It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Theirs is a typical fairy tale of ‘boy meets girl on a college campus and they live happily ever after’ with a very modern twist. “I do not know if it is a classic case of opposites attracting, but it’s been three decades since we have been completing the gaps in each other’s personalities and lives,” says Ruhi Ranjan. As Managing Director, Financial Services, Accenture, she is one half of a power couple, married to the equally successful Sanjeev Ranjan, Managing Director, International Copper Association India. Despite the rather typical beginnings of their lives together, when they met at IIT Rourkee, became friends, decided to spend the rest of their lives together, met with some objection from their families, which they surmounted, the Ruhi and Sanjeev Ranjan story is envious. The two halves have drawn strength from each other and bettered their careers and lives
With both spouses working, one is often required to compromise and statistically more often than not, it is women who do so. The first test came very early in their marriage. Ruhi had an opportunity to take the TickIT training which would have added tremendous value to her skill set. However, it would have meant leaving Raghav, their then one-year-old son, in the supervision of domestic help. “It was difficult for me to leave a small child with a maid for a week, for the very first time,” she reminisces. Sanjeev, however, was not just supportive, but insistent that she avail the opportunity.
Better halves in the true sense of the word, they both take on any role as and when needed. “There are no typical stereotypes in our family and if mom is not around, dad has always stepped in and vice versa, be it a parent teacher meeting or a prom night,” she says. “We are extremely supportive of each other and yet give each other a lot of space. There were days when the kids were young, when I was too tired to cook or clean or to help the kids with their studies and Sanjeev always stepped Ruhi and Sanjeev Ranjan up on those occasions.” Like when their sons Raghav and Rohan were 11 and eight years old, Ruhi took up an assignment in the US in 2003 and 2004. With no grandparents or extended family to help out, Sanjeev became a single parent, faced with the challenges of managing the home and work fronts with young kids. His work too entailed travel and this meant a lot of coordination with domestic help to ensure the well-being of the children, not something many men would sign up for. But he not only did it extremely well, he also picked up cooking as a hobby and even today delights friends and family with the meals he puts together.
Both Sanjeev and Ruhi have nurtured their careers and also have great respect for the work the other does. “And respect it enough to never discuss work once back from office. We never form opinions based on half-truths in each other’s organisations and let each one steer their career.” In their equal opportunity marriage they have never differentiated between his or her colleagues though Ruhi admits she is the social one. “Sanjeev is more than happy to let me take the initiative as he takes time to open up and warm up to people. I, on the other hand, have friends who call me at all times for opinions or just to share their news and I am a regular agony aunt.” But the gap, she says, has reduced over the years and she has mellowed, while he is now more open to new people.
Having grown up with only sisters, Ruhi says that again it was Sanjeev who gave her fresh perspective on how to raise their two boys so as not to stifle them or drive herself crazy. “The boys sometimes gang up against me via sports, especially European football, where I am a persona non-grata in the TV room,” she laughs.
Their parenting styles too differ and Ruhi describes herself as the tough disciplinarian, while “Sanjeev pampers the boys and our dog, is their shoulder to cry on and gives a patient hearing to all their sob stories,” she says.
A stickler, Ruhi does not spare herself either and is up at 5.30 every morning for her time at the gym. “It is something that puzzles Sanjeev since he feels it makes for a very long day. He would rather wake up more leisurely and choose a walk with our dog as his form of exercise. But I treat the time at the gym as ‘me time’ when I am away from the corporate buzz and no one has any demands to make on me. I have slots for what I have to do and devote myself to it wholeheartedly, irrespective of whether I have support for it at home or not,” she says firmly.
Her self-discipline has saved the day many times admits Sanjeev, as he recounts how they were spared having to part with a lakh-and-a half rupees by producing the receipts that Ruhi had filed away in her usual organised manner.
Unlike most traditional marriages where the man is often the one who takes charge of the finances and documentation, it is Ruhi who files away all the papers and can be depended upon to produce them at a minute’s notice. Sanjeev, on the other hand, is happy tinkering around with whatever needs fixing at home. From leaky faucets to bikes that need repairs, he maintains everything in pristine condition.
There are no typical stereotypes in our family and if mom is not around, dad has always stepped in and vice versa, be it a parent-teacher meeting or a prom night
“So now we save it all up for the weekend,” says Ruhi as Sanjeev works out of Mumbai during the week. Just like Ruhi, Sanjeev too has had to spend time away from the family as he was in Bengaluru for two years before moving to Mumbai three years ago. “The time we do spend together on the weekends is all the more precious and we never waste it by discussing business and organisation issues at home. It helps us break the monotony of office and keep our home free of office politics.” Weekends, in fact, end up being completely about home, family and time to stock up for the week. Sanjeev is better at grocery shopping and they find joy in picking out groceries for their homes in Mumbai and Pune. If he is the ardent shopper in the family, she is the one who drives them around on the weekends. They bolster each other’s spirits and have fun, active weekends filled with family and friends. “We spend all our time together whether it is a dinner or a movie and though I love watching rom-coms and Sanjeev is a die-hard action fan, we still accompany each other for movies.”
A self-admitted perfectionist, Ruhi tends to obsess over whatever she takes up and her work often takes priority over everything else. “It can get very irritating for folks at home as my work hours extend very long but everyone understands that I am passionate about whatever I set my mind to, and ensure that I do it well. Sanjeev does put his foot down on occasion like when I get carried away doing up the house. He supported me till it started hurting the wallet and then quietly reasoned with me. Similarly, we are both fond of travelling to new countries and new holiday destinations but I can never travel on shoe-string budgets and it has to be the best of hotels, and the best of locations while Sanjeev is more easy-going.”
By Suchismita Pai
