Of sugar and spice and all things nice

Food entrepreneur and home baker, Chaitrali Sardesai and her significant half Shashank Venkat, a marketing lead at a software firm, believe that a successful marriage is the result of priorities and time management. “Working out Me Time, We Time and Us Time is a constant tight rope walk but the results are worth it,” they say. All the more important since their toddler three and a half-year-old Mirayah got here

Even as Chaitrali Sardesai puts the finishing touches on her orders for the day-a birthday cake and assorted baked goodies and confectionaries - she smiles in satisfaction at having had the courage to follow her dreams-be it in the professional space or in personal. Her six-year-old enterprise “The Cake Charm”, is both a work of heart and heart-and has the full backing of her buddy and husband, Shashank Venkat. After all, he knows all about the importance of pursuing one’s passion. Together, they manage the pressures of work and family, whilst tending to their little girl’s needs.

BACK TO THE BEGINNING

Though the couple studied journalism at Pune’s MIT International School of Broadcasting and Journalism, they have both gone on to explore different professional trips. Nevertheless, there’s nothing quite like a spacious and beautiful college campus to get the romance blooming. This love story was first scripted when Chaitrali, who was a year junior, asked Shashank to help out with a subject that wasn’t quite her forte-the aptly named ‘Current Affairs’. “You see, being amongst the initial batches of the journalism programme of the college, seniors had to set the standard and help the juniors out with notes,” he reminisces. “Since I enjoyed current affairs thoroughly, I was able to help out Chaitrali.”

Though the couple were the quintessential ‘chalk and cheese’ personalities, they found a connect: their love of clear, open-hearted conversation and all things simple. “What I really enjoy about our equation with her is that I can be totally vulnerable with her and share the little things without being judged. That is something highly valuable to share with any other human being,” says Shashank.

On her part, Chaitrali says that the contrast between their personalities was and is a huge plus. “Though we are both outgoing and talkative, I tend to get hyper very quickly. He, on the other hand, is very balanced and rational and takes a calm approach to people and situations,” she says.

The relationship went from strength to strength and marriage was a given. “It made absolute sense to marry my closest buddy,” says Shashank. “We may be completely different individuals but we have similar values when it comes to the big things in life such as marriage, relationships and family bonding.”

Yes, there were cultural differences to be addressed but they weren’t insurmountable. “I am a Maharashtrian brahmin, while he’s a Tamilian brahmin. But there wasn’t a moment’s doubt about sharing our future together, “ says Chaitrali. “Both families have an open-minded outlook towards life. While he’s travelled a lot growing up, so have I. Sure, my family has always been based in Pune but since business took my dad to Indonesia, I remember spending a lot of time in that country. It really helped me evolve a global and inclusive outlook towards life,” she expresses. With the blessings of their families, the duo was wed in a Maharashtrian ceremony in 2014.

"We may be completely different individuals but we have similar values when it comes to the big things in life such as marriage, relationships and family bonding"

- Shashank

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Friendship and communication
• Not allowing fights to linger
• Celebrating differences
• Supporting and respecting each other’s dreams

Two's company; three's family: Chaitrali and Shashank
with baby Mirayah

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF A MARRIAGE

Though Chaitrali started off as a feature writer with Femina, she realised baking was her true calling and decided to pursue it full-time six years ago. In the same span, Shashank has gone from being a journalist to a full-time marketing professional in the software industry as he realised that he enjoyed the whole experience of making people believe in a product or service-through storytelling.

It has pretty much been smooth sailing given that they enjoy a lovely relationship with both sets of parents. “You know, a big deal is made out of cultural differences and adjustments, but in my case, I am blessed with great in-laws. Not once have they questioned my choices or tried to restrict me in anyway. Post-marriage, I continue to spend a lot of time with my parents-and that has not bothered them at all. My mother-in-law and I share a warm and wonderful equation and I can talk to her about the most personal topics. I am very lucky to have her,” shares Chaitrali.

Quality time together consists of Netflix movies and board games. “Though travel is out for the moment on the backdrop of the Covid-19 pandemic, we both love to explore different destinations when the circumstances allow,” says Shashank.

Considering that they’ve been together for over a decade since they met, what according to both, are the pillars of a relationship? “Clear, uncomplicated communication,” says Chaitrali at once. “When you have those difficult chats early, everything falls into place. It is far better than playing guessing games or hyper-ventilating over perceived realities when the truth could be entirely different,” she says.

Shashank, however, cannot stress enough on the importance of never going to bed on a sour note. “Whatever you do, never, ever end the day on a fight. Sort it out with your partner before you retire for the day. When fights linger, everyone and everything suffers-so forgive, forget and move on,” he says.

BRINGING UP THE BABY

The couple’s days are demanding and full, especially with Chaitrali’s baking orders and Shashank’s stint of working from home-and little Mirayah’s needs. "The one thing we both believe in is presenting a united front at all times. Even if we were to differ on a particular matter, like say, the amount of screen time she ought to be allowed, we never argue in front of her," says Shashank.

Apart from this, both believe in exposing her to assorted cultural influences. “We speak to her in Marathi, Tamil, English and Hindi as the knowledge of multiple languages is great for the little one’s brain development,” he says. To that end, both sets of parents make it a point to read to her and open up the wonderful world of stories to her.

“It is rather tough to manage everything, especially, when it’s the peak season during festivals and weddings. But a working mother leads to an independent and considerate baby,” says Chaitrali.

And so, the hectic but happy little family, takes on each day with hope, vigour and happiness!