It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
It is often said that love is but friendship by another name. A meeting with entrepreneurs Ruta Talwalkar and Gireesh Narasimhan (both 40) simply confirms this truism. Married for 16 years preceded by nine years of friendship and romance, this sure is a relationship that has endured, and changed form with each new role brought by life, and yet, remained the same at its core
A regular day for both Ruta and Gireesh is an exercise in multitasking and time management. Both run their own enterprises and manage the multiple responsibilities of home and work, the stresses of running one’s own startup, along with the upbringing of their 12-year-old daughter Riya.
While she is partner at Living Bridge, a Pune-based training centre that provides mentorship programmes in film, camera, theater and assorted genres of writing, Gireesh is busy with the India office of Saltrock Advisors Pvt Ltd, a globally-renowned corporate finance associate firm that helps facilitate mergers and acquisitions in a smooth and transparent manner.
Despite the unique challenges of an entrepreneurial life, they make it a point to talk to each other at least four or five times a day. “It’s not important what you talk about, what is important is to keep talking,” points out Ruta. “Honestly, though, we don't have to try too hard. Communicating with each other is the most natural thing to do, and I find it strange, when other couples say they barely speak.”
After 23 years of togetherness, this is obviously a relationship with the fundamental grounding in place.
It all started way back in Standard X, on a school picnic to Goa. The students across various sections were divided into morning and evening batches for the course of the bus journey. “He was running late as usual and had to be accommodated in my bus, which was in the afternoon,” Ruta smiles at the memory. “We got talking and hit it off instantly.”
The rest, as they say, was meant to be. The friendship endured through both graduate and post graduate college amidst the rough and tumble of those crucial years when careers are being built. Despite the pressing diversions, the duo was thick as ever. “Basically, he was attentive and gave me lots of time," she says. “And so, even though, we are very different at the core, we just went from strength to strength.”
Evidently though, those differences were complimentary. He’s the life of the party, fun-loving and gregarious to a fault, she’s the quiet, reserved sort who is content with a small circle of friends. In short: a textbook case of opposites attracting.
What’s more, Gireesh, with his impeccable manners and respectful ways, impressed her parents. But his constant presence did get her mom wondering. “She’s a psychology teacher and can see the distance. She asked me straight out if there was more to our relationship than just friendship, and I said, err... yes,” reminisces Ruta.
“It is precisely this transparency and lack of pretence that I have always cherished,” says Gireesh.
Still, both sets of parents had their reservations. She is a Maharashtrian brahmin, and he a Tamilian or Tam Brahm. “Mom was worried that I had been brought up very liberally; how would I manage in such a traditional home?”
As it turned out, it wasn’t that much of an issue at all.
Ruta and Gireesh with daughter RiyaThe initial years of marriage had Ruta and Gireesh living with his parents in a joint family. “Yes, there were adjustments to be made. Luckily I wasn't the only one expected to make them. My in-laws went out of their way to include me within the fold of the family, being very considerate about my comfort,” she shares.
Sure, there were hiccups and a few differences here and there. “Life and relationships are all about give and take,” says Ruta. “It's okay to give in at times, in the interest of the larger picture.”
Nevertheless, that first stage demanded a lot from both. A Masters in Personnel Management, Ruta was working first with Delphi Computers and then with The Times of India, while he was trying to set up kitchen1. com, an online food service, that in retrospect. was way ahead of its time. “From the outset, we have both been supportive of each other's dreams and given each other the space and freedom to pursue them,” says Gireesh.
Thus, even though money was tight, it was never an issue. “I knew it was a passing phase, that with his enterprising mindset, he would soon find his groove,” shares Ruta. “What I'd like to point out here is that both marriage and relationships are more than just money.”
Eventually, Gireesh took up the India operations for Saltrock, a venture that utilised his talents well. “Patience is key in a marriage as well as at work,” he says. “That, and letting little things go.”
Their little girl Riya was born in 2005, and Ruta took the studied decision of giving up work. “I always felt she needed me more,” she says. “It was a tough decision, you do miss work a lot but at the end of the day, a couple has to decide what is best for their family.”
As events transpired, this was but a stop-gap arrangement, until the opportunity to set up Living Bridge with two other partners, Aziz Rajabali and Prashant Desai came up in 2012. “There was this huge paucity of professional training that was both accessible and affordable for the arts like film, camera, theater and writing, be it script or screen writing. We found that there were lots of professionals in different fields who yearned to learn more about film and creative writing, despite the fact that they were in different professions. But to turn to regular professional colleges would mean a huge investment in terms of both time and money, neither of which are easy to spare,” says Ruta. “That’s how we came up the concept of Living Bridge that would allow working professionals or mentors to conduct short duration workshops for interested candidates in a manner that was both economical and time-bound.”
On his part, Gireesh was all for it. “I thought it was a great idea, and she ought to take it up with determination and gusto.”
“From the outset, we have both been supportive of each other’s dreams and given each other the space and freedom to pursue them. Patience is key in a marriage as well as at work”
—Gireesh
As of today, life is hectic and happy with work and their sprightly daughter Riya demanding their time, apart from work. “Parenting is a whole new ball game for every couple. You have to learn from scratch, with the personality of the child to guide you,” says Gireesh.
“Honestly, it has never been a priority for either of us to have an academic topper at home. She is a bright child; we have confidence in her abilities. What is more important for her is to participate in assorted activities along with her academics. From tennis to dance, she has lots besides her studies to keep her gainfully occupied and that’s good enough for us,” says Ruta. However, she is quick to point out that she’s the stricter parent, while Gireesh is way more easy-going. “The classic good cop and bad cop situation,” she laughs. What is important, though, is to keep the communication going. “You must be comfortable confiding in each other. Speak your mind; say only what you mean; it keeps simple,” they round off.
By Kalyani Sardesai
