Of Trust, Friendship And Shared Dreams

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Kolkata-based couple Subhro Kanti Dey and his significant half Dr Shreya Dasgupta are clearly bitten by the entrepreneurial bug what with them running as many as three startups together. What keeps the energetic pair going is the quest to deliver value on all fronts whilst simultaneously spending quality time together and awaiting parenthood. This is their story and this is how they tell it

When banking professional Subhro Kanti Dey sent a friendship request to microbiologist Shreya Dasgupta on Orkut in 2008, she took her time replying. “I wasn’t at all sure as to whether or not I wanted to entertain it,” she says. Besides, she had her hands full working towards her master’s degree in Microbiology even as was employed in Mumbai. But then he sent her a mail listing all the things that had impressed him about her profile and she noticed his observational prowesses. Still, she delayed replying.

One reason for the deferred response could be her lack of patience with the frivolity of any kind. But when she did reply and they started conversing, she gradually realised that he was sincere about getting to know her further.

Besides, she realised the similarities were the kind that was conducive to a future ahead. “He was ambitious, focused and educated. I always wanted a partner like that as I am like that too,” she says. Besides, he respected her career dreams.

It helped that both were really well educated. She has completed her Masters in Microbiology followed by a PhD. in Microbiology in the CSIR-Indian Institute of Chemical Biology in Kolkata. On his part, he has done his MBA in Finance and a Masters in Marketing Management from the University of Pune.

On his part, he appreciated her education, persistence and the will to excel.

Both agreed to meet for Durga Puja on Subhro’s next visit to Kolkata where his mother lived. “However, it so happened that his mother’s health required him to come earlier than schedule. Despite being unprepared, I was happy to meet him finally,” she adds.

The first meeting cleared most residual doubts. “He was all that he appeared to be, and was transparent and honest,” she says.

With the blessings of both families, the duo were finally engaged. “What followed was a solid three-and-a-half year old courtship that really gave us an opportunity to understand each other,” says Subhro. “Since she wanted to pursue a career in research in Kolkata, I decided to take a transfer there.”

“The one thing that makes you an entrepreneur is the will to deliver value for the clients’ time, money and trust”

- Subhro Kanti Dey

The Mantras Of Marriage

• Respecting dreams
• Sharing goals
• Making adjustments with a smile
• Caring for each other’s family

Subhro Kanti Dey and Dr Shreya Dasgupta

The building blocks of a marriage

Post their wedding in 2011, Shreya moved in with Subhro and his parents without any misgivings whatsoever. “My in-laws are kind, helpful, warm and supportive. It was with their help that I could work at the Indian Institute of Chemical Biology and pursue my doctoral studies, and helped me to fulfil my parent’s dreams to see me graduate as a Doctorate” she says. “Despite the long hours, they were non-interfering and encouraging in every way.”

However, when they visit the ancestral family of the Deys that is 75 km from Kolkata, Shreya makes the “silent adjustment” that is required of a Bengali bahu in a traditional set up. “I guess that’s what family life is about. You give some, you get some,” she smiles.

On his part, Subhro was looking after investments in mutual funds for the Standard Chartered Bank. “Though I enjoyed my work, I had told her from the outset that I wanted to set up my own enterprise and she had agreed to it,” he says. In keeping with his promise to himself, he gave up work and struck out on his own.

To begin with, he set up Money Assist, a mutual funds consultancy that also undertakes AUMs (Assets Under Management), showing clients how to build, grow and fruitfully develop their wealth portfolio, followed by BUSFAM, a website development, creative designing and digital marketing agency based in Kolkata and Pune. The third company the duo run together is Afiliadoz, a payroll management system. Eventually, Shreya decided to join him. “We were expanding base. I needed help and given Shreya’s health issues and our focus on family planning, it made sense for her not to take up a second demand research position and join me instead,” he says. “This way we would spend quality time and her need for regular rest would be taken care of as well.”

The process of running and developing all three startups has been demanding but completely worth it, they say. “The one thing that makes you an entrepreneur is the will to deliver value for the clients’ time, money and trust,” he shares. So be it delivering budgeted websites for small players or ensuring that money invested by clients is put to good use, the duo are laying brick after brick of their joint investment with diligence and care. “That’s how you build your reputation long term,” he says.

While work dominates most conversations, the couple’s quality time together would consist of watching an eclectic mix of Netflix, motivational and funny movies. “Basically, whatever we watch should either make us smile or teach us something,” says Subhro.

What according to them, are the mantras of marriage, given their successful innings of nine years and counting? “I would put a premium on trust,” expresses Shreya. “Love is important, but ultimately trust in your partner is pretty much everything. This includes trusting your partners’ judgments, decision and word,” she says.

On his part, though, Subhro would place friendship at the top of his priority list.” Friendship and companionship are the cornerstones of our marriage,” he says simply,

Like every young couple, this one too has their share of fights, but are particular about following a single rule. “The Golden Rule is never to get angry simultaneously. That always makes things worse, and nothing is ever resolved that way. When one partner is upset, it makes sense for the other one to be quiet and listen,” says Subhro.

Hoping to bring home baby soon

Given Shreya’s medical issues, the duo has taken a considered decision to opt for adoption. Even as they await the baby (“boy or girl-it doesn’t matter”), they are putting their all into work. “You see, we don’t know how long it is going to take. Adoption queues are fairly long and serpentine. What we can do is plan our work in such a way that we will get to spend maximum time with baby when he/she comes,” says Subhro. “Because when that happens, we are both going to participate in the child’s upbringing with equal gusto.”