Keeping the beat together

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Married for four years, technical writer Purva Sambhus Mavle and QA Analyst, Ketan Mavle, believe it’s the little things that actually add up to the big things in life as well as in marriage

Ketan and Purva believe in the power of honesty and
never giving up on each other, come what may

They met in that most Puneri of ways at a vajra dhol pathak (drummer’s group). She was one of the participants where he was one of the instructors. “Back in 2011, it was the first batch to accept girls (the dhol being traditionally seen as a male instrument) and I wanted to make the most of it,” reminisces Purva. But even as she learnt to keep the beat, little would the two of them dream that life would end up imitating art (or music, in this case.) “We were only friends at that point. However, sometime around 2013 we got talking and realised that we had a lot in common,” she says.

The conversation flowed, easily and seam-lessly, and thereby started a wonderful, new inning. No there wasn’t any dramatic proposal, or any grand declarations of romantic emotion, given both their matter of fact temperaments. Just a gradual discovery that they meant more to each other than just being friends. “He is a man of very few words, so I had to ask him if he felt the same way. And he said yes,” she says.

Her parents were concerned though. “Though we are both Maharashtrian, we belong to different castes. I am a brahmin, he is not. They were worried about the adjustment but they are basically reasonable and moderate folks. And with a little effort, we were able to convince them that we knew what we were doing,” she says

“Mostly weekdays are just work, gym and routine activities with little time for anything else. Weekends are for treks and dinners. We also make it a point to travel to a different place either in India or abroad during our anniversary week”

- Ketan

The Mantras of Marriage

• Supporting each other
• Having common hobbies
• Being truthful and open
• Sharing responsibilities

The building blocks of a marriage

While pulp fiction is full of OTT stories about ‘opposites attract’ real life works a little differently. The duo are just different enough to be complementary and similar enough to gel with ease. “We both enjoy trekking and the outdoors, apart from sharing an abiding love of Marathi culture and literature,” says Ketan. Besides, both are engineers. (She has studied electrical engineering, followed by a MTech in Energy, while he is a mechanical engineer now working in software.)

Post marriage, they are living with Ketan’s parents

So how much of a challenge has it been to adjust given the slight inter-cultural differences? “Well, it hasn’t been easy and it hasn’t been tough,” says a candid Purva. “But both Ketan and my in-laws are reasonable and non-interfering so even when little things crop up, they don’t really take centre stage.”

Rooted in a long standing friendship that gradually evolved over time, the marriage is all the stronger for it. The mutual respect is palpable too. “Purva is understanding and caring. What’s more, she has a sense of occasion and responsibility and knows what’s on my mind without having to spell it out,” says Ketan.

On her part, Purva values his sincerity and straightforward approach in life. “He’s someone you can count on at the end of the day,” she says.

“Both Ketan and my in-laws are reasonable and non-interfering, so even when little things crop up, they don’t really take centre stage”

- Purva

Ketan and Purva enjoy trekking and
the outdoors as well as travel

From strength to strength

As things stand, their schedules are hectic given that she’s a technical writer with SAS R&D, while he is a QA Analyst with PTC software. But work-life balance is, nevertheless, doable. “Mostly weekdays are just work, gym and routine activities with little time for anything else. Weekends are for treks and dinners. We also make it a point to travel to a different place either in India or abroad during our anniversary week,” says Ketan.

Like with every couple, fights happen. “Both of us are short-tempered,” grins Purva. “So yes, there is shouting and yelling.”

“But we have both realised that the trick is to let the storm pass, give each other enough time to cool down, address the issue and move on,” says Ketan.

Considering they just completed their fourth anniversary, what are their learnings about marriage? “See, there will be good days and bad days,” says Purva. “There will even be days when you don’t want to even look at each other. It’s normal, it happens. But at the end of the day, one must never, ever give up on each other. Believe in each other, believe in marriage and work towards the things you believe in.”

Ketan, on the other hand, recommends the sheer power of honesty. “Be truthful, come what may,” he says. “Even if your honesty causes issues in the short run, in the long run, it keeps things simple. Your partner knows what to expect, and it builds trust. Don’t pretend to be what you are not,” he says.

Both believe in sharing household responsibilities as per the need of the hour. “He helps with the cleaning of the house and chopping the veggies. He just has to be in the mood,” smiles Purva.

Bringing up babies not just yet!

Yes, they’ve had “The Talk” and no, they aren’t quite ready. “Let me set the record straight, we would both love to start a family at a suitable time. But as of now, we are both busy with our work. Plus, we’d like to achieve certain goals that are important to us before the baby comes along,” says Ketan.

A career woman, through and through, Purva is positive that she will continue to work even when the baby comes. “I am not someone who would be happy just sitting at home and Ketan understands that,” she says. “Besides, he is hugely supportive of all that I do. For instance, in the initial days of my career, I worked as an energy design engineer. But I knew the opportunities for growth were limited and that I would hit a ceiling soon. That’s how I decided to make a paradigm shift to technical writing. He was hugely motivating all through. I am sure he will be the same even when it comes to handling parental responsibilities,” she rounds off.