Connect to your purpose

If you read the stories in here, and do the activities, over the course of a month, you can literally re-wire how your brain thinks about the adversity in your way, authors Tom Lillig and David Shurna tell Corporate Citizen. Their latest non-fiction book, ‘What’s Within You’ sets out to help readers tackle self-doubt, overcome hurdles, and tap into courage and hope

It is said that the only real opponent you have in life is yourself. And also, the only true ally. It’s important to know whose side you are on. Fingerprint Publishing’s latest non-fiction title, ‘What’s Within You’, by Tom Lillig and David Shurna, sets out to help people break through their self-limiting beliefs. It uses the framework espoused in the authors’ award-winning No Barriers organisation, and includes profiles of well-known people who have gone this route to show how one too can overcome one’s fears and achieve phenomenal success in one’s life’s journey. At the end of the day, what’s within you is stronger than what’s in your way.

Excerpts from an interview with the authors ...

Corporate Citizen: ‘What’s Within You’ aims to help people break through their self-limiting beliefs. How and why did the idea come about?

Tom Lillig: This book is rooted in our twenty-year history at our NGO of working with tens of thousands of people to help them break through the barriers in their lives and connect to their purpose. Ultimately, what we realised and what pushed us to write this book is that there are no books out there that achieve the success of our NGO’s empirical and hands-on approach that has helped so many people reorient their lives toward a larger purpose despite the barriers in their way. We wanted to give everyone in the world the how-to guide to unleashing their potential even in the midst of great adversity.

CC: What lies at the core of ‘What’s Within You’?

David Shurna: To boil it down, this is a book for people who (a) have committed to living a full and meaningful life but are struggling because some barrier has derailed them; or (b) have a gut feeling that there’s a way to live differently - to live a life full of purpose-but they can’t quite put their finger on how to do it.

This is a book about the interplay between purpose and persistence, and how managing to balance these two dichotomies unleashes our fullest potential.

CC: What is the kind of research that went into it?

David Shurna: Over the years, we have worked closely with both external and internal researchers to help evaluate the impact of our NGO’s programmes on our participants. This has provided us with reams of data from these researchers proving the power of all aspects of our model. So, in writing this book, we drew heavily on that research. We also wanted to feature amazing stories of success that required additional background research on the best examples that bring each principle to life. And finally, we know that the ideas in this book are closely tied to ancient wisdom which meant we had to look back into the past to help illuminate these universal human themes.

CC: Were there moments of personal doubt and challenges you went through in your own life, before realisation dawned?

Tom Lillig: Most certainly. We had ups and downs with the businesses we started. We both lost loved ones to tragedy. And we fought with self-doubt about whether our own dreams would be realised.

And, of course, the journey continues. Even with the tools to break through adversity, we go through moments of uncertainty or brief lapses in our own self-confidence. But as you learn the tools in this book, the key is to recognise the early signs that you’re slipping back into that negative space and re-centre yourself on the powerful light inside of you that knows anything is possible.

CC: What are the barriers that typically hold us back in life, as explained in the book?

David Shurna: All of us face challenges in our lives, whether great or small. None of us is immune to struggle. Adversity doesn’t care about race, class, creed or gender. It doesn’t care about where you come from, what your job title is, what abilities or resources you may have. This is a simple fact of life: if you walk this planet, you face challenges on a daily basis.

The next time you’re riding a crowded bus, or waiting in line at the coffee shop, or sitting in the stands at a soccer game, look right and left, you will see people struggling-whether internally or externally-with all kinds of issues in their lives. The person to your right might be struggling in their marriage; or dealing with a difficult co-worker. Perhaps that person is wrestling with body-image issues; or battling an addiction to alcohol. The person to your left might be weathering the recent loss of a parent or child; or coping with the stress of being unable to make rent that month. Many of us fight self-doubt, denial, lack of confidence and depression.

The tools in this book are universally applicable to whatever struggle you’re facing that you sense is holding you back from being your best.

"If you read the stories in here and do the activities, over the course of a month, you can literally re-wire how your brain thinks about the adversity in your way. It sounds crazy but we have seen this happen"

- David Shurna

CC: How can one deal with the crippling issue of self-doubt?

Tom Lillig: So many of us are our worst critics and at times, we all struggle with self-doubt. And our natural tendency when we get into a place of self-doubt is to retreat into ourselves and keep silent. That’s the opposite of what we need to do. Instead, we need to reach out and invite others into our struggle. We call this building a Rope Team, which alludes to the idea that when people climb mountains they rope up together as a lifeline. Your Rope Team, as explained in our book, needs to be there to lend a helping hand in the best and the worst of times. The other thing with self-doubt is to be 100% clear on the vision that you have for yourself in your life. When you have a written Vision that moves you, you can always pick it up and read it to remind yourself that despite a brief dark moment, that powerful light is still inside you that wants to live out that Vision.

CC: How could the book help to bring a complete shift in one’s thought patterns?

David Shurna: That’s exactly what the book is designed to do. If you read the stories in here and do the activities, over the course of a month, you can literally re-wire how your brain thinks about the adversity in your way. It sounds crazy but we have seen this happen with tens of thousands of people over the past 20 years.

CC: In your opinion, what does it take to bring about a sea-change in one’s life?

Tom Lillig: First and foremost, it takes a commitment to go find the space to get away from the noise and chaos of your everyday life to craft a powerful Vision for yourself. For most people, to get the ball rolling, it requires stepping away for 2-3 days in a quiet, restful natural setting and focusing on the Vision concepts described in this book. If you can’t take that much time, it can be an hour a day spread over a week. Next, it takes a single step forward towards that Vision-what we call the Reach. Once you have an initial idea of the Vision of who you want to be in this world, it’s important to realise as Lao Tzu says “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Some of us make grand Visions but never start with a simple step. Simple steps matter because they show us we can make progress towards our Vision slowly but surely. It will be many, many, small steps towards a powerful Vision that will ultimately change your life. But, rest assured, the real change is typically internal. And if you follow these principles for a month, you’ll already feel your entire mindset shift.

CC: Amidst the many self-help books that abound, what would be the USP of ‘What’s Within You’ and make it a genuinely useful guide?

David Shurna: While there is seemingly no end to the number of books and blogs out there that promise a better you or offer quick and easy life makeovers, they often fall short in addressing the full picture. You can find books about purpose, meaning and happiness; and you can find books about how to break through some current adversity you’re facing (addiction, marital problems, financial challenges, etc). But what’s missing is a book that gives you a map to navigate the gap between our idealistic aspirations for a life of purpose and the realistic barriers that get in our way.

CC: Shed light on some of the inspiring profiles in the book.

Tom Lillig: At the start of each chapter, we introduce you to people that we believe exemplify the spirit of one of the elements. You will discover the story of a biophysicist who-driven by the loss of his legs, invented the most technologically advanced prosthetics to date so that he could climb again; or the inspirational account of a wounded veteran who was burned over the majority of his body yet still found a way to transform his outlook from one of suffering to one of joy as he found a career in entertainment. You will read about an aspiring music teacher who lost her hearing in college but went on to experience global success as a singer-songwriter; or a plus-size actress who worked hard to overcome her own body-image issues in order to promote positivity and empowerment for others through dancing and her own television show. And, in a story that defies believability, you will learn about a blind man who followed his passion to climb the tallest mountains in the world and kayak the most challenging rapids.

CC: Do you believe such matters of emotional intelligence need to be taught/inculcated from an early age?

David Shurna: A 100% yes. When we go to school, we are rarely taught the very basics of how to find meaning and purpose in life. And unless we have some early tragedy in our lives, most of us never learn basic skills for handling real challenges. Recent research has shown that having purpose and meaning in life increases your emotional well-being and overall life satisfaction. Having meaning in your life improves your mental and physical health; enhances your resilience and self-esteem, and it decreases your chances of suffering from depression.