Being a Role-Model Parent

Parents are not only their children’s first and foremost teachers: they are also the children’s role models and mentors. If you want your child to be exceptional, you must also become exemplary role models. As we all know, children are great imitators

"The mother and the father are the deities whom we know first and foremost,” proclaims a well-known Tamil proverb. Mata, pita, guru, devo-lists a saying from our ancient scriptures placing parents even before God and Guru. Sri Rama who is held up as the Maryada Purushottam-the ideal man of virtue and excellence, among all the avataras of Lord Vishnu-exemplifies what the Puranas call pitru vakya paripaalana i.e. he who fulfils his father’s commands. Maatru devo bhava, pitru devo bhava-your parents are the equivalents of Gods, the Vedas emphasise."

This is indeed a great honour. But this honour is to be earned, not just taken for granted.

Today, many parents complain that their children do not respect them and obey them. I would say to them: “Don’t stop with complaints. Try a little introspection and see where things are going wrong.”

Parents are not only their children’s first and foremost teachers: they are also the children’s role models and mentors. If you want your child to be exceptional, you must also become exemplary role models. As we all know, children are great imitators. They are extremely observant, attentive and sharp, and it is essential that we set a good example before them.

Children look up to their parents as living examples. Teachers and elders tell a boy, “You must not smoke. It is a bad habit and can harm you.” The boy sees his father smoking. He says to himself,

“People tell me smoking is bad, but papa seems to be enjoying it. I think I shall also smoke when I grow up.”

Examples speak louder than words.

The best discipline is self-discipline. Unless parents have self-discipline and self-control, they cannot expect their children to be disciplined.

"Discipline is not merely refraining from bad habits and addictions like smoking, drinking and gambling. It is also a matter of adhering to ethical values and morals in deeds of daily living"

Discipline is not merely refraining from bad habits and addictions like smoking, drinking and gambling. It is also a matter of adhering to ethical values and morals in deeds of daily living. At work, at home and in company, make sure that you never compromise on your principles and values.

Parents should also carry out their daily spiritual practices regularly, before their children. This might be assembling for morning or evening prayers; conducting a brief pooja at home; having a little kirtan session; reading aloud from the scriptures; or just sitting in silent meditation. By carrying out such practices, we emphasise the value of faith, prayer and meditation in the minds of the little ones.

In some families, children are taught to say a few prayers as soon as they learn to speak. While other families teach them to utter the Name Divine. This is one of the best gifts you can give your children. Faith will come to them spontaneously, and the power of the Lord’s Name will stand by them in their darkest hours, and they will surely thank you for bestowing the great gift of Faith on them.

In order to live wholesome, harmonious, meaningful lives, there are other virtues that must be inculcated in children-virtues such as patience, tolerance, compassion, forgiveness and understanding. These virtues cannot be imbibed through sermons or lectures but when they see you practising them, the children will adopt them readily and willingly.

As a parenting expert put it so beautifully, “Open doors for your child. Keep opening doors for them. They may not want to walk through every door you open. But just keep opening new doors and allow them to enter wherever they chose.”

“Remember,” he continues, “love does not spoil a child; too little discipline spoils a child. Love does not mean fostering dependence; or allowing wrongdoing; or showering a child with gifts; or bribing him with rewards to do what he must do; love means building a child’s sense of self-esteem.” So, what are you waiting for? Start today.