It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Sixteen years post their inter-religious wedding, Shehnaz Husein and Anmol Chawla’s relationship is testimony to the sheer strength of mutual trust and faith in keeping it smooth sailing. “Honestly, life is as simple as you make it,” says Shehnaz on their diverse cultural backgrounds. (She’s a Bohri and he a Punjabi.) While conventional gyaan might have predicted a stormy journey, theirs has not been a dramatic or difficult journey, thanks to a shared belief in maturity and love. This is how they tell their story...
They hadan Arya Samaj wedding: short, sweet and dignified. While there was revelry and fun, it was far from a big fat wedding. No discord or nervousness between the families either. And definitely no theatrics. If weddings stood for the personalities of the couple concerned, Shehnaz Husein and Anmol Chawla's nuptials would have spoken volumes for the people they are: assured, straightforward and completely focused on what they believe is important.
"If you love and take care of each other-that's all you need, " says Shehnaz. Yes, she admits, there were parental concerns over religious differences. "But at 24 and 26 respectively, we were settled in careers and knew what we wanted. I was a journalist working with The Indian Express, he was a software engineer in a reputed company. We were educated and independent. Still, we wanted to marry with our parents' blessings. We convinced them. They saw it our way, and agreed, wholeheartedly."
Both knew each other from the very beginning, as they'd grown up with a common friend circle. But, it wasn't until much later that they began seeing each other. "Dating someone in your mid-twenties, even if it's an old friend, is very different from college. You see them more clearly for the people they are. As Anmol and I began talking, I realised we could have a future together," says Shehnaz.
In fact, it was mom who once casually dropped a hint that perhaps I could consider Anmol as he was such a ‘great guy’ —Shehnaz
They are different; she is outgoing, bubbly-while he's quiet. He likes Hollywood, and it's Bollywood for her. He chooses his words carefully, and she is spontaneous and impulsive. Such differences add value to the equation, instead of taking away from it. "In fact, it was mom who once casually dropped a hint that perhaps I could consider Anmol as he was a 'great guy'," smiles Shehnaz. Sixteen years and two children (Sahil-14; Ruhaan-12) later, there are no regrets. Only memories. Mostly happy ones. "The loss of her father and the birth of our children are unforgettable memories, leaving a deep impact on our lives.
For Shehnaz, dad was everything, and his passing away left a void in her life. ``God put me in her life just three months before this, as if to say clearly to her that he was taking away someone who had brought her into this world and held her hand till that moment-but he was also completing the circle of life by replacing him with someone, who would hold her hand for the rest of her life," shares Anmol. "When we became parents, holding your newborn child is an indescribable feeling and an unforgettable memory."
"I did not feel the pressure of adjustment post marriage," says Shehnaz. "Both of us are spiritually inclined as opposed to being religious. So religion was never an issue. Coming from cosmopolitan backgrounds, we were celebrating all festivals together. So our life together progressed harmoniously. Both of us believe in caring for each other's families. My mother-in-law lives with us from the very beginning and has been a huge support." Both are vegetarians too, but they were so, out of choice, well before marriage. "Both of us are foodies and love trying out different dishes," she smiles. What helped, was the way Anmol had been raised by his mom-dad and two elder sisters. "They did not make a big deal of the fact that he was a boy. Therefore, he is grounded, mature, evolved and more than willing to help with household chores," she says. Anmol is equally appreciative of his spouse. Ask him to describe her, and words just flow. "She is the most loving, positive, caring and sharing person. I can depend on her. She is a complete woman in every sense. Independent and fearless, she can take on anyone, but she is also, humble and unassuming, never taking credit for the things she does. She is a wonderful mother, living the values that she wants her children to inculcate. I cherish her for the better person that she makes me want to become."
Their professional lives have undergone a sea-change since Anmol started his own company, Boomerang Software Pvt Ltd, which specialisesd in medical billings and transcriptions."I used to help him in the beginning, taking on whatever was within my understanding, considering that I came from a non-technical background," smiles Shehnaz. Despite the rough and tumble of starting their own company, Shehnaz points out that bringing up two young children has been a shared responsibility. "As a father, he's involved. I have never felt that I am doing the lion's share of the parenting. It helps that he can work from home. Be it driving them to different classes, or doing little things for them, he's always there. He's also encouraged me to restart my writing assignments," she says. Anmol feels parenting is a process of continuous learning. "Kids teach us more than we teach them. We try to be perfect parents but there is no such thing as perfect parenting. We make it a point to give them a peaceful and loving atmosphere," he says.
What, according to them, makes a relationship work ? "Simplicity; keeping things uncomplicated," says Shehnaz. "The more you complicate things, the tougher they become. Instead focus on certain intangibles-like love, care, communication and laughter. Everything then falls into place." Anmol would add constant communication, spending time with each other and mutual trust. So who makes up in case of a fight "It is always I who make up. She just switches off and goes about doing her own thing. But I hate it when we don't talk so I try to end the fight as soon as possible." Importantly, they keep up the communication. " We usually sit down and discuss issues on the same day. We both have very strong opinions on many issues and so we have a lot more discussion than most couples," he says.
By Kalyani Sardesai
