It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
A long-standing and harmonious partnership is based on continuous adjustment, adaptability and willingness to respond to the need of the situation. Married for 18 years, corporate couple Arti and Pankaj Gadgil tell us about their journey together. Currently based in Mumbai, he's Joint General Manager, ICICI Bank (BKC), Mumbai, while she has switched tracks from engineering to music!
This love story was first scripted in 1992 on the campus of the Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Pune, where both Arti Kulkarni and Pankaj Gadgil were both pursuing their engineering degrees. He was one batch senior, and was studying mechanical, while she was in E&TC, but a shared interest in music and theatre brought them together.
From the outset there was much in common: a love of the performing arts, seriousness about academics, and their simple but solid Maharashtrian roots. Yes, they were different alright, as two individuals are bound to be, but they were the sort of pleasant differences that made them compatible. “He speaks little, is calm and composed, but nevertheless very straightforward,” says Arti. “On the other hand, I am talkative, happy go lucky and spontaneous.”
Besides which, he was palpably different from the boys of Pune, given that he was born and brought up in New Delhi. “For my part, I was born and brought up in Pune. Common interests meant a common group, and there were many occasions for him to visit my home (he was living in the hostel) for practice and rehearsals. Similarly, whenever his mother came down to Pune she would invite us, his friends for meals,” Arti says.
Gradually, but steadily, the relationship grew from strength to strength. “It wasn't only the fact that she was a sincere girl with a melodious voice that was attractive and engaging, but everything about her: the discipline and simplicity of her background, her abiding belief in keeping relationships together that brought us closer.”
On completion of engineering, he decided to pursue a management degree at PUMBA, whereas she was offered a job with KPIT as a software engineer. “This was a bit of a tough phase, as my parents were keen that I marry soon, whereas his parents were first keen on him settling down before marriage, as he was very young,” says Arti.
Finally, after a bit of waiting, they were wed in 1999 at 24 and 25 respectively. “From the outset, we were conscious of the fact that we had married early and would have to struggle for a bit, but we were prepared for it,” says Pankaj.
From the very beginning of their married life, Arti and Pankaj shared a home with his parents, something they believe brought them closer as a family. Nevertheless, Delhi was a far cry from Pune-and Arti took her time settling down. “I had quit my work initially, but took up work again with IGI Infotech. It was here that I made a career switch to corporate training as it would give me the bandwidth to manage home and work,” she says.
Despite their long years of courtship, marriage was a revelation and demanded a different version of their earlier selves. “I realised he was a workaholic, extremely focused and driven on making a mark in his career. In such a scenario, I was happy to take a bit of a backseat-especially after our daughter Mallika (now 16) was born. Luckily I had other hobbies to sustain me-especially my love of music.”
A trained Hindustani classical music singer, Arti would make it a point to sing every chance she got: at social clubs and gatherings, and eventually professionally. “From classical to light, Bollywood music, I can sing a wide range of songs with ease and joy,” she says. It is something that sustained her through their frequent postings to different cities, and family demands.
And though Pankaj is busy-especially in his current designation as Joint General Manager ICICI Bank (Bandra Kurla Complex)-he joins her each chance he gets. “I always believe it is a big plus for couple to share hobbies,” he says. “And even if they can't, respect and support for each other's dreams and passions is important.”
Despite their hectic schedule, Sundays are exclusively ear-marked as family time. “We like spending time together, it is more important to us than other social functions,” says Arti.
Quality time together includes long vacations and a shared appetite for travel. “As a family we have been to so many different countries including China, Europe, Hong Kong and Macau. Within the country too, there is hardly a destination spot that we have not visited. Travel is important, it really opens up your avenues,” says Arti.
“Differences are a part of married life, but how you deal with them makes all the difference. How you resolve a conflict is situational-sometimes you talk it out, sometimes you back off the important thing is to move forward”
− Pankaj
Like everyone else, the couple has their ups and downs, but both are particular about not letting negatives persist. “It helps that I am more composed as opposed to her expressive, forthcoming ways. Differences are a part of married life, but how you deal with them makes all the difference. How you resolve a conflict is situational-sometimes you talk it out, sometimes you back offthe important thing is to move forward. Each stage of life demands you to adapt and take on different roles and positions-that is how a partnership works,” he says.
Both have much to appreciate about the other. “He is a great decision maker, and has a lot of clarity of thought,” she says. Whereas he attributes their happy family life to her understanding and care. “Despite being held up at work several times, she has never held it against me,” he says.
Parenting is an important arena of togetherness. “Though I am more with my daughter, she is very attached to him. He helps her with studies and attends her PTA meetings, no matter how busy he is,. And on Sundays, father and daughter are together doing their own thing,” says Arti.
Both are firm about instilling certain basic values. “Doing well in studies is fine; but we want Mallika to grow up as a fine, responsible and well-grounded human being. I like to stress upon importance of punctuality, hard-work, sincerity and respect for others,” says Pankaj.
Given the rough and tumble of the corporate world, as well as the pressures of city life, he would advocate having a heart to heart conversation with one's fiance about delegation, aspirations and priorities. “It helps to have this talk before hand, so that the picture is clear to both parties,” he says.
At the end of the day, both believe that trust is the very bedrock of a marriage. “Trust is a big thing. It is many little things. Believe in your spouse, have faith in their abilities and trust them in matters big and small. When you have that, everything else falls into place,” rounds off Arti.
By Kalyani Sardesai
