Striving for perfection, while accepting that perfection rarely can be achieved, can lead to growth and development and a feeling of satisfaction. It can be a powerful motivator as long as it is based on reasonable standards and expectations
It was a wise man who said: “Only in grammar can you be more than perfect.” And an Italian proverb warns us wryly: “He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless.”
And here is a brilliant piece of inductive reasoning: “I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.”
The spirit of tolerance and acceptance is essential to a happy life and a peaceful mind. The world we live in is far from perfect; we are not ourselves paragons of perfection; and the same goes for the people around us. As they say, it’s a crazy, mixed-up world – but we must recognise ourselves as part of all this imperfection, and accept life as it comes.
No One’s Perfect is the best-selling autobiography of Hirotada Ototake, who was born with a congenital condition that left him with almost no arms or legs. His parents determined that, as much as possible, he would live a ‘normal’ life. This means that he was given no special treatment neither at home nor at school. He went to the prestigious Wasada University – no mean achievement for anyone! We are required to understand ‘special’ children’ and realise that they too, need to be treated like our fellow human beings who are differently abled, and not as if they belonged to a different species!
How and when can looking for perfection become problematic? Psychologists have the answer:
The spirit of tolerance and acceptance is essential to a happy life and a peaceful mind. The world we live in is far from perfect
Striving for perfection, while accepting that perfection rarely can be achieved, can lead to growth and development and a feeling of satisfaction. It can be a powerful motivator as long as it is based on reasonable standards and expectations.
Thus far, I have been saying that we must understand that no one is perfect: let me add a note of request now; this does not mean that we must stop striving for perfection! And no, I am not contradicting myself! We must constantly strive for perfection. To most of us, this striving for perfection will be a lifelong journey, for as someone has said, perfection is always a moving target. Let us strive for perfection so that we may know how difficult it is to achieve; and, in this process of striving, let us come to understand, condone and accept imperfection in our fellow human beings, especially those who are in a subordinate position to us.
“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect,” Jesus tells us in the Bible. May we not conclude that he urges us to imitate God, and therefore be loving, kind and forgiving to everyone around us, irrespective of how smart and clever and useful they are to us. Let us instead be filled with the spirit of compassion and mercy that enables us to accept others as they are, instead of expecting perfection from them.
Sri Krishna too, in the Gita refers to perfection: “It is better to perform one’s own duties imperfectly than to master the duties of another. By fulfilling the obligations he is born with, a person never comes to grief.”
In case you are wondering which duty he refers to, let me give you the words of a Krishna devotee who sums up the teaching of the Gita for us: “Be fearless and pure; never waiver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve. Learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigour, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride. Then, you will achieve your destiny.”
What does it mean to be compassionate and gentle, kind and loving and patient? It is surely to accept people with their imperfections and weaknesses, and still continue to appreciate their worth. If they are imperfect, why, so are we!
By Dada JP Vaswani
