Love that great leveler

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Married for four years, Pune-based dentist Dr Sanket Patil and his significant half Chaitalee, a civil engineer employed with ThyssenKrupp as a designer, are unfazed by the nine-year-gap between them. After all, when shared values and similar goals lead the way, any other difference is little more than a mere detail

It isn’t every day that the time-tested security of the arranged marriage route leads to love. Especially when the arranged route didn’t work out. But in their case it did. And they are only too glad that they took their chances and followed their hearts.

As it happened, dentist Sanket Patil and Chaitalee met at a Vadhu Var Melava (a gathering that brings together prospective brides and grooms on a single plat-form), organised for the Maratha community.

“I had just graduated and was not terribly interested in marriage. But mom convinced me that it would take a couple of years anyway, so what did I have to lose?” shares Chaitalee.

That’s how the unusually tall and willowy girl caught Sanket’s eye. “Since we are both tall, it was easy to spot each other from a distance and get talking. We did have a connection, and it looked promising. But one mention of the age difference and her mother rejected any prospects between us, outright,” he says.

However, the nagging feeling remained that it was a mistake to let go of a person on grounds of the age difference, remained. “I believe that mutual chemistry, education, values, goals and dreams are great unifiers, and I wanted to know her better,” he says.

A Facebook request was duly sent and accepted. The conversation followed, smoothly and seamlessly. To their delight, there was much to bind them. “We had similar hobbies and out-looks on life and gelled well. She was, however, concerned that marriage to me would mean that she would be pressurised by the family into having children really soon. I promised her that I would support her in pursuing her dreams,” he said.

One thing led to another. Chaitalee happened to be visiting her uncle in Pune and met Sanket as well. “We got on fine. I was myself with him, and he quite liked that,” she shares.

The friendship went from strength to strength

“She is frank and straightforward. I really admire those qualities,” says Sanket. On her part, Chaitalee admires him for his thoughtfulness and maturity. “I am spontaneous and impulsive. So it’s great that my partner is someone who puts thought into his words and actions,” she laughs. “We complement each other well.”

The duo decided to take things forward and convinced the parents to meet. “While they did know that we were going to meet the girl we had met at the vadhu var melava, they had no idea that we were such close friends,” says Sanket.

But the cat did manage to get out of the bag and how! The families were supposed to meet at Sanket’s sister’s home. As he made himself comfortable with his dad and brother by his side, the phone rang. The letters read nice and bright on the screen. “Chaitu.” Naturally, everyone froze. Err, wasn’t this supposed to be a formal meeting? So what did it mean to have her name saved in that familiar, affectionate way?

Red-faced, Sanket came out with it and confessed that he and Chaitalee knew each other pretty well. That they were friends and more.

“Luckily, everything fell into place, and we were duly wed in Feb 2016,” he says.

The building blocks of a marriage

Since their nuptials, the duo have been living by themselves in Pune’s Kothrud area. As far as Chaitalee goes, it has been quite an initiation into adulthood and responsibility but she is glad for it.

“Post-marriage, I moved from Pune to Jalgaon and looked for a suitable job. It was quite a struggling period for both of us as he had set up his independent practice as well,” she reminisces. Slowly but surely, each step led to a higher step: she found better prospects and he began doing well too. “It has been very, very satisfying to build everything together without parental support. Every little thing, be it a household item or a vacation we save painstakingly for, is an important aspect of our journey together. And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she says.

Despite their hectic schedules and long hours, work-life balance is a priority with both of them. To that end, both share household duties. “It could be that I am stuck at work. He cooks then,” she says. “Naturally, when you have a partner who is willing to do his bit, things become easier.”

Four years later, the learnings for both of them are simple but solid. “Marriage is essentially about caring for your partner and doing things that make them happy. For eg: I have zero interest in fashion, but window shopping for pretty dresses makes her happy, so where’s the harm in going along with that ?” he smiles.

Similarly, Chaitalee is happy to listen to the medical details of his latest case-though she admits that she doesn’t understand a thing. “But I make it a point to pay attention. It is important to be able to give a listening ear to your partner even if the subject isn’t your thing at all,” she says.

Sure, they have their fights and tiffs, given that both are hot tempered. “But honestly, till date, there hasn’t been any great, ground-shaking argument. We both believe in letting the other person cool off before talking about why we are angry. Either way, it is crucial not to let the fight spill on to the next day,” expresses Sanket.

“We both believe in letting the other person cool off before talking about why we are angry. Either way, it is crucial not to let the fight spill on to the next day”

- Sanket

The mantras of marriage

• Shared dreams
• Building things together
• Listening to one’s partner
• Sharing responsibilitiesbe it bills or chores

Of shared dreams and mutual goals

Interestingly, it was through Sanket that she got the idea of entering the Diva pageant’s Mrs India Empress of the Nation contest. “She is tall and lovely and graceful. Plus, she’s intelligent and carries herself well. So I asked her to go all out and do what she could to use the platform,” says Sanket.

Despite the hard work and rough schedule, Chaitalee won the contest. “It has given me a wonderful platform to pursue modelling, something I had been exposed to thanks to the fact that my mother would participate in fashion shows. I understood the grace and poise and confidence were non-negotiable aspects of it and worked on myself,” she says.

As of today, she is managing her work and modelling assignments with aplomb. “Modelling is a wonderful opportunity to reach out to more people. Growing up in an academically inclined home, I didn’t have much time or space to pursue it, but if more doors open in the days to come, why not ?”

Having ‘The’ talk

Like most couples, they are keen to start a family a few years from now. One thing is clear though. Chaitalee is a career girl and intends remaining thus. “Be it, my mother, or my sisterin- law, I have learnt that it’s very much possible to manage work and baby with planning and commitment. I might take a break if needed, but that’s it,” she says.

“Whatever her decision, I will support her all the way,” rounds off Sanket.