LOVED & MARRIED TOO : The business of togetherness

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Running a family business may seem like a matter of privilege, but this young corporate couple would like to underline that it's both—a blessing and a challenge. Abhishek and Aditi Kapoor are able to take it in their stride, given the solid foundation of their relationship. Two little boys-four-year old Armaan and two and a half year old Arjun complete the picture

Life is both hectic and happy for the Kapoors, even as they rush from one packed schedule to another-taking care of two little boys-aged four and two and a half respectively, running the family business-Aarkay Foods and simultaneously keeping abreast of the many social functions of an extended joint family in Ahmedabad. It would sometimes seem that 24 hours in a day are not enough, but then as Aditi points out: “Everything is doable if you have each other's support to put your best foot forward. Accept each other, ignore little irritants and concentrate on the bigger picture.”

Back to the beginning

Their story dates back to 2005-2007 whilst pursuing their MBA in international business at BIIB, Pune. Outgoing, dynamic students both, Aditi and Abhishek were on the Placement Assistance Team and had lots to share: common friends, joint tasks and responsibilities. She was president of the students' council, while he was on the editorial team. Gradually they began to hang out together, and found the conversation flowed easily and well: They were both Punjabis and each one’s nature complemented the others’.

“He is very friendly and outgoing, absolutely great company to be with. I am the quieter one. It worked well for us,” says Aditi.

Abhishek appreciated the hard-working young girl with a very rooted value system. “I really respect that in her. Besides, when you get to know each other over a period of two years, as opposed to an arranged marriage, you understand the person for what they are,” he says.

From sharing meals whenever their classes allowed them to visiting the local gurudwara together to helping each other out with little errands, the relationship progressed to the next logical level-talking marriage.

“A year down the line, he was like ‘Aren't we more than friends?’ While I agreed with him, we nevertheless decided to take more time, and see how our equation worked in the ‘real’ world...” shares Aditi.

In sometime, both passed out of college. While Aditi was placed with Avalon Research in Mumbai, Abhishek moved back to the family business in Ahmedabad. “This was the acid test of our relationship, so to speak. But he proved to be a great pal, very understanding and supportive. I knew then that we were onto a good thing,” she says. Both families agreed-shared (Punjabi roots helped!) and the duo were finally wed by the end of 2008. Post marriage, Aditi moved to Ahmedabad, working two years as a strategy manager in an engineering firm before joining the family business.

The nitty gritties of a marriage

“I would say the secret of a rewarding partnership is to let go of one's ego. Let the other person be, don't try to change them. In my case, I have been very lucky because both my husband and mother-in-law have been hugely supportive,” says Aditi. “Neither of them wanted me to give up working post my pregnancies. Having been a working woman herself, recently retired, his mother would keep telling me not to make the mistake of losing contact with the career front... and would help out all she could.”

Even so, she took a short break of 2.5 months and 8 months respectively after each of her boys were born. “I tried working part-time in the family business, but it really is a relentless, 24 X 7 affair. I had to get back to work full-time,” she says.

The pillars of a marriage
  • Letting the other person be, not trying to change them
  • Supporting each others' dreams
  • Taking little vacations at regular intervals
  • Retiring the ego-as far as possible
Balancing home and work

As of today, Aditi (33) is GM, Aarkay Foods, while Abhishek (34) is a Director. Established in 1982, Aarkay Foods is a leading manufacturer of Natural Food Ingredients and Additives supplying to leading Food Manufacturing companies in India and more than 20 countries in the Global Market. While the early operations began with Natural Food Colours as the main product line, today the product portfolio consists of an assortment of Cheese & Dairy Powders, Fruit & Vegetable Powders, Flavour Enhancers, Speciality and Functional Ingredients and a bigger portfolio of Natural Food Colours.

“On one hand, it's a blessing to be working for the business, due to the flexi timings. On the other hand, I have to report to Abhishek and he's a really strict boss ! He does not accept excuses or shortcuts, nor can I get away with lapses simply because I am his wife,” she says.

“Right now, the boys are very young. However, all the credit goes to Aditi in balancing both the home and office front,” says Abhishek. “For my part, I wanted her to carve her own niche professionally and help out with the boys when I can.” And, he insists, he helps with the housework too, though Aditi denies it vociferously! Both agree that it is a tough call, managing home and work-given the fact no matter what, you do tend to bring work and its associated problems home. "But when we are around the boys, we make it a point to attend to them, completely," says Aditi

“My mantra for married life is simple enough: walk away from conflict before it escalates and talk problems through before you retire for the day; never go to bed angry” — Abhishek

Bringing up babies

“They are that stage where the reservoirs of energy and masti are relentless,” says Abhishek. “And we have to be united as a team to take on all that parenthood entails. For starters, we never correct each other in front of them. When she's angry with the boys, I keep out of it and don't make the mistake of supporting them over her. Let them understand that her authority as a parent is unquestionable,” he stresses. “Also, either of us is a ‘good cop’ or ‘bad cop’ for the moment; it is never a good idea for both parents to be shouting at the same time. Instead, if one parent is angry, all the more reason for the other parent to be patiently listening to little problems!”

Amidst the rough and tumble of daily schedules, this is one family that loves to travel. “We are both travel buffs and make it a point to take little vacations together with the kids,” says Aditi. “People would say it's tough, but that's only a mindset. In fact, both our kids are comfortable with travelling in cars and flying on planes, and are by and large, non-fussy, happy travelling companions,” she grins.

A recent family vacation was at the Desert Festival of Kutch where the elder boy-Armaan’s eagerness to ride a camel all by himself reassured the couple of the confident and exploratory values that they want to instil in their children.

Togetherness is like this...

“My mantra for married life is simple enough: walk away from conflict before it escalates and talk problems through before you retire for the day; never go to bed angry!” smiles Abhishek. “Tolerance and a non-judgmental attitude are valuable qualities to have; appreciate your partner for who they are!” Little moments add to the joys of a relationship and every now and then, they enjoy a meal or coffee just by themselves. “A family business is an all-encompassing responsibility. You are never really off duty. But when you have a support system like mine, all dreams are possible,” rounds off Aditi.

by Kalyani Sardesai