LOVED AND MARRIED TOO : LOVELY INDO-US TIES

It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage

Married for over 16 years, Loveena Aggrawal and Jason Leonardo have partnered each other both in life and work. From accepting cultural differences to the bringing up of their two boys to the founding and running of their company Everything Expats—an unique concept that helps ease the process of relocating to Pune for the rapidly increasing expat community. A challenge—and a joy—if ever there was one. This is their story and this is how they tell it.

Their relationship has traversed two continents and a bouquet of experiences— both tough and tender. And like good coffee, only gotten better with time. Possibly it helps that they are still so much in love.

The duo first met in 1998 in Denver, Colorado training as event coordinators for the non-profit organisation ‘Up with People’—a global educational organisation that aims to bring the world together through service and music, with a view to promoting better cultural understanding amongst peoples of different nationalities.

Loveena, a Pune girl, through and through- -up to that point had just moved to the US post her MBA—and was looking forward to discovering a whole new world. A world—of which romance—would be very much a part.

First impression of her as she walked into the room? "Pretty girl. And whoa! She actually smiled at me," reminisces Jason. "I later realised that she smiled at everyone—not just me," he grins. Nevertheless, both hit it off very well. The conversation flowed easily, they both had a lot to talk about. So much so, that they actually discussed the possibility of marriage just two weeks hence.

"I brought up the subject—and he said a yes." It was as simple as that.

We are both perfectionists and go-getters with an eye for detail—and at times butting heads is inevitable. However, we both have our individual competencies- -though at the end of the day we are a unit. We like to be as hands on as possible but with time the business is expanding, and we will have to let go a bit” — Loveena

When East meets West

The families took a bit of convincing, though— given their different nationalities.

"I called up mom—and uttered just one sentence before hanging up the phone: I had met an American boy," shares Loveena. "Bas! That was enough to give her a few sleepless nights."

Nevertheless, Loveena's dad—having been a well-travelled marine engineer—was much more open to the idea.

From Jason's side, his father was concerned too—considering his son's capacity to form deep attachments. "He just didn't want me to get hurt. But when he understood that this was what I wanted, he was happy for us."

A ring and a poem later

Nevertheless, Jason wanted to pop the question with ceremony and care. "So one day, he asked me to put on my best dress—as we were to go out for dinner," says Loveena. This was in Shawnee, a small-town in Oklahoma where they were setting up an event for Up with People.

Jason had taken the trouble to take the Larsons, the family hosting Loveena, into confidence. So they weren't too surprised when he showed up at their doorstep in a Limousine—all the better to pick her up in style.

"He took me to this really nice restaurant. I had an inkling that something was in the air—though I couldn't figure out what," says Loveena. "To top it, he kept asking me why I wasn't visiting the bathroom for a bit—so finally I did."

Building blocks of a bond
  • Being open to each other’s ways- -taking the time and trouble to understand nuances way different from those you are used to
  • Not making an issue of religion
  • Earmarking quality time together
  • Pursuing goals of mutual value together

On return, she found a ring—nestled amidst the fragrant folds of a floral bouquet—Jason on bended knee—even as the staff and other guests looked on. What followed was the most beautiful proposal ever. "He read out a poem he had specially composed for me—telling me what I meant to him...But of course it had to be a yes!"

Things moved pretty fast then. "I had told him at the outset that since I was an only child we would have to live in India one day—and he was ok with that," she says.

So they moved to India in January 2000—a month before their nuptials.

Namaste India!

Naturally, Jason had to take on the onus of understanding and accepting the nuances of a whole new culture. "We had about 400 to 500 people for our engagement—and the journey of adjustment started from there," he smiles. "It was frustrating and overwhelming at times—but gradually it got easier and easier. People here tend to be very personal and caring—they want to do things for you. Being an independent sort of person, who was totally used to doing things for himself—it was a bit tough—but when you keep an open mind, it all works out eventually."

They married the Hindu way in India in February and the Roman Catholic way in the US in July—and both ceremonies were a whole lot of fun. "It was her side of the family that had planned everything—so there was no confusion or conflict in anyway," he smiles. "My folks couldn't make it; my sisters did though."

Another stint followed in the US before the duo finally moved back to India in 2008—for good—as had been decided.

Possibly they would join Loveena's family business or strike out on their own.

As luck would have it, it was the latter.

Everything expats

It was round about this time that Loveena noticed the change in Pune's landscape. "Rapid industrialisation and growth meant that the expat community was an increasing presence. And with Pune ranking high as the city of preference for most expats, the numbers would only keep growing from strength to strength. What was common to all, though, was the sense of being lost," she says. "Be it buying an oven—to finding the right document for the Indian authorities— to hiring help—to finding schools and furnishing apartments to their test, India can be a confusing and layered experience for many. We decided we could do something to make the relocation from another country a whole lot smoother," says Loveena.

And thus was born the seed of an idea—called Everything Expats.

So from helping expats find suitable accommodation by renting property, to doing up their apartment, finding their feet in a whole new country to simplifying the foreigner registration process; help in organising everyday logistics such as Internet and cable TV connections, orienting them with the city to classes in communication skills and social etiquette to help bridge the cultural gap, and finally departure management— everything expats is a one-stop answer to assorted questions facing the expat community. "We also help with understanding the finer nuances of Indian culture," says Jason. "For instance, a lot of expats simply can't figure out why Indians don't give a straightforward answer—especially when the outcome is negative. They wonder if they are being tricked—which is not so. It's just that locals are loathe to let down guests—or have them form a negative impression of India."

Nine years on, they have helped relocate thousands of families--and counting.

The mantra of a marriage

"He's friendly and funny—superb sense of humour," says Loveena on being asked what she likes most about him. For his part, Jason would call her "genuine and honest with a gift of making people feel at home."

What also works big time is neither of them is very religious, but welcoming of different influences. A fact that finds ample expression in the manner they've done up their home—with a bit of both Indian and American taste.

And even as they manage their time around their work—and two boys—Avinash (12) and Andrew ( 9), they are particular about keeping a bit of time for themselves. "We go out on date nights still. It helps us reconnect," she says.

Apart from which, the family takes regular vacations together. "One ritual is to hire a RV and do road trips around the US each summer. It's fun, helps us unwind and we are able to spend quality time together," they say.

Despite the pressures of their schedules, Jason says the family makes it a point to have at least a meal together a day. "It's a bit tough, but worth the trouble," he says.

A lot of expats simply can’t figure out why Indians don’t give a straightforward answer, especially when the outcome is negative. They wonder if they are being tricked, which is not so. It’s just that locals are loathe to let down guests, or have them form a negative impression of India” — Jason

Working together poses its own set of challenges. "A lot of friends ask me how on earth I manage to work with my husband," laughs Loveena. “So yes, he does drive me crazy at times—but it works out. We are both perfectionists and go-getters with an eye for detail—and at times butting heads is inevitable. However, we both have our individual competencies—though at the end of the day we are a unit. We like to be as hands on as possible but with time the business is expanding, and we will have to let go a bit."

"Mom and dad have great camaraderie," grins Avinash. "I mean, he'll say something like: that woman we met the other day, what was her name? And she immediately gets it."

So maybe, that's what it's all about. They get each other. Yup, that's about it.

By Kalyani Sardesai