Love Is Growing Together

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Reinvention is the mantra for progress, not just at work but also in a marriage. Pune-based media person Debarati Palit Singh and her significant half, Suraj Singh, senior marketing professional, share the hows and whys of it. Their two-year-old daughter Saija completes the picture

The recent lockdown on the backdrop of the worldwide pandemic brought tough lessons in its wake. Debarati and Suraj Singh were no exceptions, managing to walk the tightrope between work and home whilst getting used to the never- before pace of the Zoom calls. If that were not enough, their toddler had to stay back at Debarati’s hometown in faraway Cuttack, Odisha, with her grandparents.

“It was the hardest time ever. But it taught us a thing or two about resilience and positivity,” expresses Debarati. “Saija had gone with my parents back home for a month or two but when the lockdown was announced, there was no way they could get to Pune in time. There was no choice but to just accept the situation for what it was.”

In the meantime, the couple chose to make the most of the time by reskilling themselves. “We did course after course online and via correspondence. The studies and certification were a refreshing detour and opened a whole new window to the future,” says Suraj. “At the same time, we learnt to manage by ourselves and motivate the other during tough moments of which there were quite a few. The housework also brought its own lessons, and they were just as valuable. As a result, when we do get back to the real world, we will do so with renewed strength and ability to take on whatever comes our way,” he adds.

Back To The Beginning

The duo first met at Pune’s Indira Group of Institutes in 2004. Debarati had travelled all the way from Cuttack to study Mass Communication while Suraj was away from his home in Uttar Pradesh to pursue a course in management. They met through a common friend and got talking.

From the outset, the conversation flowed easily and spontaneously. Suraj says, ‘he was floored by two things, her simplicity and complete lack of pretence, not to forget her beautiful, flowing tresses’. Convinced that she was The One, he proposed to her.

On her part, though, Debarati needed time to think things over. “I wasn’t quite looking for a relationship back then. Instead, I was focused on making a career for myself and completing my degree successfully.”

She would go on to review her stance in the course of her subsequent internship with a media house in Kolkata. “I discovered that I really missed him. Therefore, I gave him a call and asked him if he was serious about making a commitment to each other. He affirmed that he was.”

Neither set of parents had any issues despite the different cultural backgrounds (She’s a Bengali from Odisha, while he hails from UP) and they were duly wed in 2009.

The Mantras Of Marriage

• Sharing moments, good and bad
• Dividing responsibilities
• Accepting differences

"Look at things from the other person’s point of view. Try to understand where they are coming from. Put ‘WE’ before ‘ME’ and everything will fall into place”"

- Suraj

The love in his family flows strong and deep, just like the
roots of a apple tree.

The Building Blocks Of A Marriage

Both their work profiles comprised a fair amount of travel and long working hours given that Debarati was a lifestyle and entertainment journalist until recently, and Suraj, a busy marketing professional. However, the couple makes it a point to spend quality time watching movies, discussing politics and cooking up a storm together. “We are both heavily into following the politics in the country and discuss the same each chance we get. Also, Suraj has recently started taking an interest in the preparation and serving of food. As a result, we watch a lot of YouTube recipes and replicate the same,” says Debarati.

How easy has it been to adjust to each other given the differing food habits and rituals in a Bengali versus North Indian household?

“Well certainly, we have different ways of doing things. But my in-laws have never judged me on my know-how of poojas and rituals. Instead, they are encouraging, accommodating and helpful,” says Debarati. “They understand that I am working and never make a fuss over the food on the table. These little things go a long way in st rengthening bonds.”

Like every marriage, this one has its ups and downs too. “The trick is for one person to stay calm and step back a bit when the other is upset,” says Suraj. “The lockdown brought home the fact more strongly than ever before. We understood anew that we were a team, and therefore, responsible for each other.”

It helped that both shared the burden of the housework. While one person cooked, the other cleaned. “This helped us manage the demands of work from home and keep it all together,” says Debarati.

As of now, Debarati is working as senior digital and content manager for an educational startup—Team Maestros, while Suraj is Head- Marketing & Admission, Central and West India, Ramachandran International Institute of Management, Pune.

So what would they term as the cornerstone of marriage after a decade of being married? “Selflessness,” they say.

“Look at things from the other person’s point of view. Try to understand where they are coming from. Put ‘WE’ before ‘ME’ and everything will fall into place,” adds Suraj.

Bringing Up Baby

Given Saija’s recent return from her grandparents’, she won’t let her parents out of sight. Understandable and natural, but for the most part, the kid is happy go lucky and independent. Ask them about their parenting mantras and Debarati confesses with a grin that they are “obsessive parents. What that basically means is that she is the centre of our world, and we keep discussing as to what she is going to make of her life in the days to come, her likes, dislikes and interests,” says Debarati. “But jokes apart, we will be quite chilled out and let her follow her heart, no matter what she takes up.”