Making friends with the idea of using people is taking a wrong step from the very beginning. Friendship has to be a sharing. If you have something, share it—and whosoever is ready to share with you is a friend
Every year on 5 August, people celebrate World Friendship Day. Friends are encouraged to express their beautiful feelings of friendship through messages on mobile phones and on electronic mail. Individually I can find that my life is full of friends and I feel really, really rich.
It is beautiful to feel that you have friends in the world. This feeling must be nourished and nurtured in every possible way. The world media can do this very effectively if it highlights such news more than the bad news that vitiates our life. We are already being burdened by enormous madness and misery created by the politicians in the world! There are storms and storms of greed, lust, anger, violence, torture and terrorism. It is becoming very difficult to protect a small burning lamp of friendship and love in such storms.
Gautama the Buddha had declared that he would come to the world again as a Friend after 25 centuries; perhaps he could foresee what was going to be needed today. Osho created his commune of brotherhood of the citizens of the whole world called commune — a meeting place for friends. He declared himself a Kalyanamitra — a Benevolent Friend.
We— his disciples, lovers and friends — must remember this and keep reminding each other. We must protect this tiny lamp of love.
This should be our prime concern and meditation. Our life is worth living only when it is throbbing and pulsating in the cool breeze of friendship. Be welcoming and grateful to it but first, one needs to learn the art of being friendly to oneself. You cannot be friendly to others if you are not friendly to yourself first.
In the Dhammapada, the Way of the Buddha, Osho makes a clear statement and gives a perspective about friendship and love: 'Making friends with the idea of using people is taking a wrong step from the very beginning. Friendship has to be a sharing. If you have something, share it—and whosoever is ready to share with you is a friend. It is not a question of need. It is not a question that when you are in danger a friend has to come to your aid. That is irrelevant—he may come, he may not come, but if he doesn't come, it is perfectly okay. It is his decision to come or not to come. You don't want to manipulate him; you don't want to make him feel guilty. You will not have any grudge. You will not say to him, "When I was in need you didn't turn up—what kind of friend are you?"’
‘What we call love is more animalistic than human. Friendship is absolutely human. It has something for which there is no in-built mechanism in your biology; it is non biological'
Friendship is not something of the marketplace. Friendship is one of those rare things, which belong to the temple and not to the shop. But you are not aware of that kind of friendship; you will have to learn it. Friendship is great art. Love has natural instincts behind it. Friendship has no natural instincts behind it. Friendship is something conscious; love is unconscious.
What we call love is more animalistic than human. Friendship is absolutely human. It has something for which there is no in-built mechanism in your biology; it is non-biological. Hence, one rises in friendship; one does not fall in friendship. It has a spiritual dimension.
There is no need to think for the whole future. Think in terms of the moment and present. Live in the present. If this moment is full of friendship and the fragrance of friendship, why be worried about the next moment. It is bound to be of higher, deeper quality. It will bring the same fragrance to the higher altitude. There is no need to think about it – just live the moment in deep friendship.
Friendship need not to be addressed to anyone in particular; that is also a rotten idea – that you have to be friends with certain person. Just to be friendly. Rather than creating friendship, create friendliness. Let it become a quality of your being, a climate that surrounds you, so you are friendly with whomsoever you come in contact.
This whole existence has to be befriended! And if you can befriend existence, existence will befriend you a thousand fold. It returns to you in the same coin, but multiplied. It echoes you that my world was full of friendship and really rich.
by Swami Chaitanya Keerti
