It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances got sealed in marriage
Currently based in Thane, Meghashyam Shirodkar and his better half Arwa Poonawala are proof positive that over and above every so-called difference of caste, community and culture, it is love that counts. Seven-year-old Dhruva completes their circle
On Diwali, little Dhruva looks forward to Shankarpalas and chiwda; come Eid and it’s a sumptuous repast of Sheer Korma that he partakes of. Amidst the various delicious flavors of his mom’s kitchen—it is a lingering taste that stays on: a joyful celebration of diversity, tolerance and all the differences that ultimately make us human.
For this, he has his dad Meghashyam Shirodkar and mom Arwa Poonawala to thank.
In these jaded times, some stories do stand out for the most heart warming reasons.
Meghashyam and Arwa first met in 2005 while they were both employed with EXL Services, Magarpatta, Pune. It was pretty much the first job for young Meghashyam from Kolhapur, and he spent quite a bit of his time pursuing his love of Crosswords and puzzles in the staff common room. Things went on like this for some time: it was largely work and the crossword, until one day, he began to discover (to his annoyance) that someone else seemed to be solving them before he got the chance. A few days later he discovered the ‘culprit’ who happened to share this relatively unusual passion for word games and puzzles: his co-worker Arwa Poonawala.
Then on, both decided to solve them together, thereby establishing the foundation of a lasting friendship. From the outset, they got along beautifully. Despite-or perhaps-because they were such opposites in terms of personality, they complemented each other well. “I loved the fact that he was outspoken and candid enough to stand up for what he believed in. He’s not the one to hide behind a false facade, but will take the situation head on. Besides, he speaks beautifully and is a talented quiz master to boot. (Meghashyam is a quiz master of some repute, balancing his banking work with his passion for quizzing.) Currently employed with Edelweiss as AVP, Business Excellence, he nevertheless, makes it a point to quiz on the weekends.
On his part, he liked her company for her gentle and understanding ways, and the relationship simply went from strength to strength. “She is quite a people’s person and very easy to get along with. I tend to be a bit hot-tempered and so her nature is the perfect foil to mine,” he says.
In some time, marriage was a logical and natural enough question to discuss; never mind the disparate backgrounds: He’s a Maharashtrian while she’s a Bohri Muslim.
Nevertheless, says Meghashyam, it was simply a matter of waiting for Arwa’s parents to come around. “Mine is a liberal family from the Konkan, and inter cultural marriages in my home have been happening for generations. So they were pretty fine with it,” he says.
But Arwa’s parents took some convincing. “They just didn’t see it coming,” she reminisces. “However when they saw how happy we were together, they gave us their blessings, wholeheartedly.”
The duo were married in a civil ceremony in 2008 with both families in joyful attendance.
Having lived in a nuclear set up from the beginning of their married life, the duo have nevertheless enjoyed the love and support of both families. This has helped considerably in the raising of their seven-year-old boy, Dhruva
Meghashyam with Arwa and son Dhruva
Despite all the ominous predictions that inevitably accompany an inter cultural wedding— all that concern about adjusting to differences and so on, both partners discovered that it wasn’t such a huge deal after all. “I am an atheist while she is not. We both follow our beliefs. Thus, the question of discomfort does not arise,” says Meghashyam.
As in the case of any marriage, conflicts do arise, but the important thing, according to Meghashyam is to move ahead with empathy and understanding.
“Considering how much of a gentle and giving person Arwa is, it is easy enough for me to get my way most of the time. So it is absolutely crucial to ask myself: is what I am doing of equal value and happiness to my partner? Asking yourself that question regularly is the way ahead according to me,” says Meghashyam.
Having lived in a nuclear set up from the beginning of their married life, the duo have nevertheless enjoyed the love and support of both families. This has helped considerably in the raising of their seven-year-old boy, Dhruva.
When their son was born, the proud parents went through a gamut of names before zeroing in on the perfect choice. “Our first options were the secular names that have arisen from the Ganga-Jamuna traditions of Indian spirituality, names like Kabir, Sahil, Sameer and so on-names that could be ambiguously Hindu or Muslim. But somehow, neither of us could agree on a single one,” shares Meghashyam.
However, when the name Dhruva came up, it resonated perfectly with both parents, despite its close association with Hindu mythology. “Dhruva means the Pole Star, the one constant, unchanging presence in the Universe, even as all else seems to be transient and temporary. We both loved the name and everything it symbolizes,” says Arwa.
As of today, Dhruva is a happy and cheerful seven, who shares his dad’s passion for quizzing and plays a keen game of tennis. Loved and indulged by relatives from both sides of his parents’ family, he has been enriched by a gamut of diverse cultural experiences from babyhood: From Ganpati at Meghashyam’s sister’s place to Eid at his nana-nani’s, he celebrates different occasions with gusto. There’s even a floor-to-ceiling Christmas Tree put up in his aunt’s living room for him in December, that he decorates each year!
The liberality extends to other aspects of his upbringing too with both parents choosing to explain things to him rationally and peacefully rather than simply reading out diktats. “Yes, there are some definite dos and don’ts. But he knows why those rules have been made in the first place,” says Meghashyam.
Both parents were united about one thing though: one of them had to be home in the early years of Dhruva’s life. Currently on a break from work (she was employed with HDFC Bank as Branch Operations Manager), Arwa says she has no regrets as “balancing home and family is of great importance to me.”
At the end of the day, neither has any regrets of their unconventional choice. “Meghashyam is the most dependable and reliable partner I could ever have asked for. The love and security I get from this relationship is my greatest earning,” signs off Arwa.
By Kalyani Sardesai
