It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Entrepreneur Rujuta Phadke and her significant other, IT professional Ojas Pashankar are the quintessential millennial couple: ambitious, driven and focused. What gives each of them the wings to aspire for greater heights is a relationship grounded in long years of friendship. Married for 5 years, and known each other for 11, this is their story and this is how they tell it
When media professional Rujuta Phadke decided to start “Flair Craft Brandcom” her own branding and marketing agency in the June of 2017, she did not waste much time mulling over the risks inherent to entrepreneurship. She did not have to. Cheering her on was her husband, Ojas Pashankar, an IT professional by career but a self-confessed wannabe entrepreneur at the core. “Starting a business may not be easy,” he says. “But all the money and effort you put in are an investment unto your future.” Not only does the agency put Rujuta's vast and varied experience in media to good use—whether it be as copywriter, researcher or brand strategist -it also ropes in Ojas' know how with computers.
While she holds a post graduate degree in journalism from Pune's Symbiosis Institute of Media & Communication, he is a Master's in Computer Science from Savitribai Phule Pune University and is currently employed as project manager with Benchmark IT Solutions Pvt. Ltd.
It's a hectic time, with Rujuta's agency completing just over a year, but also a happy and rewarding one. “At times, I just can't figure out where the day went,” she grins. “We work through weekends, and all hours of the day. All nighters are common enough too.” Nopes, Ojas isn't complaining. “He's so supportive and understanding, I honestly couldn't have asked for more,” she says.
Perhaps there is indeed some merit to the Bollywood-propagated truism that friendship is actually love with another spelling.
This love story dates back to 2007-when both Rujuta and Ojas were playing the dhol for Pune's dhol pathak, Shiv Garjana. There was plenty of opportunity to hang out together and they did just that-considering they got on so famously. “In some ways we are very alike, and in others, the differences are a perfect foil to each other's personality,” she says. He's patient and quiet, the proverbial man of few words, whereas she's lively, easy going and capable of striking up a conversation with just about anyone.
“I really admire her spontaneous, free spirit,” says Ojas. “It has helped me grow as a person too in the sense that I find myself communicating a lot better than I used to.”
On her part, Rujuta nominates him her Mr. Rock Solid. “What I love most about him is that when he takes up the responsibility of something or someone, he will never let them down. He's reliable to the core, my go-to guy for any occasion and that is an amazing quality in any human being.”
Four years into the friendship, Rujuta broached the topic of taking it to another level. “We got on very well and wanted similar things out of life: so I asked him why not?”
Nevertheless, there was a moment of worry over what could happen if things didn't quite work out the way they wanted them to; they'd both end up losing their besties in the bargain.
Turns out, it was a risk they were willing to take and then it was just a matter of meeting each other's families. “Our parents were fine with it. (Both are Maharashtrians with similar cultural moorings and value system). So we were duly wed in 2013 in a traditional but fun-filled ceremony,” she shares.
“What is crucial in a marriage is to have your partners' unquestioning support. It uncomplicates matters when you don't have to explain every little thing you did. Basically it all adds up to space and trust”
- Rujuta Phadke
Happy moments at the wedding
Vacationing in Bhutan“It is always an advantage to have known your life partner as a buddy first and foremost,” says Ojas. “You know each other from so many different angles-and share a camaraderie that takes an arranged marriage way more time. Sure, living together as husband and wife is different from meeting someone for a couple of hours a day-but the bottom line is that when you have spent a certain amount of time with your spouse before marriage, it is a valuable thing to build on.”
It helps for sure that both Rujuta and Ojas are firm believers in equality- in every sense of the word. As a career woman, Rujuta feels empowered by his stance, because “it is one thing to profess to believe in gender equality, another thing to practice it in matters great and small,” she says. “He is one of the most progressive and evolved men I know.”
When conflicts arise, the couple simply talk things out. “But truly speaking, I don't quite remember a massive row in the last five years we've been married,” she says. He's patient as opposed to her and that goes a distance in calming things down. “What is crucial in a marriage is to have your partners' unquestioning support,” she muses. “It simplifies matters when you don't have to explain every little thing you did. Basically it all adds up to space and trust.”
Compromise is a fine thing, she says, “To the extent that it does not make either partner feel suffocated. Giving in is nice too but it should not feel like you are constantly suppressing your own wishes. It is important to respect that at the end of the day, the other person is an individual in their own right and is bound to have their own take on life.”
Five years into their marriage, quality time for both consists of trying out different restaurants in town and binge watching movies as well as web series. “It's not important to have an agenda, we simply like hanging out together,” he says.
In a departure from norm, neither have had ‘The Talk’ yet. Nor do they intend to for the fundamental reason that a family isn't on the agenda. “Sure, kids are a wonderful addition to many couple's lives. But as far as we are concerned, we are happy with our careers and with each other. What's more, we are completely united on the score, irrespective of advice to the contrary,” she laughs.
By Kalyani Sardesai
