A celebration of multiple hues

She’s a Punjabi. He’s a Parsi. Friends of many years turned married couple-theirs is a sweet story of love, acceptance and mutual respect. Over to Juhi Bhatia and Ashad Ghaswala to tell us more.

Despite being born in a Punjabi home, these days Juhi savours the Sali boti and mutton cutlets of her in laws’ home way more. As for Ashad, he’s quite fascinated by the rituals and stories that accompany Karwa Chauth and Lakshmi Poojan.

All in all, a wonderfully positive way to embrace each other-and their respective cultures.

It’s early days of marriage for both, to be sure, considering they’ve just been married 2 years. But the duo has enjoyed long years of camaraderie as their association dates back all the way to 2005-when they first met in junior college.

South Mumbai kids both, friends and neighbours too-and the same age too (32), there clearly has been much to bring them together. Currently residing at Marine Lines, Mumbai with Ashad’s parents and brothers, both are enjoying the pace of home and hearth coupled with careers they enjoy. While Juhi works as a manager with Travel company Tibro, Ashad is working as Manager with HDFC (operations.) Life is hectic but happy as the young couple take assorted experiences and moments in their stride.

Back to the beginning

This story was first scripted in the corridors of Hinduja College of Commerce, Charni Road. Both Juhi and Ashad were pursuing commerce there and knew each other. However, nothing clicked then, despite the presence of several common friends. Perhaps the timing was just not right, perhaps they had to still grow up. “It was only on Juhi’s return from her hotel management course in Chennai that we started meeting up,” recounts Ashad. This time around, there was palpable chemistry. A fun mix of like-minded yet opposite personalities, they complemented each other well. “For starters, we are both social and gregarious. Committed foodies, we love checking out new eateries. What’s more, we both are cleanliness freaks,” grins Juhi. “However, he is calm and composed whilst I am a little more impulsive-so that’s a wonderful balancing factor. The best part, though, is that we share several common interests, especially travel.”

The conversation flowed spontaneously. To begin with, Ashad was clearly enamoured of her pretty looks. But soon he started appreciating her for her open-minded outlook and her understanding, compassionate nature. And just like that they were a couple.

Nevertheless, there were still the families who needed convincing. “Obviously, my parents would have preferred me to marry a fellow Parsi. But once they met Juhi, they were convinced she was The One,” smiles Ashad. Ditto with Juhi’s parents who initially worried about the cultural and religious differences, only to have all doubt put to rest as soon as they met Ashad. “And so, without much of a fuss, we had the blessings of our elders,” says Juhi.

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Communication
• Celebrating differences
• Watching out for one another-and one’s families
• Shared hobbies and values.

Ashad Ghaswala and his significant half Juhi Bhatia

The building blocks of a marriage

Contrary to the popular stereotype that inter-religious matches entail tremendous adjustment and sacrifice, it’s been relatively smooth sailing for both Juhi and Ashad. To begin with, they had a lovely wedding that introduced both families to each other’s cultures. “We had a Parsee ceremony and the Hindu saat pheras-and a court marriage. It was a lovely celebration,” shares Juhi.

Post marriage, she says her in-laws have been warm and supportive, and each day has brought new learnings and surprises to cherish. “See, the thing is that it is quite important to have a positive attitude towards adjustment and acceptance. Whether or not you marry into the same community, there are bound to be changes. So why not accept it gracefully?” says Juhi. “What the new generation needs to realize is that marriage does not happen between two individuals alone but between two families.”

Importantly so, Ashad is quite the supportive husband helping out with household chores and assorted errands. “I love how wonderfully my mother-in-law has brought up her boys,” says Juhi. “They are handy around the house and that’s very helpful indeed.”

Like millions of young couples across the globe, the learnings provided by the pandemic in the early days of marriage were quite hard-hitting yet memorable. “Without a doubt, we learnt about the importance of family, good health and pulling on together in a crisis. It was quite a challenging time since all of us-with the exception of Juhi and my brother-were down with Covid. But the tough time brought us together,” says Ashad.

From strength to strength

Given that they have been married 2 years but dated each other far longer, what according to both, are the cornerstones of marriage? “I would say trust, respect and the recognition that henceforth you are going to have to look at things from the other’s viewpoint. Things can’t always happen your way and that’s ok,” says Juhi. While Ashad would add support and communication to her list. “After a long day’s work, it’s crucial to have a spouse who is supportive and who you can talk to.”

As with every couple, fights happen. “However, what’s key is to talk to each other honestly and openly. No matter what’s on your mind, you must be able to share it with your spouse. At the same time, you must listen to what the other person has to say,” says Ashad. “Above all, don’t let the situation escalate.”

While weekdays are busy for both, weekends are reserved for movies, good food and spending time with family. “The one thing we miss due to the Pandemic-and also the new virus mutant that’s being so avidly reported-is the travel. One day soon, when things are better, we hope to travel and explore new places together,” says Juhi.

Though both Juhi and Ashad are keen to start a family at some point soon, they’re happy to go with the flow for the moment. However, one thing is quite clear is that Juhi will continue to hold on to her career with Ashad’s love and support. “She is quite an independent person and I would absolutely want her to enjoy both work and family,” he rounds off.