It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
You've heard of ties that bind, Sometimes there are ties that set you free to pursue your dreams, safe in the knowledge that you are loved and believed in. Married for 14 years, Sameer and Ruchira Gokhale (both 39) share just such a bond. Erstwhile corporate citizens (he a banker, she an HR professional), both have chosen to follow their hearts instead. While she's a self-employed consultant for Diversity and Inclusion, he's embarked on the entrepreneurial project of his dreams: ‘Unleash’, a boarding facility for dogs in Pune's Mundhwa area-a business that combines livelihood with his passion for animals
Sameer Gokhale's day begins at 5.30 am even as he readies to walk his dogs up the hill. Returning sometime later, he nevertheless reiterates that he loves his life and work, and wouldn't have it any other way. “Heck, work does not feel like work when you follow your passion,” he exhales.
His spouse and best friend Ruchira couldn't agree more. After all, it was she who was the first to turn her back on a 9 to 5 set up, choosing to freelance as a consultant, in a very different area: diversity and inclusion. “It is of great interest to me as to how businesses benefit from bringing in assorted talents and cultures,” she says. Even as both husband and wife follow their hearts and dreams, it is perhaps a fitting milestone in a journey of togetherness spanning 14 years.
The couple first met in Pune's MIT school of Management. It wasn't a classic case of love at first sight. “The true story was I liked someone else. Ruchira was my friend and shoulder to cry on. But as time went on, I realised we were meant to be together,” grins Sameer.
As people, they couldn't be more different. She's the more quiet and reserved of the two, with only a handful of close friends, whereas he has a thousand friends, and clearly the more talkative. Still, there was a lot to bring them together.
“We are both fauji kids. And as you may know, the armed forces have a culture of their own. Two fauji kids understand each other in a manner that someone from another background can't. It is a world in its own self,” says Sameer.
Their caste differences did not faze their parents. “I am a Maratha, he's a Brahmin. But it did not make any difference to us, because we had a cultural binding already,” says Ruchira.
“Only thing, I had to have a balvivah (child marriage) at 25 because her parents weren't exactly amused at the prospect of having to wait for me to settle down and so on,” laughs Sameer.
Post marriage, though, there was a bit of separation given that he was working with HDFC Mumbai, whereas she had a job in Pune. After the initial work and travel, they finally settled down in Pune after their daughter Janhavi (12) was born. Post marriage, Ruchira took a sabbatical from work-which was not seen as a desirable thing to do-to bring up their little girl. “It was my decision completely; I wanted to be there for my daughter full-time in her initial years and I had Sameer's support to do the same,” she says. Subsequently, though, she rejoined work, with Cummins.
Janhavi, an all-rounder in the makingSameer has now given up a flourishing career as a banker to follow his childhood calling: looking after animals and making them comfortable. “After having worked with the best brands, including HDFC, HSBC and Reliance, I realised that it was now or never. I had been branch manager with HDFC, Senior Vice President HSBC and Assistant Vice President, Reliance.
My career was great, but I craved something else. I had wanted to be a vet, but my paediatrician dad was having none of it. However, animals, particularly dogs, remained a passion for me. And I had to take that risk to do something for them, and be with them. Plenty of research and number crunching later, I zeroed in upon the idea of a boarding facility for dogs.”
Aptly titled 'Unleash', this facility allows owners to travel leaving their precious pets behind. “Much as we love our pets, there comes a time
when we have to leave them behind for a bit. Here's where a modern, up to date facility run by loving hands makes a difference,” he says.
Bonded by love and mutual belief: Sameer and RuchiraFrom acclimatisation programmes for dogs to monitoring their health, diets and play times, Unleash does it all. “Sometimes dogs who have never been left by themselves fall into depression. We have to reassure the parents that they will be fine. It takes them time to trust us-particularly the Indian breed of dogs, who have faced a lifetime of abuse. On the other hand, learning to get by in a group is an easier process for pedigreed dogs who have been house dogs for generations. Each animal is an individual though, and needs to be handled with care. Luckily, most respond to love over time,” he says.
So what was Ruchira's reaction to her spouse planning to quit a high paying job to do this? “Honestly speaking, it did not take me one second to say yes,” she says. “Being self-employed, I understand the joy of working for oneself. By no means is it a dream to be underestimated.”
Yes, the challenges, particularly, the logistical ones are real, given that they are a nuclear family. “From the beginning though, we were clear that we did not want our parents to be babysitters for Janhavi. It isn't fair. They have lives of their own, though, of course, they are always ready and willing to back us in times of need,” says Ruchira.
To add to their daughter, these days, responsibility involves looking after groups of mischievous dogs-three of their own. “Stepping out for dinner together is a big deal, and usually not doable. Yes, we have maids and helping hands. But looking after lives is a 24X7 responsibility,” she adds. A quiet evening over a drink together is their way to finding ‘us’ time.
Both Ruchira and Sameer are united on the fact that they would want their daughter to be an all-rounder. “Studies are important yes, but to the extent that she does her best. But so are other aspects of her personality. Honestly, I would rather have a smart kid, equipped with vital life skills and the ability to get along with others, rather than an overtly, studious one,” expresses Sameer.
“He may seem like an easy-going person, but he's a disciplinarian and particular about certain aspects of her personality. For instance, he is firm about helping me out with certain chores. They aren't a lot, but they help make her responsible,” points out Ruchira. “On the other hand, I tend to be more worried about her health, rest and diet.”
“Marriages are complex, and change is a constant fact for both partners. Still, if I had to zero in on a few essentials, it would be: love, trust and space. These are vital to any relationship. Personally, I love travelling solo or with a girlfriend, and Sameer is completely game for it”
- Ruchira
“Marriages are complex, and change is a constant fact for both partners. Still, if I had to zero in on a few essentials, it would be: love, trust and space. These are vital to any relationship. Personally, I love travelling solo or with a girlfriend, and Sameer is completely game for it,” she says. “Responsibilities are shared, and so is parenting.”
Conflict management is another arena that each couple has to work out for themselves. “I am the one saying sorry most of the time,” chortles Sameer, and Ruchira agrees. “I have to give it to him. He has the largeness of spirit to not to make a big deal of certain potentially serious differences. At the end of the day, each one has to decide what works for them.”
And as the Gokhales ready themselves for yet another busy, noisy and laughter filled day with their dogs, it is evident, this works for them.
By Kalyani Sardesai
