The magic of music & togetherness

Music is not just the food of life, it is also the magnet that brings people closer. Corporate professionals turned full-time musicians Tamir Khan and his significant half Krutika Lele would agree

Companionship and compatibility, say the old and the wise, are not always to be found between those from identical cultural backgrounds or even those who share an age gap deemed “respectable” by society. When your spirits connect, everything else falls in place. Tamir Khan and Krutika Lele would agree-all the more since their shared love for music was a profound connector.

BACK TO THE BEGINNING

This love story was first scripted when Krutika, a Maharashtrian girl and music student from Madhya Pradesh chose to intern with a leading radio station in Pune. Her commitment to music impressed her boss enough to introduce her to his good friend Tamir Khan who was equally passionate about hitting the high notes. The ‘tuning’ was instantaneous and the conversation flowed, smoothly and easily. Their considerable age gap hardly seemed to make a difference to their equation. Nor did the difference in backgrounds-he’s an army brat who’s travelled all over the country and a Muslim. She’s the youngest and only daughter of a fairly traditional Maharashtrian joint family from MP. He’s done his MBA while she’s studied classical music from the Gwalior Gharana. On the face of it, they were not the couple to be hanging out together but then it never does to judge the future of any relationship so superficially.

“Our connect was just so hassle-free. I was amazed by how sorted, mature and reasonable she happened to be, despite her lack of years. She has a way of handling life and relationships in a harmonious, hassle-free way and that is something I hugely admire about her,” expresses Tamir.

On her part, she loved his spontaneity, his free-spiritedness, his ability to tell like it is. “Unlike me, he does not have these five-year-goals and lives life in the moment. Such an ability to accept life as it comes is hugely important in an artist,” she says.

The friendship went from strength to strength, with Tamir choosing to follow Krutika to Mumbai for professional pursuits. The romance was a given.

So, who proposed to whom? “Whilst we were dating, it was he who took the lead. But I was the one who proposed marriage formally with a ring and all the trimmings at Aksa beach in Mumbai,” grins Krutika.

He accepted, and for that matter, so did his family. “As I said I am from a fauji home and we are pretty much open to love matches. My parents were absolutely fine with it,” shares Tamir.

It wasn’t that easy for Krutika. Both the religious difference and age gap bothered her parents until they met Tamir. “It took me the longest time to convince them to meet him at least once. I knew that once they met him, they would be at ease. After all, what’s not to like about him ? I was totally confident about my choice.”

Though disagreeable at first, Krutika’s long-standing reputation as a reasonable and far-from-obstinate soul, made her parents review their stance. “They met him and completely took to him-as I knew they would,” she smiles.

The duo were finally wed in a civil ceremony in 2018 followed by a fun evening of feasting and partying. “Neither of us is particularly religious. But it was absolutely important for us to have the blessings of both our families, which we did manage to achieve,” says Tamir.

"We love to explore the country by car. Just recently, for instance, we spent two months on the road driving across the length and breadth of three states"

- Tamir

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• A shared passion
• Respect
• Understanding
• Celebrating differences

Travel and togetherness: Tamir and Krutika

THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF A MARRIAGE

Post-marriage, the couple has set up a base in Pune where Tamir’s parents live post-retirement. Though they have a nuclear set up, their flat is in the same building as his parents'.

As of now, both are on the verge of making a complete career shift. While Tamir just left his job with Bookmyshow.com, Krutika too believes that her days as a senior executive with MTV are close to an end. “You see, music needs that kind of time and effort and commitment. If one is serious about growing musically-as we both are-nothing less than a full-time effort will do,” she says.

It helps that both are gradually finding their feet and audience. Be it their jamming sessions on Instagram or assorted gigs across town, they are doing interesting work. “With lockdown, especially, we started doing a lot of virtual gigs and that has been a wonderful experience,” shares Tamir.

Given the fact that they are married after a long courtship and know what it takes to keep a relationship on an even keel, what according to both are the building blocks of a marriage? “Love, of course, has to be there. But understanding is what makes everything fall in place. That, and trusting each other implicitly,” expresses Tamir. On her part, Krutika would root for respect and trust. “Respecting each other’s individuality is at the heart of everything,” she says.

Like every couple, both have their way of managing fights and the fallouts, thereafter. “I am the kind who would get over an argument in a matter of hours. Krutika, however, takes her time to recover,” he says.

“But honestly, no fight stretches on too much as we are both way too used to each other’s company. The lockdown, especially, brought us very close. There’s hardly a day when we aren’t together. So whatever the source of conflict, it pales before our need to be connected,” says Krutika.

Quality time consists of practising music and travelling. “We love to explore the country by car. Just recently, for instance, we spent two months on the road driving across the length and breadth of three states,” he says. “Our trips happen spontaneously; one fine day, I say: come on, let’s get going and she is game for it,” he says.

Clearly, the adjustment post-shaadi hasn’t been that tough-despite the so-called cultural divide. “My reality is very different from people’s perception of my life,” says Krutika wryly. “Contrary to popular belief, I neither wear a burkha and nor have I changed my identity. Far from that being the case, it is Tamir who is hugely conscious about a woman’s right to keep her name and individuality post-marriage. He is supportive, encouraging and makes it clear that I don’t need his ‘permission’ to follow a particular course of action,” she laughs.

BRINGING UP BABY (NOT QUITE YET!)

“Honestly speaking, we aren’t ready for a family,” says Tamir bluntly. “As of now, it’s all about following our dreams, spending time together and making great music.”

Krutika would agree. “A child is a huge responsibility and we don’t believe in having one as a rite of passage. I don’t know tomorrow, but for now, it’s just the two of us and our music,” she rounds off.