The Freedom to be; the Space to Grow

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Pune based entrepreneurs Vandita Kedia Purohit and spouse Abhishek Purohit are the personifications of the truism: “To love means to grow” and even if some of that growth happens in the direction of individual professional dreams, they are only the happier for it. Two little boys Vivaan and Artham complete the circle of love.

Vandita has a crazier than crazy schedule these days. Even as she manages home, work, her boys as well as the organisation of what is slated to be India’s first and biggest travel festival called The Ghoom Fest which took place recently, she has her hands full. If that were not enough, the young entrepreneur is the co-founder of Pune’s leading co-working space called The Daftar and the founder of a TraWork a travel-based startup. “To top it all, I don’t have a cook these days,” she exhales. No sweat, though. Her husband Abhishek and two little boys have already cooked pasta for dinner.

Moments like these are aplenty in their home proving beyond doubt that behind every successful entrepreneur is a loving spouse and solid nest.

However, Abhishek is quick to add that his support is returned in full measure. Involved in direct selling for 13 plus years, he has walked the talk himself. Besides, the two of them also started their own sales outsourcing company, The Mint Tree in the early days of their marriage. “Once an entrepreneur, always an entrepreneur,” he says. “Both of us have always shared a similar mindset, despite our opposite personalities. We both wanted to have our own business, and we have done that”, he adds.

Amidst all this, they have had kids fairly early on in their marriage. But that has not impacted their dreams. “If anything, kids are an unmiti gated joy,” says Vandita. “No, I don’t believe they come at a professional cost.”

Back to the beginning

This love story was first scripted at a mutual friend’s dinner. While Vandita and Abhishek were both in Pune for work, neither knew that they actually hailed from the same home town Nagpur or even that they were both Marwaris. What’s more, both are engineering graduates. (He’s a mechanical engineer while she has studied E&TC.)

They hit it from the word go, and the conversation flowed naturally. “We are very different people and that is actually the best thing to happen to our relationship. We complement each other in different ways. For instance, I am talkative, energetic and spontaneous. He, on the other hand, is measured in thought, action and speech. He is careful, while I am all about taking chances. It works very well, indeed,” she grins.

On his part, Abhishek is hugely appreciative of the energy, ‘derring do’ and sheer passion his wife brings to all she undertakes. “It’s thanks to her that I get to experience different things in life,” he says. “Be it scuba diving and sky diving or trying out a hatke business idea, she is the cause of several firsts in my life.”

Given that they were both inclined towards entrepreneurship, it made sense to move back to their home town Nagpur as it would help cut down on costs. “Having worked in a BPO and be-ing involved in network marketing, it made sense to start an outsourcing company of our own. That’s how The Mint Tree was born,” shares Vandita. As it happened, one of their friends joined a startup in the UK. “They were looking for an Indian company to whom they could outsource sales. Naturally, we jumped at the offer. But they had a condition: they wanted us to move back to a bigger place like Pune that would allow a wider talent pool to choose from.”

But the highs and lows that startups inevitably go through followed. “We made the move in December and that’s the worst time as far as western markets go. It is snowing and holiday time, not a great thing as far as business goes. Also, since our clients were a startup themselves, they too found it tough to keep paying us without generating sales themselves,” they reminisce.

Nevertheless, the lessons this gave them would see them through their next ventures.

“We don’t really care about going out to different places. Spending time together is the best feeling in the world”

-Vandita

Circle of love: Vandita and Abhishek with their boys Vivaan and Artham

From strength to strength

So what does it take exactly to keep a young marriage and family secure against the chaotic backdrop of first generation enterprise? “Well, one has to find a way to balance one’s role both at work and at home. I give my all to my role as a husband when at home. But while at work, I dislike any disruptions whatsoever. Besides, we are both very open about sharing work places stresses with each other. We may not have the solution to the other’s issues but talking about it often helps provide a brand new perspective,” says Abhishek.

Simply put, adds Vandita, communication is the key to different facets of their life. “Whatever you are going through, your partner must be told about it in so many words. Leave the guesswork out, be upfront about what you need at that moment even if it is some alone time,” says Vandita.

As in the case of every marriage, conflict management is a priority. “So yes, fights happen,” smiles Vandita. “What is important is to be rational in one’s arguments and reach a conclusion. Our motto is simple: convince or be convinced.”

Six years on, they would both vote for space and respect as the basic pillars of marriage. “You are both individuals, first and foremost. Both of you have dreams. Work towards them with your partner’s love and support,” she says. “When you are fulfilled it will always benefit the family unit.”

Interestingly, both insist that a marriage benefits from not sticking assiduously to socially prescribed “male” or “female” roles. “I am the one who takes care of financial transactions and he steps into the caregiver’s role ever so often on the home front. In fact, he’s great with the kids,” says Vandita. “When you have this flexibility, you don’t feel pressurised in any way.”

The mantras of marriage

• Communicating one’s needs consistently and patiently
• Respecting dreams: your own as well as your partner’s
• Giving due space: doing your own thing and allowing your partner the same privilege
• Shouldering familial responsibilities
• Living in the moment

Bringing up baby boys

The focus of their world would naturally be six year old Vivaan and two and a half year old Artham. Here, too, the couple is chilled out, live in the moment vibe makes its presence felt. “We are not overprotective folks. For instance, I have always believed in letting Vivaan go to the ground on his own and negotiate his own space. I am not the mother to follow her kids around or fight their battles; life doesn’t work that way,” says Vandita. “Yes, we have our ways of pampering our children. They mean the world to us, but they must be raised to be independent little people.”

Academics, adds Abhishek, is not the be all or end all of their parental wish list. “Let them do the best they can and enjoy what-ever they do,” he says.

Quality time for all four would consist of watching a movie or relaxing over coffee and snacks. “We don’t really care about going out to different places. Spending time together is the best feeling in the world,” rounds off Vandita.