Tackling Workplace Ego

When egos are in check, we can focus on the task and concentrate on goals that matter. We can approach people for help without feeling insecure; we can offer help without being afraid of being exploited

Every relationship is unique and special. Parents, spouses, children, family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, superiors, subordinates, employers or employees every relationship needs to be nurtured with understanding and patience.

The secret of successful relationships is to be found in an understanding heart. Preferably, your own!

Most of us spend well over two-thirds of our waking hours at the workplace. Today, the working environment has become a tough, stress-filled competitive arena. There is a lot of talk about teamwork, but in reality, the team spirit is lacking. When there is a lack of harmony between colleagues and a strained relationship with the superior officer, the workplace becomes a battleground!

Not only does this lead to what we call 'Monday morning blues' or a reluctance to return to work after the weekend, it is also bad for business, bad for the organisation. When colleagues and superiors start to play the game of one-upmanship, productivity and organisational goals take a beating.

When egos are kept in check, we can focus on the task at hand and concentrate on goals that matter. We can approach people for help without feeling insecure, we can offer help without being afraid that we will be exploited.

Some years ago, I met a successful businessman who told me that the secret of his success was that he had gone ahead and hired employees who were smarter and more intelligent than him; he actually made this remark in the presence of his subordinate employees, whom he was introducing to me. This attitude reveals his trust and the level of confidence he has in his people.

Of course, disagreements are bound to happen at the workplace. It is not always possible for us to be 'nice' in a superficial way; brainstorming is done; options are thrashed out; pros and cons are discussed; in such a situation, feelings are not always considered; or at best, they are considered irrelevant.

But I feel it is possible to disagree politely. You can reject another's viewpoint without being rude or aggressive. You can take into account all suggestions and strive for a consensus. You can look at the issues dispassionately without letting personality clashes impede the outcome. Experts call this being solution oriented rather than problem-focused.

"Being polite, listening to your people is not a sign of weakness but shouting others down definitely is!"

“Let's focus on the product and not the people,” a business leader is quoted as saying. I would not agree with that view. People are the ones who make or mar, sell or pull-down products. When you have built up a team based on mutual respect, trust, friendship and a sense of belonging, you can give and take criticism in the right spirit. I have come across many young people who have told me personal stories of being insulted, humiliated, demeaned and even yelled at by their superiors in the workplace. I cannot help feeling sad when I hear this. I believe it is possible for all of us to be firm and strict and impose discipline without being rude and angry and using harsh words or shouting at the top of our voice! What can we hope to gain by demoralising the people who work for us?

Ego driven people can be destructive influences in the workplace. Their presence, their actions, their words and their attitude poison the work environment for everyone. When employees feel unappreciated and undervalued, they cannot give their best. While it is healthy to have differences of opinion, it is most unhealthy to have slanging matches and ego clashes.

A management expert was asked, ' 'What is the reason for ego clashes at the workplace?" His answer was disturbing. "Fundamentally, we are a species of animal, and we will indulge in conflict.”

It is for us to decide whether we must stay at that level or evolve towards higher forms of existence.

And finally, a word for ego-driven superiors: you don't always have to be right. You must not take offence for the least reason. You may make mistakes and it is perfectly alright to admit the same. You don’t have to undermine or insult others to prove your superiority. If you attempt to control others beyond a point, you will only exhaust them and drive them away.

Being polite, listening to your people is not a sign of weakness but shouting others down definitely is! Bullying or bulldozing your employees is not a sign of strength, but encouraging them to have a sense of belonging and allowing them to be happy people is!