Against all odds

Five years later, the happiness has only grown with the addition of a third little one to their existing brood of two. And even as Roama wins the titles of Mrs India Glamorous 2019 as well as ‘Glutone Face of the Year 2019, she is a firm believer in the importance of looking beneath the surface: be it at life or even our notions of beauty.

Love, it is said, has a way of creeping up on you when you’re least expecting it to show up. Something similar happened in the case of single mom Roama Tripathi Sharma. And despite enumerating every reason to her admirer, as to why they should not marry, Sandeep Sharma came up with the winning argument: they were happy together and that’s why they ought to marry

There are love stories and there is this love story. A romance so heartwarming as to affirm one's faith in the power of human emotion, and yes, marriage, for all the right reasons.

Truth be told, single mom Roama Tripathi Sharma was not looking for either love or marriage. Even as she had distanced herself from her previous abusive tryst with the institution, she simply wanted to focus on her work and two daughters-Vanshikha (known at home as Khushi) and Angel (thus named for her Christmas-time birth.)

"My first marriage was a child marriage," she says bluntly. "Married at 16, as is the way in several traditional homes of UP, I had little say in the matter, and was expected to put up with my lot."

Except that the lady had a mind of her own: academically inclined from the beginning, she decided to complete her graduation via correspondence before doing a course in ECCE (Early Childhood and Care Education), a qualification that would help her train pre-school trainers.

What's more, even before her first marriage unravelled, she had the foresight to get a job as well as invest in a home. "I worked my way up to a senior position in a jewellery firm that sold certified diamond jewellery," she says. "I held on to it, despite the fact that working women are frowned upon in our community and married women, still expected to don the ghoonghat".

The workplace, therefore, was where she met Sandeep Sharma, a banker by profession.

"He had come to the office to discuss some work related matter. Gradually, the friendship progressed and we became each other's confidantes," reminisces Roama.

A shy and reserved young man, Sandeep was deeply fascinated by her confidence, intelligence and innate courage. "She has such a wonderful understanding of life and people," he says. "No matter what the situation, she can face it with dignity and courage. "

He proposed to her only to have her refuse. For starters, she wanted to concentrate on her kids; secondly, such a marriage would be frowned upon given their similarly conservative backgrounds. (He is a brahmin from Rajasthan, while she too, hails from a priestly home in UP.)

Last, but not the least: he was three years younger. But his dedication and sincerity, not to mention his commitment to her daughters, won her over.

All hell broke loose at both ends. "My parents told me they wouldn't be able to face society again. As for his parents, they wanted to have nothing to do with me: a divorcee with two girls to boot," says Roama wryly.

"Basically, everyone thought that I was smitten by her considerable beauty, which was an infatuation that would wear off," smiles Sandeep. "But that was far from the truth. She is a very intelligent and capable woman, at the same time, humane, family-oriented and loving. Simply put, she possessed all the qualities I had ever wanted in my partner."

To drive home the point, he tattooed her name on the left side of his chest before proposing marriage to her. "In short, she was and is the woman of my dreams," he says.

Surely, a strong enough reason to go ahead even without their parents in attendance. "Despite this, we had a lot of support from friends and colleagues who believed in our right to happiness," says Roama.

"When we come back from work, we switch our mobiles off and it’s family time all the way. We both like to be hands on as parents and talk to our children, in a way that gives them the confidence that no matter what"

- Sandeep

Roama and Sandeep with their youngest daughter Veronica

THE PILLARS OF A MARRIAGE

• Mutual respect and understanding
• Open channels of communication
• Sharing the responsibilities of parenting
• Acceptance

The building blocks of a marriage

Currently based in Malad, Mumbai, the couple is blessed with three children: Vanshikha (19), Angel (10) from Roama's first marriage and their youngest girl Veronica who is now four.

Professionally speaking, Sandeep is Cluster Head for HDFC Securities, while Roama is a freelance ECCA trainer.

The mutual respect that the couple share is palpable. "Since all three of our children are girls, it is important for them to have a strong and positive female role model, and they have that in Roama. She is independent, upright and charts her own course. Like her, they want to be trainers and strongly believe in the power of education," says Sandeep.

On her part, Roama says she is thrilled to have a partner who has accepted her for who she is. "This is hugely important to me because my early years were devoted to making others happy," she says. " I was the ideal woman, until such time as I decided to live on my own terms; then suddenly, I was the worst person possible," she shakes her head at the difficult memory”. Amidst the relentless criticism we faced for on marriage, the fact that he was proud of me and loved me just as I was, gave me a lot of strength," she expresses.

She also lauds him for being a thorough gentleman and a huge support system. "I can multitask because he is so helpful. An excellent cook, he not only helps with the household chores but is a wonderful dad to the girls," she says. "In fact, he is the best dad, partner and son, possible. Few men are this compassionate and caring."

Apart from being an ECCEd trainer, she is a phonics teacher, an dance, art and craft teacher and a social worker who was recently awarded the Prerna Awards for her contribution to the field of education.

Despite her busy schedule, Roama decided to participate in the forthcoming Mrs India pageant held by Diva pageants. "Both Sandeep and our older daughter Vanshikha were encouraging. As for me, I wanted to participate because I wanted to stand up for a cause I believed in: building a personality that goes beyond the parameters of weight and outward appearance. Her confidence, charm and beauty won over the judges even as she was crowned Mrs India Glamorous 2019 apart from winning the title of Glutone Face of the Year 2019. This was a turning point, especially with her in-laws. "My family, back home in Rajasthan, has realised that I have made a wise choice in her. It isn't just her beauty but also her poise and intellect that has won her the crown," says Sandeep. "Plus she is loving and caring, and that is seen in different ways."

Parenting done right

As of now, life is hectic but happy, even as the couple manages work and life with aplomb and dexterity. "When we come back from work, we switch our mobiles off and it's family time all the way. We both like to be hands on as parents and talk to our children at length and communicate in a way that gives them the confidence that no matter what, their parents have their backs," says Sandeep. Age appropriate freedom and the space to explore things for themselves is something the couple strongly believes in.

Unlike other newlyweds, they had to get a grip on their respective tempers and focus on responsible expression early on, considering that there were two little girls watching. "At the end of the day, we want them to share their choices with us and know that we love them," rounds off Sandeep.