enjoy kids and would love a family of their own when the time is right. “We have such lovely parents and families; the perfect people to teach the little ones about tradition and customs and roots,” says Nikhil. “At the end of the day, that’s what keeps you grounded in an ever-changing world.”

Like every couple, they have their ups and downs, but here too, both employ their medicos’ in-built sense of analysis. “Just as we treat a patient by breaking down the problem into tiny bits, it is important to analyse the conflict bit by bit. When you do that, things become simpler. At the same time, the important thing is to keep the bigger picture in mind,” says Nikhil. “Is it going to matter a few months from now? Most likely, the answer is a ‘no.’ That being the case, why to get indignant about it?”

Quality time, especially in the face of Nik’s long hours, is a workout at the gym followed by dinner. “We are very particular about spending some quality “N&N” time together and make it a point to remind the other about it,” says Nikki.

As the duo embarks on the journey of a lifetime, here’s wishing them many more moments.