It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Both have had to wait to find love. But when it finally came their way, HR professional Ayesha Barse and Executive Chef Merajuddin Ansari lost no time in committing themselves to it—heart and soul. This is their heart-warming story, and this is how they tell it
Losing both one's parents at the tender age of 17 would be an unspeakable experience for most. Although Pune girl Ayesha Barse was left all alone in the world, she was made of grit and resilience that few can boast of. Which explains her impressive career graph and the success she has made out of her life and relationships; including her marriage.
Forced to drop out of college (despite being a good student and athlete), taking up assorted sales and telecommunication jobs to pay her bills, and eventually figuring out that it was in human resources where her eventual calling lay, she has been a self-taught figure in more ways than one. "Survival was key. Unlike other young people my age, I did not have the luxury of taking it easy or wasting time. Each minute had to be spent in productive pursuit. So be it completing my education from the National Institute of Management via correspondence or putting in that extra hard work to excel at work, I had to succeed at whatever I did. After going through all that I did in life, I chose human resources as my arena of specialisation as I feel I can understand and relate to people and their problems," she says. "I had no guidance or moral support when I started out, but my current role enables me to coach, counsel and bring out the best in people." A focus that took her to the top of the rung as Manager, HR, Marriott Hotels, Pune—but one that left her little time for love. "It's not as if I was averse to finding it. Far from it—I wanted to find the kind of happy marriage that my parents had enjoyed. They were such a united and happy pair that only a few months after mom died of cancer, dad collapsed from a heart attack. Nevertheless, I have very happy memories of both of them, and wanted to enjoy companionship just like theirs," she says. For once, life was listening.
This story was first scripted when Merajuddin Ansari moved to Pune to work as sous-chef with the Marriott in 2014. That's how he first spotted the warm, friendly and mature-beyond-her years Ayesha. "My first impression of her? She's very caring, very humane, possibly because she has seen life so up-close says Merajuddin. "Despite being so senior, she was approachable and easy to talk to. I found that to be a very nice quality," he says.
On her part, Ayesha was impressed with the quiet young man whose gravitas was evident despite the fact that he rarely spoke. "He has several siblings—all of whom he helped get married or settled. His selflessness and ability to put others ahead of him is something of great value. He is considerate and respectful, especially of women, and has an innate sense of responsibility towards friends and family," she says.
One conversation led to another, the two began to hang out a lot. There was a lot to share, despite the seeming difference in cultural backgrounds— she being from a nuclear family in cosmopolitan Pune, whereas he hails from a small town called Khusinagar, near Gorakhpur in UP. "One tends to believe that people from small towns are conservative and set in their ways. But that's not true. I have found Meraj and his parents to be very accepting and evolved, despite their simplicity," she says.
It was a classic case of opposite poles attracting each other. "I am talkative and outgoing, whereas he only talks when there is something to be said. Similarly, he is very calm. It works out well," she says.
"When I told my parents that I had finally found the girl I wanted to marry, they were thrilled. The religious differences did not matter; in fact they liked her from the start. She's a self-made woman, and yet so thoughtful of others. This is something we all respect," he says.
His family landed up in Pune with a ring for the bride and the nuptials followed soon in Feb 2016.
"What I must point out is that it took him a big heart to accept me with no family; my cousin Virendra Barse being the only family member who met my in-laws and has been a huge support throughout," says Ayesha. "I would also like to make a special mention of my friend Caroline Alexander and her parents who gave me away in place of my parents at the Nikaah."
“He's a chef; he works when the rest of the world has holidays. I have to accept it," she smiles. "However, we tend to grab our own little moments with little effort and planning”
Post-marriage the Ansaris have moved to Bengaluru, where Meraj works as Executive Chef with Sarovar Hotels and Resorts and Ayesha as Director, Human Resources with Dan Hospitality.
It is a hectic time with both husband and wife keeping long hours, but it helps that both have long years of acquaintance with the hospitality industry.
"She is very mature and understanding and that makes things easy," he says.
"He's a chef; he works when the rest of the world has holidays. I have to accept it," she smiles. "However, we tend to grab our own little moments with little effort and planning."
Like the time he surprised her on their first Valentine's Day together. "As usual, he had to work, and overtime at that, given that it was a special day. But he made the time to come home from work with a beautiful bouquet of red roses and then went back. I cherish those moments."
It's Ramzan right now, so she's laid out a spread for the evening Iftar party, including samosas, fruit juice, dahi vada for anyone who may be visiting. "It's important to make the most of every little moment we have together," she says.
So how has life changed after marriage? "I used to be this strong, collected woman but now I have become emotional. And that's a lovely thing. There's someone to go back to; someone watching out for me. It's not something I've been used to but I enjoy it very much," smiles Ayesha. "My outlook has changed in so many little ways. Like earlier on, I never believed in insurance! Why would a singleton like me with no family need it ? But now, I have moorings, someone to exchange moments with," she says.
At 37 and 38 respectively, it has been a delayed marriage by typical Indian standards. "True, but since we both have experienced life and struggle in our own way, we appreciate each other more," says Meraj. Ayesha is also appreciative of his large, warm and bustling family. "After being alone for so long, it's a rich and wonderful feeling to visit them, spend festivals with them, though we live by ourselves for most of the year," she says. While plans are afoot to start a family, Meraj is clear she has his support to manage baby and work as she sees fit. "She's always been an independent, working woman and if she wants to remain that way, why not? I will back her in every way that I can, and I am confident that she will do a great job of everything," he says.
by Kalyani Sardesai
