It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Their relationship has traversed rocky terrain to reach where it has today. Corporate couple Vishal Vyas and Meenakshi Shinde let us in on their journey of trust. Four-year-old Vihaan completes the picture
When they left home 11 years ago to embark on their own little journey, they knew the hurdles were many: setting up home and hearth in a city like Pune, far removed from the security of their hometown Satara, finding suitable employment-and being without the safety net of family.
Still, both Vishal and Meenakshi were confident that the step they had taken-of marrying sans consent-was the right one. And that their faith in each other would see them through. Today, as they look back in satisfaction at all they've achieved together-Vishal is Vice President Vinsys IT services-and she a temporary housewife after a rewarding 10 years as a computer professional in various Pune-based companies-one thing is clear. "The cultural differences that are presented before a young couple as the biggest reason for not marrying outside the community don't make any difference when survival is the focus, and the two people only have each other to fall back on," says Vishal. A poignant-yet pertinent point. He's a deshastha brahmin; she's a Maratha-and this is their story as they tell it.
It all started when Vishal Vyas-a Satara based, electronics engineering student-cum-student activist-helped out a friend to set up a training institute. That's when he met a teacher at the institute-Meenakshi Shinde. First impressions? "She spoke little, and did not suffer fools easily," smiles Vishal. "She probably thought I talked too much."
But gradually they broke the ice and started speaking to each other only to discover there was much to appreciate. While Vishal appreciated her focus and sincerity, Meenakshi was struck by his intelligence, assorted interests (theatre, public speaking, socio-political activism and reading) and his infectious energy. "He has a way of connecting with people; bringing them together," she says. "It's rare."
But both had goals to achieve: Vishal needed to complete his engineering, while Meenakshi (slightly older) - who had already completed her degree in computer science needed to get a better job, preferably a government one. She did find one: in Guhagar, Konkan. That's when the friendship truly blossomed. "I used to ride all the way from Satara to Guhaghar, a distance of 200 plus kilometers, just to talk to her," says Vishal.
In some time, Meenakshi resigned from her Guhaghar job and found employment in Pune, as she wanted to live in a bigger city. She also finished her master's degree. "By this time her parents had begun to look for a suitable marital alliance for her. They even finalised a match."
Deeply in love, both Vishal and Meenakshi went from Satara to Pune-to talk the potential suitor out of the marriage. "Naturally, all hell broke loose. Looking back, it's so sad that we were both comfortable talking to a stranger instead of our families," reminisces Vishal. The course of events thereafter convinced them that they would have to take a firm stand. "Meenakshi was summoned back home in disgrace; she was scolded and made aware of her responsibilities as a daughter. What would people say?! No one else in the family had even thought of an inter-caste marriage. The Marathas are a tradition loving and clannish people, and the notion of marrying a brahmin boy was just atrocious," shares Vishal.
By this time, unable to make much headway with his engineering-given his multiple interests, Vishal was the owner of a stable and successful business, selling computers. They knew they could marry if they chose to. "However, I ensured that her family would not be able to initiate legal proceedings against us with the help of my contacts. She left home taking her ration card and other documents as proof of her age," he says.
With the help of their friends, the duo went through a simple, civil ceremony that duly declared them man and wife. A short phone call by Vishal communicated to their families that they were both married. Now the question arose where they would go-and what they would do.
"The two months that followed thereafter were a lasting lesson in life-and living. We fully knew the implications of the drastic step we had taken-and we knew we had to make it work," says Vishal. "Meanwhile, my father formally accepted us as a couple, but I knew the chasm would remain." The couple travelled from Pune to Bangalore to Mumbai to Satara-before finally heading back to Pune, looking for suitable accommodation and employment. "In those early days, there was little we could afford. I found a job first, but Meenakshi being highly qualified needed to wait before finding something appropriate." Gradually, one thing led to the otherand the two of them found their moorings. As of today, Vishal is vice president with Vinsys IT services. His work, that entails consulting, public speaking, and corporate training, requires him to travel abroad frequently, so Meenakshi has taken a sabbatical from her work to look after their little boy.
“The cultural differences that are presented before a young couple as the biggest reason for not marrying outside the community don’t make any difference when survival is the focus, and the two people only have each other to fall back on,” says Vishal
"I would say trust. Everything flows from there," says Vishal. "Love, understanding, camaraderie.... practically everything worth having comes to you if only you trust yourself and your partner." "When we discuss something, the argument is centred around the implications, not around the intentions," adds Meenakshi. "As a result, the arguments don't turn into something big."
The distance with the family still remains, but Vishal's sister was a major support around the time of Meenakshi's delivery. "This was one time we both missed our loved ones. The feeling of loneliness tends to intensify when you have such great news to share; but then, I guess that has inculcated in us a greater sense of responsibility towards each other and Vihaan," she says.
Vishal credits his wife with channelising his energy in the right direction. "I have huge reserves of enthusiasm; I can work 18 hours a day and love every moment of it. I had a tendency of taking on a lot, and not finishing it. But I have outgrown that. Thanks to her calming and balanced presence, I manage to take every task to its logical conclusion," he says.
Their life together has been rewarding in several ways. "Today, we have everything we need, but the times of financial constrain did not take away from the joy of discovery. We made great friends along the way," she says.
Both believe in respecting differences-even enjoying them. "For example, I prefer spicy cooking to the sedate fare that brahmin families enjoy as a staple. Though she is an ardent non-vegetarian, and I, a vegetarian, neither of us make an issue of it. When we go to a hotel, I stick to my veggies while she enjoys a thali of seafood. These diversities of preferences make life interesting." Though the last decade has seen Vishal transform from a 'right wing' activist to an atheist, he is clear that none of beliefs are incumbent upon his wife who continues to be a devout Hindu.
Given his work schedules that have him travelling a lot, the parenting mostly falls on Meenakshi. "It was a well-thought out, mutual decision," she says. "This work profile, though demanding, is very fulfilling, allowing full expression to his multi-faceted personality. Besides, it's a fact that in the initial days of a child's life, it's the mother who plays the major role. Very close to his father, Vihaan insists on Skype calls with him before bed. And although he can't read, he shows a great interest in looking at his vast collection of books."
The family makes the most of the time they have together-watching movies and travelling to their farm in Satara. Meenakshi is the stricter, stay at home parent, Vishal believes in rationalising and explaining everything to their little boy. "I want to bring him up with the confidence that he can talk to us about anything, anytime," he says.
By Kalyani Sardesai
