It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Both of them are entrepreneurs in their own right, with their eye firmly on the road ahead. And while they are dedicated to their respective careers, their relationship commands equal attention. Priyanka Khandelwal Gupta (32) and Bandhan Gupta (35) on marriage, moments and mutual goals
It was love at first sight for him. And even as Bandhan Gupta’s father pointed her out to him at a party, asking him whether he would like to get married to someone like her, his answer was: not someone like her, but her.
Easier said than done though. Priyanka Khandelwal was an engineering student in Amravati while Bandhan had just returned to the city after completing his education in the US. She was a Marwari, and he a Gupta.
Nevertheless, the friendship went from strength to strength. The conversation flowed, there was a deeper connect between the two from the word go. Both were engineering students with a yen for entrepreneurship; both wanted big things from life and were prepared to work for it. There was much to appreciate about each other as well.
“He’s knowledgeable and logical. His decisions are generally fair and transparent. His business acumen is sharp and there is so much to learn from him,” says Priyanka. “Besides, he has a very clear sense of right from wrong. There is no confusion with regard to what he wants to do.”
On his part he appreciates her “honesty, sincerity and innocence”. While he was initially smitten by her looks and personality, he slowly got to appreciate her other sterling qualities. “I really like how she conducts herself and her relationships with everyone else,” he says.
Poles apart, initially, their personalities have drawn from each other in the 13 years that they have known each other or be it five years of courtship or eight years of marriage not to forget the bringing up of their son, seven-year-old Dharm. “It is a natural process; as you live together, there’s a lot you can imbibe from each other,” expresses Bandhan.
As things stand today, Priyanka is the founder- owner of Progressive Edge Day Care and school, behavioural skills trainer and design thinking expert. While Bandhan owns companies of his own, some of them, Saitec Scientific Systems that is into waste management, Robo Infra Engineers Pvt. Ltd. which is into robotics and TNA Advisory Pvt. Ltd., which is a financial advisory.
“We are both ambitious and positive about growing in our careers, as well as staying committed to the little home we have built together,” says Bandhan. “It is a good partnership.” And to think, they almost didn’t make it together.
From the day of the party till he actually got her number and got talking, a good few months had gone by. As far as he was concerned, he was relatively set, given that he was done with his education, having complete his engineering in the US even as his family owned an automobile dealership. But Priyanka was still pursuing her computer engineering and her parents were not exactly happy at the prospects of an inter-cultural match. “Besides, Amravati is a small place and there was talk,” she narrates. Despite their efforts, the limbo continued. Eventually, Priyanka completed her engineering and moved to Pune for work and study. This was a much-needed break that afforded her the bandwidth to explore her career options and decide what she wanted to do. “From the outset, I was clear that I did not want a career in coding,” she says. “I was always creative and wanted to eventually branch out on my own."
One door led to another, and starting with a contractual- time job with Wipro, she got her big career break as Human Capital Manager with Credit Suisse in Pune. Now on a firm footing professionally, and with the clarity of purpose that comes from having made it thus far on her own—it was the perfect time to meet Bandhan again. “As he realised that I am happy settling in Pune, he had given up his family business and shifted to Pune to start afresh. When we finally met, we hit it off once more. There was much to talk about. The break of eight to 10 months had done us both a world of good,” she says. “By then, there was a serenity and sense of acceptance in him that said it was okay if we didn’t married, but his love for me is eternal. He had always been a great guy, but this maturity was something else.”
Soon it was time for her to go to Singapore for a work-related project. “And that’s when my parents got to know we were in touch again. After a lot of struggle, they gave us their blessings, finally. We got married in 2009, almost as soon as I returned from Singapore and today my parents are so happy to see us together,” she says.
Now living in Baner, Pune, their lives are busy and happy and they wouldn’t have it any other way. “My in-laws live with us and a joint family setup is quite a positive support system,” says Priyanka. “The trick is to look at the big picture and ignore the smaller things.”
Far from being a minefield of issues, considering their disparate backgrounds, she actually found it easier to adjust in the Gupta household. “I have gone from a more conservative setup into a liberal one,” she smiles. “I have a comfortable and transparent relationship with my in-laws. We even party together.”
A lion’s share of the credit, she says, goes to Bandhan because “he’s fair and objective when issues crop up. That’s a big plus, and makes things easy for everyone. His idea of equilibrium over equality is brilliant. A couple should target to maintain the equilibrium which might require them to switch roles at times.”
Both work punishing hours as their respective businesses grow, and as such, work-life balance is a myth. “I travel and so does she,” says Bandhan. “Long, erratic schedules are a way of life at the moment, and it’s fine. However, every now and then, we rejuvenate ourselves over a cup coffee or a glass of wine and talk. Those few hours with each other are a complete charge.”
Managing conflict isn’t a big deal for either of them. “We both accept our fault and move on,” says Bandhan. Even as Priyanka adds: “The one thing I have learnt from him is to stick to the facts on the hand, and the present moment. It is never a good idea to rake up the past.”
Besides, she says, marriage is essentially about owning change. “As you grow and absorb newer experiences, you change, and so does your spouse. This is especially true of us entrepreneurs where the learning curve is so much steeper. What your role as a spouse is to motivate and direct the change—in the right direction,” she shares.
“As you grow and absorb newer experiences, you change, and so does your spouse. This is especially true of us entrepreneurs where the learning curve is so much steeper. What your role as a spouse is to motivate and direct the change—in the right direction”
— Priyanka
Like most young parents, they are keen to bring up their bright and enthusiastic little boy with the right blend of sensitivity and strength. “He goes to the day care with me, and returns with me. My mother- in law helps with him, while I take care of his studies,” says Priyanka. “He is all of seven now and it is just the right time to teach him discipline, focus and commitment. We both of us are health freaks and particular about eating right. He is learning that from us, and it makes me so happy”, she adds.
She further adds, “He’s a sensitive child and it’s important to bring him up with the right stimuli. He tends to take things to heart, and that’s something we are both working on. It is here that Bandhan’s boarding school experience helps.
Bandhan chips in that it isn’t always easy given that they are both young parents. “Each day brings a new learning with it. We read up on info, draw from experience and keep him gainfully engaged with chess, drawing and singing.”
Amidst other things, Bandhan says a marriage is essentially about sharing similar values and dreams with your partners. “She is my best friend and sounding board. Our togetherness and understanding of each other comes from the sheer amount of time we have spent together. We are both passionate about progress, and it is lovely to share dreams with each other.”
By Kalyani Sardesai
