It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Punjabi kudi Sonam Channa and her Marwari groom Basant Sharma on how love is acceptance—with a different spelling, that's all
Amidst a society that continues to lay much store by common cultural ties, especially when it comes to a life-altering decision like marriage, this 30-year-old couple are proud possessors of a wisdom that belies their age.
"It's all up to the individuals concerned. Either you fight over your different traditions or you concentrate on the bigger picture: your relationship and the quality of the life you share," says Basant Sharma. His wife of three years, Sonam Channa couldn't agree more, despite the fact that it wasn't quite love at first sight on her end.
It was the 'traditional day' for the batch of 2010- 12 at BMRD, Pune. One look at Sonam Channa in all her Punjabi regalia and Basant Sharma was smitten. To his delight, he discovered she was in the same class as him. "In fact, the first thing he said to me was that he thought I looked lovely in the Punjabi wear," smiles Sonam.
Soon, the close proximity with each other in class made it clear to her that he had a crush on her. "He would keep staring at me," she reminisces. "So one day, I decided to confront him straight out as to why he was doing that."
To her surprise, he was pretty blunt about his intent. "I like you," he said. "And one day, I will marry you." Taken aback by the frankspeak, she told him upfront though that she wasn't interested. But he wasn't one to lose hope easily. Besides, campus life has a way of throwing people together. "She happens to be this really graceful, classically trained dancer. As a result, she helped me out with the dance steps in my first-ever performance as part of the college extracurricular activities," he says.
He would go out of his way to do things for her—from plotting with her roommates to organise a treasure hunt of gifts and goodies on her birthday to being a really good friend, he did not scrimp on the effort.
Still, she was clear it was no more than friendship. But it was just a matter of timing. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. They both got jobs in different cities in due course and bid each other adieu. "It was now that I realised how much I missed him and how we were meant to be together," she says.
With familyDespite their commitment to each other, there were the families to convince. Both Sonam and Basant are elder children and both had responsibilities. Intercaste marriage wasn't the norm in either of their homes.
They had to take due care to introduce the families to each other subtly. "So we came up with this innovative idea of taking our moms and siblings along with a few of our friends for a holiday to Ooty. We told them nothing. Everyone met everyone else, and we had a great time," recounts Sonam.
Still it would be some time before they revealed the extent of their involvement to each other. "When we did tell them, predictably, they were not pleased. But we stood our ground and patiently explained to them that we were very sure about each other," shares Basant.
Eventually, their maturity and fortitude stood them in good stead and in March 2015 they were duly wed with the blessings and good wishes of both families.
She happens to be this really graceful, classically- trained dancer. As a result, she helped me out with the dance steps in my first-ever performance as part of the college extracurricular activities
— Basant
Welcome party for freshers
The D DayLife is both challenging and rewarding at the moment. Currently stationed at Bharuch, Gujarat, Sonam is Senior Executive (HR) with Jubilant Life Sciences while Basant is Manager (HR & Admin) with SRF Pvt. Ltd.
So how has the adjustment been post-marriage for both of them? "Honestly, I have married into such a thoughtful family that they have gone out of their way to accommodate me. They have always been considerate of the fact that I come from another background and have treated me with tact and care," says Sonam. "I am happy to say this: she is actually closer to my family than me. That's how well she has blended in," says Basant.
Both would peg mutual respect, trust and space as the building blocks of a marriage. That, and looking out for one another. "Whenever obstacles arise, I have this tendency to take a back seat and sacrifice, so to speak. But he does not allow that. In fact, he is very thoughtful of my aspirations as well," she says.
Like every young couple, they too have their share of fights, but communication is the key to almost every problem. "She is a very emotional person, someone who thinks with her heart. On the other hand, I am practical. The trick is to explain each other's viewpoint to each other. We don't allow fights to fester; instead, after a small period of cooling off, we sit down and talk. The golden rule is never to marcarry ego-hassles over to the next day," says Basant.
Both are sure they would love a little family of their own in sometime; on her part, Sonam is quietly confident about the support that will be extended to her by both husband and inlaws. "The decision to work or not immediately post-baby would be mine. Personally, I would like to take a small break for a year and then start a dance academy of my own, considering I am proficient in Bharatnatyam, folk dances and western dancing as well," she says.
With a partner who believes in her talent, the sky is the limit.
By Kalyani Sardesai
