It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances got sealed in marriage
Ashwini and Kedar Deodhar are partners in both life and at work. First generation entrepreneurs helming software solutions firm Zestorm Technologies, their mutual camaraderie is the result of shared dreams and values. Not to mention a firm belief in respecting each other’s space
As individuals, they couldn’t be more different. He’s outgoing, extroverted and social. She’s reserved, takes her time opening up, and doesn’t talk a lot. Yet they work as a couple. Sixteen years and counting, the Deodhars are testimony to the strength of a shared dream—as well as the importance of giving each other due space to enjoy their own individual pursuits, and nurture their friendships
Their journey together dates back to 2000 when Ashwini, a first MCM post-graduate, joined Kedar’s start-up Zestorm Technologies as his second employee. First impression of her? “I was struck by her honesty; she was very clear and open about what she knew and what she did not. The attitude was refreshing,” Kedar remembers. The job portfolios were clear-cut; she was a hardcore technical developer, whereas he had to lead the young company. They got along pretty well—and a warm friendship blossomed. “Jobs in the field of IT tend to be like that. You spend long hours at work—and are thrown together a lot,” smiles Ashwini.
Despite the differences, the both had a lot in common: a similar cultural background, exposure to the joint family system, not to mention a shared understanding of developments in the fast growing world of computers. Enough to envisage a future together, right? “Actually, it wasn’t quite like that,” Ashwini. “Coming from a fairly traditional setup my parents were on the lookout for a suitable marital alliance for me. At 23, my mom was very concerned about when I would settle down, and lined up different prospective suitors,” she says. “For one such meeting I was slated to travel to Mumbai. Kedar being both my friend and boss, I told him the reason for the trip.” To which his response was a cryptic, ‘’Meet me at the neighbourhood ice cream shop after work.’’ So when they did meet he asked her straightaway why she was taking the trouble to go all the way, and putting herself through the process. “I asked him jokingly if he was prepared to marry me instead—and he said yes,” shares Ashwini. A short while later, they were duly wed.
Both Kedar and Ashwini believe in laying the ground work for closer family relationships. “His parents used to stay in Nashik then. Each fortnight we would make the journey from Pune just to spend a day with them. It was hectic, but a lot of fun. It also helped me understand his family better,” says Ashwini. And she is glad they took the trouble. “My in laws have emerged an invaluable support system for me post the birth of both our children,’’ she says.
Foodies both, they enjoy inviting friends and families over. “We love doing that a lot. Friendships play a huge role in a person’s life, and fill a space beyond family and work. Having lived and worked in Bengaluru in the earliest days of my career, I do understand the importance of friends forming your support system and help you grow as a person,” says Kedar. Most unlike the average Indian husband, he has encouraged his spouse to have her own circle of friends. “This is especially important in a woman’s life as we have several complex roles to play, managing and running different zones,” says Ashwini. “For instance, despite having a young baby less than a year old, he pushed me to attend the Women Entrepreneurs Program run by Goldman Sachs. I was quite annoyed, given that it was time consuming and required me to travel during its latter half. But in retrospect, it was the best thing to happen to me. I made friends beyond those I already had from school and college; unlike the former, they belong to assorted backgrounds and age-groups but mingling with different people is what makes us grow as people.”
The Deodhars have kept their equation peaceful and resilient by giving each other due space. “While we work together, we have always handled different projects and portfolios,” says Kedar. While he is the Managing Director, and she the Director, her roles and timings are vastly different—especially since the birth of their second son. “My client handling has reduced a lot; I mostly deal with marketing support in proposals writing and so on,” she says. But given that their boys are now fairly grown up—Advay (12) and Aarush (7), Ashwini is venturing into new territory with ample support from Kedar. “My side of the family owns a space at the foothills of Sinhagad, which we have developed as The Mango Lounge—a place to hold events,” she says. “It’s early days yet, but I would like her to go full throttle at it—and take the venture a few notches higher. Times and lifestyles have changed; once the kids grow up, the empty nest syndrome tends to set in. I don’t want that to be the case with her; she has tremendous potential,” says Kedar.
Parenting is an integral area of teamwork for a couple. Here, too, the roles are clearly set. “While she is the primary care-giver and the strict one especially when it comes to observing rules about bed-time and studies, I am the one who takes them out for swimming, trekking and outdoorsy activities. Building a friendly and loving relationship with the kids is crucial. In India, we tend to have support systems in the form of family and domestic help-people who can look after your kids for a few hours and more. Thus, it becomes all the more vital to make it a point to spend time with the children, and do little things together. Instead of just lecturing kids to avoid screen time, take them in open air activities is my mantra. My kids have done quite a few treks including camping out ones to forts near Pune since childhood”
“Of course, communication is the foundation of every aspect of your life. Given the frenetic pace of our lives today, it is important to take out a few moments and communicate with one’s spouse. And the advent of tools like WhatasApp and a myriad other chats have made it easier to do just that—so why not use them to the optimum?” -Ashwini
Amidst all this, the couple make it a point to carve out few moments together by making short trips to coffee shops and ice cream parlours, late nights—just the two of them. “Of course, communication is the foundation of every aspect of your life. Given the frenetic pace of our lives today, it is important to take out a few moments and communicate with the spouse. And the advent of tools like WhatasApp and a myriad other chats have made it easier—so why not use them to the optimum?” she says. Both are appreciative of each other too. While he admires her for the maturity with which she handles relationships and keeps family bonds alive, she loves his untiring zest for life and the ability to enjoy all that he loves to do—cycling, running, swimming, triathlons and of course trekking, having done more than a hundred treks, despite his demanding schedules.
How do they get over differences? “Either you celebrate them, or you accept them, without making an issue of them. One must keep the relationship above everything; don’t let negativities linger” says Kedar. After all, differences do make life more interesting—and the sharing that much more valuable!
By Kalyani Sardesai
