The Perfect Foil
Mumbai-based actor and voiceover artiste Alekh Sangal and his better half Nazneen Dharamsey aka Naz, a research and strategy consultant for CSR, believe that with planning and prioritisation, one can indeed have it all: rewarding careers and a harmonious family life. Their three-year-old son Ziaan Dharamsey Sangal completes the circle of love
This Valentine's Day, here's to the magic of love, connection and some good friends who know you well.
Thus, when actor and voiceover artist Alekh Sangal was introduced in 2016 to Naz through a common friend's suggestion, he was told in no uncertain terms to meet her, date her and marry her. Bemused though he was, he decided to approach this friendship with an open mind.
And, that is how it all started. First WhatsApp chats, then a date. The conversation flowed seamlessly.
However, Nazneen Dharamsey aka Naz was getting to know him with an altogether different mindset. The then ad professional was told in no uncertain terms by her friends that she really needed to know people outside of the media world.
The chats went on and on
Gradually, they decided to meet up. He was struck by her warm smile, hearty laugh and generally "classy" demeanour. On her part, she loved his confidence and how grounded he was. The rest is history.
Of similar values and complementary qualities
As the relationship progressed, Naz realised that they were different in ways that only served to cement their bond. "He seems more extroverted and outgoing, whereas I am relatively a woman of fewer words," she shares. "But, we are actually two sides of the same coin. I always say that he is the exterior to my interior, and I, the interior to his exterior," she added.
In other words, they really 'got' each other. The fact that both are single kids, who share a strong relationship with their respective parents—Alekh with his mom, and Naz with her mom-dad—was a common factor. "We both feel hugely responsible and committed to caring for our parents. He understands, and so do I," says Naz.
When the parents got to know, they were relieved and thrilled too. "In fact, both sets of parents got along like a house on fire. It was amazing how comfortable they were with each other," he reminisces.
So much so that it was actually Alekh's mom who popped the question to Naz at a social evening. "I was absolutely dumbstruck. In her mind, there was no doubt whatsoever as to the future of our relationship. But then I had to ask her: have you checked with your son first?" laughs Naz. To that, Alekh's mom breezily replied that she would have a word with Naz's mom-dad.
And well, that was that
THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE
- Supporting each other through thick and thin
- Shared values
- Sharing duties
- Working as a unit
- Spending quality time together
"Sharing, caring and looking out for the other, that's what a true partnership is sup posed to look like"
— Alekh Sangal
From strength to strength
Seven years of holy matrimony later, their lives are hectic, bustling but rewarding. Naz has moved on from the world of advertising to consultancy in research and strategy, while Alekh continues to act and give voiceovers. Amidst the rough and tumble of hectic schedules and the inevitable ups and downs that self-employment brings in its wake, the duo couldn't be happier. "The beauty of our work is that we can pick and choose our projects," says Alekh. "Balance is key. Some projects are for buoying up finances, some for artistic and creative satisfaction."
Most importantly, they can devote sufficient time to their little boy Ziaan. "I grew up with very hands-on parents, and both Alekh and I believe in spending time with him in these early, foundational years," says Naz.
To that end, both finances and schedules have to be perfectly planned, adjusted and prioritised. "The hustle is constant. But at the end of each day, no matter how long or hard, it all seems so worth it," she says quietly. “We are building something deeply precious.”
Their advice to those exploring self employment is simple. "Security is a mindset. If you love your work and are good at it, everything falls in place," says Alekh. It's a philosophy that has served them well, allowing them to build careers on their own terms without compromising on what truly matters.
Quality time together consists of heart-to hearts when Ziaan is asleep—Netflix shows and the mandatory coffee every fortnight at Candy's, a quaint little café at Bandra. "As Ziaan is growing up, he accompanies us too, and we really make a day of it as a family," says Alekh. Other fun activities together include reading and solving puzzles.
So, what are the pillars of a marriage, according to both? "Communication, trust, empathy and showing up every single day irrespective of the pressures of the day," says Naz promptly. On his part, Alekh would root for "working as a team to figure things out, and not letting the other down." No decision, he believes, should be one-sided, not when there are two people involved. "Sharing, caring and looking out for the other, that's what a true partnership is supposed to look like," he says.
Like every couple, they have their share of fights too. "But, the important thing is not to let things escalate. One person really has to show the bigger spirit in those fraught moments," says Naz.
Happily enough, their fights are far and few in between, Alekh adds.
Bringing up baby
The young parents like to place Ziaan and his needs front and centre. "There's a beautiful saying that goes: Give your children roots to stand their ground, and the wings to fly high in pursuit of their dreams. We really believe in that," says Naz. "To that end, we want him to grow up in a loving embrace that allows him to become the person he is meant to be: on his own terms, and in his own time." That said, discipline, responsibility, respect and concern for others around him are some of the foundational values that the couple hope to instill in him.
"We want him to grow up to do what he wants to. Academics are important, but being an all-rounder is always the best way to go," rounds off Alekh. It's clear that for this couple, love isn't just about the two of them anymore; it's also about creating a world where their little one can thrive. After all, life is a vector field of many factors, and love plays a huge part in it.