It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
As Yogesh and Kirti Unde celebrate a decade of togetherness, here’s to the power of free-flowing conversation to keep a relationship alive and vibrant. Alongside that, Yogesh’s turn as an entrepreneur is bearing dividends even as his training and personality development centre Lakshya Gurukul is going strong in its seventh year. While Kirti is balancing home and hearth with her work as a provisional graphologist. Two kids Aaheli (over seven years) and Ekansh (over three years) complete the picture
In an era that marvels over the archetypal notion of romance, opposites attracting and all, here’s a story that is instead, about the power of shared values and like empowering like.
In their mid-30s now, both Yogesh and Kirti have much in common-their shared Maharashtrian roots, early years of struggle, a love of dance, motivational programmes and a strong belief in entrepreneurship. Both grew up in Ahmednagar but did not spend much time until the final year of graduation that too, just a little before the exams. “As it so happened, I was pursuing a double degree at the time - a BSc as well as an external BA, all the better to pursue my MPSC exams,” reminisces Yogesh. “A common friend introduced me to Kirti, saying she would help me with notes.”
From the outset, they got on famously. Both had to work their way up - Kirti who had lost her father early on was in earn and learn mode, while Yogesh went to join the State Bank of India. “I found her to be a hugely self-reliant, strong girl who was funding herself through college-something I admire. At the same time, she is a complete family person. A winsome combination indeed,” says Yogesh.
On her part, Kirti admired the fact that he had the power to dream and work towards them. Hard working and focused to a fault, she recounts an incident when he mortgaged a gold coin gifted to him, just to be able to attend a motivational seminar. “From the outset, he was fascinated by the domain of personality development, public speaking and motivation.
He made it a point to attend every good programme, whenever he could, in the hope, that one day, he would strike out in the same direction. Well, he certainly did that,” she says.
Given the similarities and shared backgrounds, their families were happy to see them bound in matrimony
Post-marriage, the couple lives in Pune, along with Yogesh’s parents. “We are both firm believers in the joint family system where different generations benefit from each other’s company,” says Yogesh. “In fact, it wasn’t even an issue with Kirti. From the first day itself she was clear on not wanting to separate a son from his parents on the premise that one day, she would have children too and wish to be treated fairly in her old age”, he adds.
While Yogesh worked with the State Bank of India, Kirti completed her teacher’s training and worked as a pre-primary teacher at Leapbridge International school (Aundh, Pune), a stint she found most useful and rewarding.
Things could have continued on the same even keel, but the need to start his own institute was too strong and Yogesh decided to strike out on his own. To her credit, Kirti was most encouraging, despite being three months pregnant at the time with their first child. “Our families were concerned about the fact that he had traded the security of a job with the rough and tumble of self-employment. But I had full confidence in his abilities,” she says.
And sure enough, Lakshya Gurukul has slowly but steadily come into its own, through its motivational programmes, developmental seminars, workshops dedicated to different aspects of personality development and more.
The couple that talks to each other, stays togetherIt is precisely this mutual confidence in each other that is the backbone of the relationship. That, and the willingness to adjust. “Despite the fights we used to have early on in the marriage, we always had a strong connect. What’s more, whatever the situation, both of us have chosen to adjust and help each other through it,” she says.
At the crux of it all, is a deep-rooted friendship. “I always believe that a couple needs to look at each other as human beings first, instead of slotting each other as ‘man’ and ‘woman’ and then glorifying the differences. At the end of the day, your spouse is a person, just like you and has a need to be taken care of,” says Yogesh.
Kirti chips in that he has certainly taken care of her. “He is hugely caring; so much so, that post-marriage, he is my closest confidante. Truth be told, it is no exaggeration to say that ever since he entered my life, I have never felt the lack of a father or strong paternal presence in my life. It is a most reassuring thing to be sure,” she says.
I always believe that a couple needs to look at each other as human beings first, instead of slotting each other as ‘man’ and ‘woman’ and then glorifying the differences
-Yogesh
Celebrating a decade of togethernessAs of today, even as Yogesh is busy with Lakshya Gurkul, Kirti has completed her qualification in graphology or the science of handwriting analysis. This, she says, allows us to work from home, at her own pace, in keeping with the requirements of their little ones - Aaheli (over seven years) and Ekansh (over three years).
Like every couple, both have their unique parenting style. While Kirti is the stricter parent and also the disciplinarian, Yogesh keeps the balance with his relaxed, easy going stance.
Despite the difference in approach, both are particular about respecting the child’s individuality. “Thanks to the fact that we run a training centre, we come across many parent-child equations. We are both aware of the conflicts that tend to crop up between parents and children due to the burden of over-expectations and the outcome of it all. Youngsters have their own views, and those need to be respected as well. We try to learn from the same,” says Kirti.
Thus, while academics are important, the overall development is even more so. “Books, respect for elders, as well as a sense of managing money - all of this is important to a child’s personality,” elaborates Yogesh. “Aaheli, for instance, has her own piggy bank in which she saves money for different purposes-one section for her SIPS, one for fun, books and games, and one to donate money to orphans. This way, she gets a good notion of her responsibilities towards herself and the world around,” adds Yogesh.
“It’s very simple really. All we do is talk,” says Kirti. “It doesn’t matter what we do-whether it’s movies, dinner with close friends or an outing to the green outskirts of the city. Any excuse is good enough to just talk to each other...ten years into our marriage, we still have not run out of things to say to each other and Thank God for that!” she rounds off.
By Kalyani Sardesai
