It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Both commercial artists and advertising professionals, they are united by a singular love of art, design, photography and visual communication. Rugwed Deshpande, Director, Setu Advertising, and his better half Shilpa on the journey of their marriage
Fifteen years is a long enough time for a relationship to transit from frothy young romance to comfortable camaraderie. The early years of discovery, adjustment and struggle gradually give way to a familiar yet rewarding routine. Rugwed and Shilpa Deshpande (both 39) would know all of this and more as they've spent most of their adult lives together.
With Shilpa all set to branch out as an entrepreneur with "Vismaya", her new line of hand-crafted bags, independent of the family's advertising firm, it is a proud milestone for a relationship rooted a shared affinity for design and art. "This is one factor that remains constant despite the march of time," says Rugwed.
This love story was scripted on the backdrop of Abhinav Kala Mahavidyalaya, one of Pune's most reputed fine arts and design college. Though Rugwed and Shilpa were two years apart and studied in different branches of the college, he spotted her on the grounds of the Tilak Road branch that served as a common exam centre for the students of different years. "My first impression: it would be nice to talk to her," reminisces Rugwed. But that wasn't to be until sometime later, as the pace of studies was quite hectic. "I remember asking a friend common to both our groups as to anyone else would be interested in taking up photography as an elective subject. No one did at that point," he says.
So that was that-until the next year, when Rugwed secured admission to IIT Mumbai, for his Masters in Industrial Design course. "The friend got back and told that his friend Shilpa Kulkarni was interested in photography. She was two batches junior-would I help her ?"
Rugwed made the connection instantly-establishing that here at last was a chance to speak to the girl he had liked last year. So despite being in Mumbai, he would make the weekend trip to Pune and the duo would explore the fascinating aspects of photography. "In those days, I was involved with a project that sought to engage volunteers to help the children in orphanages as these kids deal with several developmental issues due to limited exposure to social situations. She assisted me on it, and we became friends. Gradually, though, the conversation moved on from photography to other things," he says
Rugwed and ShilpaWhat attracted him most about her was her sheer honesty and straightforward demeanour. "She is always very clear about what's on her mind. I found that quality both endearing and cute. As time went on, and I entered the world of advertising through Setu-thereby being exposed to the world of glamour and strategic packaging- I came to respect this trait of hers even more. It's such a pure and innocent aspect of her and I wouldn't ever want that to change," he says.
On her part, Shilpa points to his "aura" and his ability to attract people. "I wasn't a very career- oriented girl, initially. But as I got closer to him, I realised how important it is to utilize one's potential to the optimum. He is knowledgeable, intelligent and creative."
Though their personalities are opposite, they are complementary of each other. "I am the more outgoing one, whereas she is more patient. She likes to go with the flow, whereas I am pretty analytical. I guess it works well this way," he says.
Despite so much going for them-including their Maharashtrian roots-it wasn't smooth sailing for their nuptials. "Our horoscopes did not match and our families were worried. They asked us to reconsider. Nevertheless, Shilpa and I decided to go ahead-informed and conscious of the fact that we had to make our relationship work, come what may" he says.
'One thing we both believe in is exposing the children to a variety of stimuli without limiting them to a particular structure. We want their creativity to grow organically and naturally'
— Shilpa
Initially, Shilpa joined him in the art department at Setu. But two boys-Abeer (11) and Aseem (5) followed soon enough-and she decided to reassess her priorities for a few years at least.
"Advertising is a demanding, competitive field. As a director in the company, Rugwed's responsibilities require him to keep a killer of a schedule. Client meets, conferences, creative strategies- there's so much to pack in a day. In such a scenario, I thought it's best for one parent at least to be constantly with the children," she says.
Even though she's clearly the more hands on parent, Rugwed chips in whenever he can. "One thing we believe in is exposing the children to a variety of stimuli without limiting them to a particular structure. We want their creativity to grow organically and naturally-through exposure to poetry, theatre and art. Luckily Pune is great for all of this. We watch some great movies together as they are a wonderful source of infotainment. The more experiences they gather, the more enriched their personalities will be," he says.
Apart from this, he is also big on simplifying complex concepts on life and art beyond textbook definitions. "This is essential for the children's growth," he says.
Meanwhile, Shilpa, being the only female in a male-dominated set-up is firm about the boys helping out with house-hold chores. "To that extent, I insist on each one washing their own utensils post meals," she says.
So how do the couples spend quality time given the demands of their schedules?
Rugwed, Shilpa, Abeer and Aseem"Honestly, I would say that quality time is a pretty over-rated concept. These days, we are way too conscious and burdened by it. Any time spent in each other's company, happily and spontaneously, is meaningful and valuable," expresses Rugwed. So be it a pillow fight with the boys-or an impromptu lunch date with Shlipa, he believes that little things add up to the big picture. "When you invest in these small moments, everything falls into place," he says.
Similarly, Sundays are about coming up with something interesting for lunch and spending time together as a family-without the mobile!
Apart from this, one ritual he does follow is helping her choose bags and jewellery with his keen understanding of design and visual aesthetics. "I quite enjoy shopping for her," he smiles. "It is an activity we both look forward to, and bond over."
Given the pressures of work and two young kids, how do they manage to resolve fights when they happen? "Honestly, we have been together so long that there are hardly any fights," shares Shilpa. "Both of us have our own way of managing the conflict. While I have always been a great believer in talking things out, over time, I have come to realise that his way of not talking about subjects we don't agree on also has its own set of merits, "she smiles.
With her younger son all of five, Shilpa believes the time is ripe to head back to work-but in a direction slightly different from her previous stints at work. "With some planning and research I have come up with my own line of stylish and well-designed bags. They will be put on online for cataloguing and sale soon enough," she says.
Excited as she is about this new venture, she gives full credit to Rugwed for supporting her all the way. "He is very encouraging of my talent. We both believe that every lady should have something meaningful of her own, beyond home and children, and with Aseem slightly older, I can devote enough time to this new venture," she says.
So, what according to them, are the building blocks of a marriage? While Shilpa would root for trust, Rugwed says respect is the most crucial factor. "When you respect your spouse for who they are, you lay the best possible foundation for a marriage," he says.
By Kalyani Sardesai
