It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Fauji couple Major Gagandeep Kaur and her significant half Lt. Commander Manu Sharma on what it means to be officers of the Indian Armed Forces as well as husband and wife. Both their careers demand time and postings away from each other, but since this is a relationship rooted in common values and a long courtship, distance isn’t a problem
Gagandeep and Manu are both travel buffs and enjoy road trips to different destinationsMarried for all of three years, this is the first posting nevertheless that Major Gagandeep Kaur and Lt. Commander Manu Sharma (both 30) are sharing together. Little wonder because she’s an Army officer, while he’s in the Navy and both these careers are known to have their own independent trajectories. “In fact, I am expecting my next posting soon,” says the effervescent Gagan. “I don’t know when we will be together after that.”
But that’s how it is going to be for some time and they are both unanimous and proud of their choices. While they’ve been married for only a bit, their friendship dates back to 2004 when they were both pursuing their respective diplomas in engineering in Chandigarh. He’s half Haryanvi, from a family of doctors, while she’s a sardarni from a third gen army home. “We used to share an auto to college and that’s how we got talking. In fact, I was the one who introduced him to a friend of mine. They broke up within a month though,” she grins.
None of that got in the way of their friendship, which simply went from one level to the next-all the way from diploma to degree college. She completed her engineering in IT while he pursued electronics and an M.Tech after that. “While I always planned to join the army, he wished to pursue a career in research and academics and go abroad to do his PHD,” shares Gagan. But as it were, Gagan’s late father-a proud fauji himself, had one ardent wish: to see his daughter married to someone from the forces. “That’s how he decided to join the Navy,” she says. “It was a big decision then but it worked out well for both of us.”
In 2015, both wed with the blessings of their parents.
Both Gagan and Manu are opposite personalities, chalk and cheese, so to speak. She’s outgoing, friendly and talkative. He’s a man of few words and long silences-not to forget plenty of patience. Together, they are a fine unit.
Besides, both are expressive about what they love most about each other.
"She’s always been a bold and decisive girl. Someone who has the courage to speak her mind and do what she feels is right”
—Manu Sharma
“Marriage is not just about respecting the person but also supporting their dreams”
“I would say his finest quality is his maturity. He’s a great advisor not just to me but to both our families. He’s balanced and sees all sides of the situation,” she says. “What’s more, he’s all financially savvy, so that kind of keeps me at ease.”
On his part, Manu appreciates his wife for her unconventional ways. “She’s always been a bold and decisive girl. Someone who has the courage to speak her mind and do what she feels is right,” he says. “Quite the tomboy in college, she has always been this dynamic personality and I really admire that about her. She’s independent with a mind of her own and that’s something I would not want to change about her. While she can be as fun-loving and girly as the next young woman, she can switch in no time to being this responsible person, completely capable of taking charge of the situation.”
Sure, life in the forces is no cakewalk-considering both are serving officers in their own right. But they make it a point to participate in each other’s life wherever possible. “When I attend the parties in the Navy with him, there’s a lot of curiosity about the army and how things work there. There is a deep sense of camaraderie and mutual respect between the officers of the forces,” she says.
Despite the cons, the fauji, as they refer to the armed forces has several pros to it. For one, being an officer herself, Gagan’s personality is not reined in by her gender. Secondly, the atmosphere is cosmopolitan-exposing both young minds to assorted situations and different backgrounds. “Amidst all this trust is a major factor,” says Manu. “We both travel separately, and often party by ourselves. Complete faith in one’s partner, as well as their ability and judgment when it comes to taking care of themselves-is essential. I know for a fact that Gagan is a strong lady and can handle herself, come what may.”
Thirdly, since they are both away from their families, time together is that much sweeter. “We appreciate each other better,” says Gagan. Making it a point to make the most of their time together, they have recently started working out. “Shared goals, and common passions give you something to talk about,” she says. While he’s the good cook, she’s happy to assist.
Little things add up to the big picture. “He is also a passionate biker and driver and we do a lot of riding/driving to different places. Last year we did Mumbai to Bhutan by car as both of us love driving. It was an awesome experience,” she says.
Conflict management is an important part of any relationship and there’s no wishing it away. “We both have different triggers. While Gagan gets angry pretty quickly, it takes me time to get mad. But we both make it a point not to let things escalate beyond a point. In fact, one trick that always works for us is to introduce the third party element. Either we go out, or call someone over and let things be for the moment. After a while, things cool down on their own,” smiles Manu.
Having said that, he would say space in a marriage is essential as is the need to understand and respect what one’s partner wants in life as well. “You can’t impose things on the other; things don’t work that way,” he says.
For the moment, life is hectic but happy and both are committed careerists. So, no they haven’t had ‘The Talk’ yet. “But we are both firm about the fact that now is not the time for children. She has her responsibilities and I have mine. Besides, both of us need to explore opportunities and life to the fullest,” he rounds off.
By Kalyani Sardesai
