It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Dentists and professionals Dr Sameer Thukral and Dr Aliya Sayed are living proof of the fact that cultural and religious differences, most touted as the greatest deal-breakers, don’t really stand in the way of trust, understanding and true love
Like most young couples, Drs Sameer Thukral and Aliya Sayed share experiences, moments and a value system. Noteworthy, perhaps— that both are known to repeat the following sentence, every now and then. “Being educated is not the same as being cultured.”
One guesses they know what they are talking about. How else would they find their moorings in an inter-religious marriage—widely presented as the numero uno reason for people of different cultural backgrounds not to sign up for the journey of a lifetime together. But Aliya and Sameer did just that three years ago and found both— marital happiness and true companionship. And no, religion did not get in the way. Perhaps the quiet acceptance has something to do with their common medical training and professional education; perhaps their respective cosmopolitan backgrounds have helped as well.
“Perhaps,” concedes Sameer. “But at the end of the day, the quality and momentum of each relationship is decided by the communication between two people. Whatever your issues, you need to be able to talk to each other about them. And that is that.”
Aliya and Sameer first met at a medical conference in 2008 in Bengaluru. They had several common friends, and came from the same college—MA Rangoonwala Dental College on Pune’s Azam Campus. While he was pursuing his MDS, she was working towards her BDS. First impression of him? “He was talkative, and how,?” recollects Aliya with a smile. “We were part of a circle and we had ordered biryani. But he kept talking so much that none of us could leave the table.” For a young woman of few words, Sameer was a study in contrast.
But over the next few meetings they were drawn to each other. “The conversation flowed Pics: Yusuf Khan March 1-15, 2017 / Corporate Citizen / 51 freely, despite the inherent differences in our personalities,” says Sameer. “She is committed, serious and passionate about all that she undertakes. I was particularly amazed and impressed with her love of animals. She helps out strays all the time, hopes to open an animal shelter one day, and I think that’s quite admirable.” For her part, Aliya liked his helpful and open nature. “Despite his intelligence, he’s not shrewd and calculating. He’s simple and child-like, and that’s what is most wonderful about him. What you see is what you get,” she says. He also played the drums very well. And as they say, a hobby always makes a person more interesting. Despite having found common ground, it helped that both took their time knowing each other—and making sure to complete their professional training first.
All hell did not break loose: a quiet wedding and a harmonious marriage. “While we always had this feeling that our parents would be hugely sceptical, given the Hindu-Muslim backgrounds, when push came to shove, they were actually quite supportive,” says Sameer.
Maybe because Sameer’s dad—noted dentist Dr Naresh Thukral—had enough time to get used to the forthcoming nuptials and the son’s choice of partner. “I am sure he must have had his reservations initially. None that he voiced though. He was happy that we were putting our respective degrees first,” he says. Ditto with Aliya’s folks.
So when they finally did talk marriage, neither side of the family put up a fuss. “Also, if there were any concerns or criticisms offered by relatives, none of them reached us. Both sets of parents took them in their stride—and dealt with them on their level,” says Sameer. In 2013, they had a court marriage followed by a reception— and it was as simple as that.
Post-marriage though, both have accepted each other’s way of life. “Though neither of us is overtly religious, I do take off in the afternoons to say my namaz. No one remarks over it—and whether it’s Eid or Diwali we have family and friends over,” shares Aliya. “I think it’s more fun that way— celebrating two sets of festivals instead of one. But then, that’s how we were both brought up—we were taught to respect different ways of life.”
However, Sameer is quick to point towards both her magnanimity and generosity in adjusting to his family and home. “She takes an interest in finding out more about our traditions, and participating fully.” Even as Aliya would point out that he is patient and understanding. “It makes things a lot easier that way,” she says.
“Though neither of us is overtly religious, I do take off in the afternoons to say my namaz. No one remarks over it—and whether it’s Eid or Diwali we have family and friends over”- Aliya
“I would say it’s crucial to respect each other’s point of view, whether or not one agrees with it,” says Sameer. Aliya chips in: “Neither of us impose our will on the other.” Both work together in the family clinic, which gives them plenty of time together. Fortunately, that has not resulted in conflict as both have separate areas of specialisation: she’s a root canal specialist, whereas implants are his zone.
At home, Sameer insists Aliya calls the shots all the way. “I am quite a lazy guy as far as chores are concerned and am happy to leave them to her,” he grins. “Besides, like most women she is very particular about wanting things to be a particular way and so I let her be. “However, they have a cook and that helps. And no, food has not proved to be a point of conflict either. “We are both foodies, and continue to be so, despite Aliya turning veg due to her love of animals.”
Quality time consists of watching movies and taking off on long vacations together near about their anniversary that falls in May every year. “It’s an annual ritual and gives us time and space to bond,” he says. When it comes to fights though, both admit to being similarly hot-tempered. However, Sameer insists he’s the one to make the conciliatory first move. “I say sorry; and things usually get better,” he says.
Though they haven’t yet made up their minds about extending their family—Sameer is clear that if and when it happens, it will be a joint responsibility. “No shirking of responsibilities there, even if I do so with housework. And with regard to career decisions, I will support her whatever she chooses to do.”
by Kalyani Sardesai
