It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Corporate couple Ankesh and Meetu Goyal from Bhopal show us how it is very much possible to harmoniously blend in a modern marriage and career aspirations with the long-standing tradition of a joint family system
In a world where adjustment is seen as a strictly avoidable and highly disagreeable aspect of married life, this is one marriage that has embraced the word– and its ramifications–open-heartedly and willingly.
Little wonder then that Ankesh and Meetu Goyal (both 33) are such a tightly bonded pair, despite the rough and tumble of demanding jobs and their 4-year-old son Kiaan.
While Ankesh works with ISC Software Pvt Ltd as Manager (Business Analyst), Meetu has recently resumed her career full-time, after working from home for some time after her little one was born. Currently designated as GM (Business Development), Oga Technologies Pvt Ltd, it's a hectic time, managing home and work, but with a supportive husband and family rooting for her, she knows she can make it work.
Like most outstation students pursuing their MBA in Marketing and IT from the earliest batches of BIMHRD (2004 and 2005 respectively), both Ankesh and Meetu took their time finding their bearings around Pune. The schedule was demanding and both were determined to concentrate on their studies. “Little by little the interactions began, but they were mostly to 'clarify doubts and ask pointers,” reminisces Ankesh. “As seniors we generally watched over the juniors, and I would help out Meetu–and several others with their queries,” he says.
“That has always been his most attractive quality,” says Meetu. “His helping nature and willingness to go out of his way for people.” On his part, he appreciated her honesty and upfront ways. “She's a simple person and always speaks her mind,” he says.
Both found placements in satellite cities–Delhi and Noida, but even then, the penny did not drop. “Our conversations became a bit longer, but it was always over phone. Where was the time to meet? I had a hectic schedule with Nucleus Software Exports Ltd, while she had a similar one with Sify Technology,” says Ankesh.
So when did they actually grow closer? “It was around December 2007 when I was taking a short vacation with my family in Ludhiana before joining a new workplace in Hyderabad when the chats really intensified. We had much to share, and it was great fun to discuss things with each other. The conversation just seemed to flow,” says Meetu.
Even as she savoured their compatibility, she was keen to take it one step further and proposed to him in early Jan, 2008. “In the course of our usual late night call, I told him that I cared for him and would be happy to spend my future with him,” she says.
There was pin-drop silence. As he recovered from the surprise, Ankesh assured her that he liked her very much too, but would like to give it more time.
Over the next few days, they would gradually discuss how things would be after marriage. “I was very clear on the fact that I believed in the joint family system and that I came from a pretty traditional and orthodox home,” he says.
A point to be seriously pondered over–despite their common Agrawal roots– considering Meetu is a single child from a nuclear family in Ludhiana. “But I said that I would adjust and do my bit in co-existing peacefully with his brother's family and my in laws,” she says. A fortnight later, Ankesh accepted her proposal with the confidence that they were onto a great innings together.
Admittedly, Meetu's parents were concerned. “Like everyone else, they would have preferred me to stay closer post marriage–but Bhopal, Ankesh's hometown–was a 17 hours journey from Ludhiana. Plus, they wondered how I would fare in a joint family after having grown up in a carefree, modern setup,” says Meetu.
So when her dad finally met Ankesh, he told him that while he had no objection to the marriage, he was to make sure that his daughter would stay happy–always.
“Ankesh conveyed to dad that he totally understood that I was an only child with no siblings, and would, therefore, take care of me in every way. He assured dad that he was totally committed to supporting and caring for his partner in every way possible,” smiles Meetu. “Dad was convinced that he was the right match for me, and gave us our blessing.”
They finally tied the knot in March 2012 amidst a fun filled but traditional revelry.
I work a five day week, while she puts in six days. This means my Saturdays are free and I spend them completely with Kiaan - Ankesh
Though they've had their shares of ups and downs post marriage, it has largely been a smooth journey thanks to everyone doing their bit to get along. “My parents treat her like a daughter, not a daughter-in-law, while she has also accepted the changes in a sporting and understanding spirit,” says Ankesh. “Relationships are always a two-way street.”
And the adjustment has been worth it. “I was keen to pursue my career post marriage, and Ankesh was in agreement: he did not want a well-qualified wife not to work.
“I can go to work, relaxed in the knowledge that my son is being well-cared for. Everyone is understanding; they realise I have just started work again, and work must come first,” affirms Meetu. “Sure, I have responsibilities to fulfil at home, but I have immense support from both my husband and in-laws and everything is possible.”
She cites a recent example to bring home her point. “We are a fairly religious family and make it a point to mark all traditional occasions with pujas and havans. We had an important puja-cum-meal at home the other day–about 100 people had been invited. But it coincided with my meeting–and my family understood that work comes first. It was Ankesh who took a half day from work, and helped out, while I joined them in the evening,’’ says Meetu.
Quality time with family is carefully marked out. “I work a five-day week, while she puts in six days. This means my Saturdays are free and I spend them completely with Kiaan. In the evening we pick up Meetu from work, and it's off to a movie and dinner, usually. Sundays are ear-marked for family outings,” says Ankesh.
Parenting is an integral test of each couple's teamwork, and though Kiaan is young, he knows his limits! “He is particularly scared of mom; she's the strict one. I am way more lenient, but the minute he knows mom is coming to check on him, he will quickly drink up his milk and finish his meal,” laughs Ankesh.
And though little Kiaan is everyone's blue-eyed boy, it is in his happy and loving personality that the merits of a joint family best shine through. “He is a very sweet child, and very understanding that mamma has to go to work. Sure, he does have his little tantrums, but they are comparatively few. On the whole, he is a well-adjusted and generous little boy and I credit the elders in the family for that,” says Meetu, the proud mother.
Even as Ankesh chips in: “He is growing up with the right sanskaars–in a secure atmosphere. It is a blessing to have his grandparents right here.”
“Trust and loyalty are hugely important. When you have these qualities in your partner, everything else falls in place,” says Ankesh.
For her part, Meetu is appreciative of his down-to-earth nature and straightforward ways. “He had promised me that he would support me in every way possible, post marriage and he has,” she says. “He takes pride in my achievements, and I can share my professional issues with him, confident that he will give good advice.” Shared values include a deep and abiding belief in God and the system of family. “For both of us, family comes first.’’
At the end of the day, this is a relationship rooted in a long-standing friendship and a carefully-thought out decision to marry, after weighing the pros and cons. “We knew what we were doing–and it shows,” rounds off Meetu.
by Kalyani Sardesai
