It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
They met in their Physics tuition class and have not been without each other, ever since. Married and happy, corporate professionals Richa Dogra and Tarun Singh, enjoy a mature marriage nourished by the roots of a long-standing friendship and mutual respect. A happy picture, further enriched by the entry of their toddler, little Vedaant, into their lovely world
This romance dates all the way back to Class XII, even as Richa Dogra and Tarun Singh, both ambitious students, were busily preparing for their boards. To that end, they both attended a tuition class for Physics. It wasn't love at first sight-or maybe it was-says Richa. But it was not something they were willing to acknowledge as yet. "There was a lot of friction-which was actually just attraction projected as such," she laughs. "At least that was the case with me."
Both defence kids, with their fathers in the Indian Air Force, they were studying at Gandhinagar, Gujarat at the time. In some time, the boards got over and they applied for their engineering degree. Both secured admission in North Maharashtra University. Here's where they really got talking. And it was a classic case of opposites attracting.
"She is patient and composed. I found that quality really fascinating, since I'm not big on it myself," says Tarun. "My motto at the time was to get things done, no matter what it takes. On the other hand, her approach was structured and unhurried, and yet she managed to deliver. I wanted to learn this from her," he says.
"Despite the differences in personality, we have similar ideas about life. Both of us are huge believers in the power of compassion and respect towards others and each other," chips in Richa.
And that's how love happened. "This was way back in 2003. The Telecom boom had just taken place. Almost everybody had a mobile phone; service providers were wooing customers with free SMSes and other lucrative plans. So yes, we really got to chat a lot," smiles Richa.
As they spent more time together, they realised they were meant to be. By this time, both had completed their engineering. Richa was pursuing a Master's Degree in HR at a prestigious institute in Pune, while Tarun was working with Hitachi Consulting. "He would drive down all the way from his office in Hadapsar to Wakad, just to meet me for about 30 minutes in between a jampacked schedule. We were really close by now and it was time to take it to the next level."
A little hitch though. Richa's father had no idea about their romance. Their cultural background was different. She's a Himachali and he from Lucknow, they are bonded by their shared defence background.
"It's just that they had no idea we were in a relationship. Her dad knew me and saw me as someone who would protect his girl. Predictably, he did not take it too well when he realised that we were in love," narrates Tarun.
However, they had little choice but to tell the truth, particularly since Richa's parents were looking for a suitable match for her. "The pressure was high on me to say yes to a fellow they had in mind for me. So I had to tell my folks," she recalls.
There was no direct conversation between her dad and Richa, but nevertheless, it was awkward because she could tell that it was weighing heavily on his mind. Tarun's parents were fine with their marriage. Even so, the duo agreed to go ahead only with both sets of parents giving their whole-hearted consent. "We absolutely did not wish to hurt our elders. Their blessings were hugely important to both of us."
It was a confusing, hurtful time and one day Richa told Tarun that she would not be able to stretch the imbroglio any further. "But in less than a week, I realised I would not be able to live without him."
"Both of us believe in gentle parenting. However, looking after such a young child can be stressful. The trick is in one partner being calm, particularly if the other is losing patience"
- Richa
After this decision of seeing it through, there was no looking back. "I took the tension in my stride and never once fought with my parents. In my heart of hearts, I knew dad would relent sometime," she says.
On his part, Tarun understood his father-inlaw's plans for his daughter. "He wanted the best for her and why not? In fact, in a way it helped me pace my career and do better," he says.
Eventually, their patience paid off and one fine day, out of the blue, even as she was ironing her clothes to go to work, her father asked Richa quietly: "So you are sure about Tarun?"
It was such a seminal moment, one they had longed for-and yet she did not know how to react. But then things moved quickly.
The duo was finally wed in February 2013 at Richa's hometown in Hamirpur, Himachal Pradesh amidst much fanfare and rejoicing.
Post-marriage, both are based in Mumbai. And no, the adjustment has not been difficult. "Barring the fact that he refuses to cap the toothpaste, everything else has been relatively easy," she grins.
One thing they have adhered to is that they never allowed their relationship to change. "We were and are each other's best friends. Marriage has just been an extension and value addition to our bond," says Tarun.
While she is working as a Senior Manager and HR Business Partner with United Spirits-Diageo, he is about to join MindTeck India Ltd as Regional Program Head. It is a busy and hectic time-what with their 19-month-old son Vedaant, demanding best, but like other things, they are approaching parenthood with systematic planning and teamwork. “Both of us believe in gentle parenting. However, looking after such a young child can be stressful. The trick is in one partner being calm, if the other is losing patience," says Richa.
"He was very keen that I join back work post-baby. To effect that, his parents have taken a transfer to Mumbai and are living with us. Momin- law is the best support I could ever hope to have," she expresses.
So how does it work in a joint family? Very well, they say. "Each member of the house, whether he or she stays at home, or goes out to work, is contributing to the well-being of the family. The trick is to respect the diversity each one brings to the table and expresses due appreciation and gratitude towards each other," says Richa.
Thus, even though the early days of their marriage were spent as a nuclear family, the elders moving in has brought in more joy all around. "They have their own value system, and ideas about how to do things which is absolutely fine by me. For their part, though, they have never forced anything on me. For example, I am more spiritual than religious, but they respect that," says Richa.
Both are particular about spending some time daily in a meaningful conversation. "It could be early morning over chai, or while we are both travelling to work. Those few minutes of sharing what's happening at work and home make a world of difference," says Tarun. Similarly, there are dinners together, once a month. "That time we spend together, just the two of us, is important," he rounds off.
By Kalyani Sardesai
