It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
“Togetherness is not necessarily about two people looking at each other, but it is certainly about them looking in the same direction,” is what this couple will have you know. Perhaps it is this simple belief is what brought two individuals from diverse professions together in the first place. Ten years on, neither CA Dr. Pankaj Vasani nor his better (best, as he insists) half Dr. Poonam Patel Vasani have any complaints about either the choice they made or the principles that brought them together. And yes, the twain has met
He’s a CA and lawyer by training, currently executive president and CFO, South Asia for Publicis Group, also recently decorated with “CA CFO of the Year in the Media & Entertainment Sector” by the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India (ICAI) for the year 2018. He was similarly awarded the Professional Achiever Award for 2014 by the ICAI in 2014. Plus, he’s a fitness enthusiast with his name in the Guinness World Record for finishing Satara mountain half marathon.
She’s an Anesthesiologist and Fellowship holder in Pain and Palliative Medicine. An active member of International Association for Study of Pain, Indian Society for Study of Pain, Indian Association of Palliative Care, Indian Society of Anesthesiology, Indian Medical Association, Medical Council of India and Indian Society for Critical Care Medicine, she runs a unique set up that explores multi-disciplinary, non-surgical options for any kind of chronic pain. She’s also an author and speaker at various seminars and conferences.
This love story is a slight, no, significant departure from the usual campus romance for the fundamental reason that both belong to different professions. In fact, she was the doctor and him, the patient. No, this isn’t out of a movie, but the plain truth.
“I was supposed to undergo a minor surgery at the hospital she visited. As the Anesthesiologist for the procedure she explained how they would use local Anesthesia,” shares Pankaj.
Hardly a cue for humor but being himself- he couldn’t resist. “I solemnly told her I wanted the finest; no local stuff would do.” She burst out laughing. And thereby hangs a tale.
He recovered soon enough but found other reasons to visit her-in hospital of course. Despite the different professions, there was much they shared: both were fellow Gujjus with a decided passion for education, exploration and fitness. “Besides, I thought he was witty and funny,” recounts Poonam. (Always a welcome point, gentlemen please note!)
Gradually but inevitably, love blossomed. Their families were happy enough, both had also been brought up in homes that encouraged individual choice be it by way of career or marriage. Two little ones Divyanshi and Manan complete the circle of joy.
We both believe that unless you are fulfilled as individuals, you are not likely to find fulfilment in any other relationship, marriage or otherwise. Only when you truly love yourself, can you truly love someone else
-Poonam
Time with family keeps us wanting more
True places are never in any map #wanderlustWhat followed, therefore, was the very antithesis of the big, fat wedding. “We had a different take on how we wanted to celebrate our big day,” they say. A small, intimate ceremony was followed by multiple dinners (note, not receptions) for their assorted friends with lots of good food, laughter, conversation and wine.
An unconventional start to an unconventional but rewarding partnership. Allow us to explain -unconventional. “Both of us are narcissists,” says Pankaj in all seriousness, even as Poonam nods enthusiastically.
Lest you think it’s an outrageous statement-allow us to qualify that further. “We both believe that unless you are fulfilled as individuals, you are not likely to find fulfilment in any other relationship, marriage or otherwise. When you pursue your passions wholeheartedly, you are at peace with yourself and that brings harmony and health to your relationship,” expresses Poonam. “Only when you truly love yourself, can you truly love someone else.”
A profound thought that can get as complex or simple as one chooses to make it. Luckily, both have always been on the same page with regard to this. “Honestly speaking, neither of us wastes any time over silly expectations of each other. There’s no...he/she should have done this or waited for me or joined me in our equation. It’s both liberating and strengthening for the relationship not to have this burden,” says Pankaj. “We both give each other the space to do our own thing and never intrude.”
It helps that gender roles are not strictly adhered to in the Vasani household. “She does not cook and that is absolutely fine,” says Pankaj. “I am the one who is the enthusiastic cook. I always say: she’s great with kidneys, but not kidney beans-so what?”
An erudite man himself with degrees in chartered accountancy, management and law, he is nevertheless in awe of his medico wife. “She’s been this academic topper all through and I totally admire that in her,” he says. (She’s also authored multiple papers including one on pain management.)
“In fact, it is our mutual love of education and growth that is the glue that keeps us together,” she smiles. “Living with him is an enriching experience; he’s not one to stay in the same space for long; evolution, both personal and professional is a continuous thing with him. It’s amazing how he’s grown not just in the workplace but also within the family - as father, husband and son in law,” she says.
Fulsome appreciation on both sides indeed- err, how do they manage conflict? “It may seem like an odd thing to say, but in all these years that we have been together, I don’t remember a fight,” he says. “I guess respect, space and understanding go a long way in keeping the harmony. Looking at things from the other’s viewpoint is also a useful habit to practice.”
A strong support system in the form of a joint family has value-added in a big way too. The young family lives with Pankaj’s parents and none would have it any other way. “Elders and grandparents add a whole new dimension to the children’s lives and that is something we deeply appreciate,” they say.
With two little ones Divyanshi (8) and Manan (5), life is hectic but happy and rewarding. Having been great at academics herself, Poonam would love for both her kids to be doctors, but ultimately, agrees with Pankaj that it’s all about being happy and content with whatever profession one chooses to take up at the end of the day.
“One day they want to be a dancer, the next day, a fire-fighter and we are fine with what they do,” he smiles. What both are conscientious about is building up the reading habit in the children. “It’s come to the point that no matter how much we might want to give it a miss, no way are the kids going to lose out on story time before bed. They want to be read to by mummy or daddy, and that is that,” she grins.
Despite being financially successful both are mindful about keeping the kids grounded. “They learn what they see,” says Pankaj. “So it’s up to us to expose them to various situations that will help them grow. Sure, we both are successful but there is no pressure from us in any way. They must be themselves at all times.”
Amidst all this, the duo is particular about keeping their date night together once a month. Like a wise man once said, ‘it’s the little things that are actually the big things’.
By Kalyani Sardesai
