It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
It’s a North meet South, a two-state marriage-but there’s no way you’d guess that how chilled out and in sync with each other, this young couple is. Kavya Pant and S Shridhar tell us more...
This relationship started the way most campus romances do. Girl and boy meet, get thrown together a lot (in this case they were both pursuing their MBAs in Marketing and IT from BIMM), discover they like each other a lot-and one of them pops the question. A familiar, comfortable trajectory.
“We had a lot of common friends, apart from being in the same dual together,” shares Kavya. “While we got along fine, we were just friends. It was the others who teased us about the other. We used to just smile and go along with that,” she says. All through the semester the status quo remained-until it was time to go home for the summer holidays. “He had left for the station by himself, much to my chagrin. I actually felt a pang that we were not to going to see each other for two months,” she says. “So I made a rush journey from Dange Chowk to the station. Luckily the train was late, and we did get to say good bye before the college shut down for the academic session.”
Plenty of time to mull over what they meant to each other.
But when they did start seeing each other, just about a week into their newly minted romance- Kavya began to feel 'suffocated.' Not her fault entirely, given that everyone on campus knew all about them, and the attention was overwhelming. So she asked to break up with her friend turned boyfriend.
Of course Shri was upset especially when “you know you are special to the other person... to go back to being ‘just friends’ is very, very tough.”
But he respected her decision-and gave her the time and space to figure out things for herself. “Within a couple of days, I regretted losing my closest friend. I missed him much more than I thought I would,” says Kavya.
They did get back together-stronger than ever before. “I was pretty clear that I wanted to settle down with Kavya once our placements were done,” he says.
Even so, there were the families to convince, given the disparity in cultural backgrounds. He’s a Telugu Brahmin from Hyderabad, she a North Indian Brahmin from Nainital, Uttarakhand. “My parents were initially very concerned about the differences. But I managed to convince them that we did know what we were doing, considering we had spent so much time together,” says Shridhar. At Kavya’s end, her mom had already met Sridhar in college where he had been introduced as a friend who ‘liked her.’
“When mom told dad, he asked him to come over and meet the family,” says Kavya. “The meeting was a success.”
The duo were wed in a big fat wedding in 2010-with an interesting amalgamation of both North and South Indian rituals.
Today, they are based in Raipur, Chhattisgarh with two lovely daughters-sixyear- old Nyraa and two-year-old Netra.
It’s a happy and busy home, as the couple juggles work, family and a myriad other responsibilities-but they wouldn’t have it any other way. In keeping with her qualifications and long standing dream, Kavya is running a pre-school called The Little Cocoon, while Shridhar is Dealers and Development Manager, Tata Motors.
Amidst all this, a simple questions stands out: just how tough was the adjustment post-marriage?
“Honestly, it was far from difficult. I am born and brought up in Raipur (Chhattisgarh) and for all practical purposes, I am a North Indian. So food was never an issue,” he says. For her part, Kavya is appreciative of her in-laws and their support-in helping with the kids-even as she walks the tightrope between home and work.
“People have made this big bogey about love versus arranged marriage. Between the two, an arranged shaad is always seen as the more viable option. But that’s not true. Love marriage has worked beautifully for the two of us-possibly because we knew each other well before marriage- and worked on our relationship accordingly,” says Sridhar. “And all meaningful relationships require you to put in time and effort.”
"Love marriage has worked beautifully for the two of us—possibly because we knew each other well before marriage-and worked on our relationship accordingly" — Sridhar
Both are vocal about appreciating the other’s strengths. “She’s straightforward and upfront. Apart from this, she’s very caring. These are great qualities according to me,” says Sridhar.
While Kavya lists out his hassle-free, down to earth attitude and friendliness as his finest features.
It helps that both are similarly friendly, extroverted and happy go lucky. “Neither of us is mushy and romantic, and it works,” laughs Kavya. “Yes, being a woman, I like little surprises off and now, so maybe he should take a hint.”
However, she is quick to point out that it’s the little things in the marriage that are actually the big things. “He helps out with the chores and is hands on with the girls. It helps me a lot,” she says.
On a serious note, both would name transparency and trust as the fulcrum of the relationship. “Also we are both particular about giving each other a fair amount of space,” says Sridhar. “Discord happens when the other person’s need for individuality is not respected,” he says.
Both are also particular about not letting fights linger. “It’s ok to have different opinions and ways of looking at things,” he says. “But fights must be concluded and quickly at that-in the interest of everyone concerned.”
Parenting is a crucial area of team-work, even more so when the kids are this young. “I am the strict parent, whereas daddy lets his little girls get their own way most of the time,” laughs Kavya. “But the balance works for all concerned. He is away a lot on tours, so I am the one who spends most of the time with the girls, so naturally, I have to establish the rules.”
So how do they spend quality time together- given the demands on their time?
“Well, movies and restaurants are family times with the kids accompanying us everywhere. So I would say the little pockets of time we get after dinner-or before breakfast-simply talking to each other, and sharing the happenings of the day, are the most special of all.”
“Communication at all times is hugely important, irrespective of how busy one is. We make it a point to keep that little channel of communication going, no matter how busy our day has been,” rounds off Sridhar. “And that is the mainstay of any marriage.”
by Kalyani Sardesai
