Loved & Married too: Keeping the faith, through thick and thin

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances got sealed in marriage

If love had any other spelling, it would quite simply have to be ‘patience.’ That, coupled with plenty of positivity and persistence, saw CAs Prachi Rahalkar (36) and Abhijit Sathe (38), finally tying the knot 10 years after they first met, with the blessings of both families. Married for eight years since, it’s been a long journey and a heartwarming one at that. Five-year-old Arnav completes the picture

Overcoming parental reservations on how they would adjust to an inter-caste marriage (She’s a Brahmin, he a Maratha) was a challenge, but not an impossible one for a relationship rooted in years of understanding and good old friendship.

Their story was first scripted in 2000 at MS Godbole & Associates, a reputed CA firm in Pune, where both Prachi and Abhijit were pursuing their articleship. Not quite love at first sight, but an association that simply went from one level to the next, smoothly and seamlessly.

In the course of the hours working together, they found much to admire about each other. “She was only 18 and going through a personal crisis; yet the kind of poise and maturity she displayed were simply amazing,” says Abhijit. Apart from this, she also happened to be hugely social, expressive, articulate and fun-loving. Great points all.

On her part, Prachi said she always wanted “someone more emotionally resilient than me.” It helped that he was calm and composed and a good listener.”

The duo kept in touch even when the articleship came to an end and eventually love entered the picture.

Unusually so, she was the one who proposed. “But he did not say an immediate yes, as there was much to think over,” she shares. He took his time, but a little before she left on vacation to her sister’s place in Australia in December 2007, he made his reply in one word, OK, “That was the sum total of his grand response,” she laughs.

Even so, it would take them three more years to win parental approval, especially on Abhijit’s end. “It was a trying time, for sure,” he reminisces. “But Prachi was a rock, and frankly, so was her family. They gave me the space and peace I needed to keep talking to my parents, and eventually wear them down,” he smiles.

The building blocks of a marriage

Lady Luck finally smiled and the two were finally wed in May 2010 amidst a happy celebration with the customary trimmings. It was decided that after spending the first few months with Abhijit’s family, they would move into their own apartment.

Adjustment was a bit of a challenge, especially for Prachi considering the great difference in cultural backgrounds. Still, she kept her chin up. “After all, I had the life partner of my choice. That was the most important thing. Plus, my in-laws, while of traditional views in some respects, are essentially nice people, and we share a lovely relationship,” she shares.

A little later, they moved into the home they had booked but made it a point to stay in touch with the elders. “We may have separate homes, but are together on every occasion, big or small. So be it poojas or birthdays or festivals, we are all an important part of each other’s lives,” she says.

A career woman from the outset, Prachi has always enjoyed Abhijit’s backing to pursue her calling, but chose to take a short break after their son was born. “It was during this time that my mother moved in with us. My father had recently passed away, and I was very worried about her living alone,” says Prachi. “Fortunately, she consented to moving in with us as I had a little boy. It was a win-win decision both ways.”

Life today is hectic and busy, even as they juggle work and home with practiced dexterity. While he is DGM - Taxation with Vodafone, she is a partner with MS Godbole & Associates - the very same place where they had interned all those years ago.

“I believe talking things out is the best way ahead. For only when you get to the root of the matter will you find a lasting solution So when I have really had it, I sit him down and talk things through”

-Prachi Rahalkar

The Mantras of a Marriage
  • Patience and understanding
  • Giving the other person due space
  • Respecting and supporting each other’s choices
  • Celebrating differences
Bringing up their son

Circle of Love: Abhijit and Prachi with their son Arnav

Amidst all this, the couple has a hands-on and fairly relaxed approach when it comes to their son Arnav. “He must pursue what his interests in life are, be they academics, sports or the arts. We are not the sort of parents to force a child in any particular direction. What is important is to give him a good education and support system in life. Ultimately, he has to find his own path,” says Abhijit.

With Prachi’s mom helping out with little Arnav, she is able to give her best at work stress-free. “Still, I make it a point to be around for his evening activities, homework work and cooking. This gives mom a chance to get some rest,” she says. Similarly, Abhijit, despite his demanding schedule does his bit to adjust his hours and come home early or work from home whenever possible

“Work-life balance is important in everything you do,” they say.

From strength to strength

Like every couple, they have their tiffs and areas of differences. What must also be respected, according to them, is the difference in approach when it comes to resolving conflict. “I am the sort who does not believe in reacting immediately. Instead my way is to let tempers cool down, which is when most problems tend to go away on their own,” shares Abhijit, even as Prachi chips in that this does not really work for her. “I believe talking things out is the best way ahead. For only when you get to the root of the matter will you find a lasting solution,” she grins. “So when I have really had it, I sit him down and talk things through.”

At the end of the day, though, what do they believe are the pillars of a relationship ?

“Trust,” says Prachi. “When you have that one bond between the two of you, everything else tends to fall in place. He has always been encouraging of my choices and has trusted me to work things out, no questions asked.”

While Abhijit would root for respect above all else,“To my mind, respect is the starting point of love. Only when you respect your partner for who they are can you claim to love them,” he rounds off.

By Kalyani Sardesai